(Closed) Engagement Party

posted 14 years ago in Parties
Post # 17
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

I think they’re semi common here (in central Kentucky), but we did not have one for whatever reason. A lot of it had to do with the fact that we aren’t close geographically to many of our friends or to my family.

Post # 18
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I had a small-ish one thrown by the In laws not long after we got engaged. It was close family and the wedding party – or those we intended to ask. It was nice and fun. No need to have another. OH, and we had it at the In Laws house…

Post # 19
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We had one. We invited 30 close friends and local family and had it in the bar area of a nice restaurant in the same city where we live/are getting married. It cost about $400 for all the food and drinks and we paid for it ourselves. It was from 6-8 PM and we served house wines and a tapas buffet. 30 was the perfect number to invite – any more and we wouldn’t have gotten to say hi to everyone. About half the guests brought a gift and most were in the $50 range. We got a lot of restaurant gift certificates and candles.

Post # 20
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

We had one too.  We had a brunch for 40 at Savoy, a restaurant here in NYC.  It was wonderful, good food, wine and celebration.  We wanted a chance to celebrate since we had a (little over) year long engagement. We didn’t mention gifts because we assumed no one would bring them… but we were wrong.  We got lots of cute, fairly small gifts.  Although a few guests splurged.

Post # 21
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

We did not have one since I didn’t really see a need for it and that helped with the budgeting as well.  The parents did meet where FI’s mom made dinner for my family to come over last year.  It was nice and intimate without having to go to great lengths to achieve. =)

Post # 22
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2007

We were given an engagement party by friends of ours here in the town in which we live (not either of our hometowns).  They invited only our close friends and we made it very clear that there were to be no gifts!  It was a small party (about 10 couples) and it was just a low-key, fun dinner party to celebrate our engagement.  It was thoughtful, touching and perfect. 

Also, since I live about 12 hours from my parents and my hometown, my parents did throw us a post-wedding "open house" at Christmastime so that their friends (who were invited to the wedding but couldn’t make the long journey) could meet us.  It was larger, with about 50-75 people, but it was low-key, as well, with just heavy appetizers and drinks. 

Post # 23
Member
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Rebecca – We do second receptions, or later receptions a lot in my family.  All my mom’s family (7 brothers, 2 sisters, and all the cousins) live here in WA.  My sister is in NM, and I have several cousins in CA.  So I think its just polite – if the wedding is at a distance from your family and its not practical for them all to travel – to let them in on the celebration.  The second reception is usually a month or so after the wedding, when its convenient for the bride and groom to travel.  (My sister’s wedding was in NM at Thanksgiving, and the reception we threw for her in WA was between Christmas and New Years.)

I also have a number of cousins who are LDS, and of course since the temple ceremony is limited, there is always a later reception for everyone else.  You simply can’t have 250 people at your temple ceremony.  Also, many of them are married in the SLC temple, which brings up the issue of travel again.

There is a bride on the boards (sorry, can’t remember who) who is actually being married in England, and was posting about her second reception here in the states.

I would think of it as a version of the after-party – just longer after and farther away.  And I don’t think that people will not come to your wedding just because there is a second reception.  But I do think that the people who can’t come will appreciate getting to congratulate you and celebrate with you in person.

Post # 24
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

we did not have one – it wasnt a big deal to him, and i didnt really have an opinion on having one at the time… plus alot of my family and a few friends are spread throughout this planet and frankly, i didnt want to deal… (no wonder my name is Anti-Zilla!!)

 

Post # 25
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I had two enagement parties too- it was fine since the guest lists were completely different- one was in my hometown in CT at a local country club with a DJ and catered food and open ar (approx $12,000 budget) and I had on in CA where my fiancee is from and that was at his house.  It can be done as extravagently or as inexpensively as you want.  Even the house one had a DJ, catering, rented tables etc (ended up being over $10,000 as well).  If you have any more questions, I’d be happy to help.

Post # 27
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

We didn’t have one. I’ve attended my friend’s engagement party and it was a huge event at her parent’s house.  They had great Persian food, a DJ and a gift registry set up.  They even had a cake, toasts from both families and a professional photographer.  The couple held a separate "sweets and champagne" evening before the wedding.  I have heard of huge engagement celebrations in many cultures.  Although we didn’t have one, I think its a great idea to celebrate early with close friends and family, but I wouldn’t want guests to bring gifts.

Post # 28
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We had our engagement party last Saturday in DUMBO, NYC. It was beautiful!! 🙂

The weather, ambiance, and people were all great. Everyone said they had a great time.  They loved the food (we made Latin/Caribbean food, to go with our wedding theme and our heritage) and the adorable cupcakes we provided (though I’m still very salty about the cupcake thief/thieves, as we didn’t get to taste any of our own cupcakes!).  If only I weren’t working – to making sure that everyone else had what they needed/wanted; I might’ve had fun, too! But, I’m glad that our families and friends got to meet each other. Plus, I got to see a sneak preview of which of our attendants were truly helpful (and weren’t) and which of our non-attendant friends went above and beoynd to lessen the stress on us. I sooo appreciated that, especially since the day of ANY event, it can be quite chaotic. Planning a wedding – and all of the pre-wedding parties) really helps you see who your true friends really are. I’m still bothered about a few people who RSVP’d to say they’d be there but then totally flaked…and 6 days later, stiill haven’t sent even a text message to say "sorry, we can’t/couldn’t make it". Thank goodness it was only a few of those…

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