Post # 1
So my fiance and I will be having a engagement party in May next year (we are currently living overseas and will be visiting home for one month and want to celebrate our engagement while we are home)…
We are yet to decide if we will have a small wedding receiption or even an overseas wedding…
Is it rude to invite certain people to your engagement and then later down the track not to the wedding? As we are overseas (and will be for the next year) we have no idea on location or size of our wedding. We have great friends that we would love for them to celebrate our engagement but we are no where near finalising numbers for our wedding…
I have always been of the opinion that if you are invited to an engagement party than you should be invited to the wedding… My brother had a large engagement and small wedding which people didn’t seem to get offended by???
I am finding it hard to finalise numbers for the engagement seeing as we have no idea about location/venue size/budget for our wedding…
Post # 3
Who is hosting the party? If your parents, can they label it, welcome back home Island and Pennisula? I would just not label ti an engagement party.
Post # 4
We are hosting the party. It is our engagement party though (not a welcome home party)?
Post # 5
You don’t throw your own engagement party. This is why. Hosted events can have guests who aren’t invited to the party. If you are throwing your own party, don’t make it to celebrate yourselves/ your engagement
Post # 6
I second @MrsBroccoli The only engagement parties I’ve attended/my own were hosted by someone other than the bride and groom. They’ve been given by parents or other relatives or close family frineds. That being said, everyone invoted to the engagemnet party was invited to the wedding. As a guest, if I am invited to an engagement party, I 100% assume that I’m invited to the actual wedding. To be honest, if I was invited to an engagement party, then wasn’t invited to the wedding, I’d be pissed.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2019 - Italy
We’re hosting our own party too. It’s our engagement, our decision and friends and family will help out here and there with food and prep but it didn’t occur to me at all that someone else should be hosting/throwing it..
Haven’t known anyone else to have done that either. Maybe it’s a kiwi thing!
But all of my friends and family will be invited to celebrate. Whether that means that we can have everyone at the wedding or not is another story. It means we get to involve everyone in our journey without having a few hundred people at our wedding and a nice big debt.
To be honest if any of my friends/family didn’t understand that I don’t know if I’d really want them there in the first place.
Post # 9
Thanks for your post! This has made me feel a lot better! I am Australian so maybe it is how we do it down our end of the world but all of my friends have hosted their own engagement. We will be and we will be deteriming the list. Actually what you hve said has made me feel confident about inviting everyone (even if at this stage they may not get invited to the wedding).
At the end of the day, we are on a budget and we have to cut numbers for the wedding. Thanks heaps for your post!
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2019 - Italy
@island_bee: You’re so welcome!
Everyone is different and it’s YOUR choice so make it your own and who cares about the rest!
I think a lot of people need to remember that 🙂
I’m glad you feel better! Looking forward to seeing pictures of the party!
Post # 11
@island_bee: I think that’s totally reasonable! Although I will say that I have an Australian friend who got engaged around the same time I did, and it definitely seems like Australian engagement parties are a bigger deal there (she was explaining to me about the wishing well and all that stuff, which I’d never heard of before). But either way, even if you wind up having a small destination wedding, I’m sure people will just be happy to participate in your happy event in some way!
So I say, just include all the people you want to be there – and then find a place to host it that can include that many people within your budget (even if it’s super casual)!
Post # 12
@MrsBroccoli: I agree with her. As far as I know you don’t throw your own engagement party. When I was talking to my co workers, they all said throwing your own is really tacky.
*I want to have an engagement party but not sure if anyone is willing to do it for us..
but also I realize may people don’t have an engagement party..
Post # 13
I personally feel what your co-workers said is very mean. It is not tacky whatsoever to throw your own engagement party. Peoples cultures, finances and idea of ‘celebration’ differ.
In Australia, the engagement party is the opportunity to get together and celebrate our decision to get married. Most that I have attended the Bride and Groom hosted and arranged. I actually was surprised by the opinions that we shouldn’t host/arrange this ourselves. None that I have gone to have a wishing well, but presents (traditionally items for the household) are given.
My fiance and I will be arranging our engagement party. Who knows us better, than ‘us’. If you don’t have people to do this for you, I truely think you should arrange it yourself. If you have chosen bridesmaids maybe ask for their help in the finer details 🙂