(Closed) Engagement party! Are you having one?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
5387 posts
Bee Keeper

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missviolet92 :  My SO and I had an engagement party. We had it 4 months after we got engaged but that’s because we are having a  really long engagement. I am in California and it is not common here (in my crowd at least). I am the only one of my family and friends who had one. Our guests even told us they have never been to one before except for ours. I don’t think it’s as common in the US as what I have observed here. If it happens in the US, I see it just usually around New York City area. It seems like it’s more common in Australia from what I read here.

Post # 3
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I have only ever known of a handful of engagement parties and been to 1, so no I don’t think its a thing here in the UK!

Imho weddings cost enough of people’s time and money as it is without adding another party with its hosting costs, outfits, travel, gifts etc etc

Post # 4
109 posts
Blushing bee

We want to have one, but it sounds very expensive and we’d rather use that money towards the actual wedding… what’s the etiquette around engagement parties? Can you have a house engagement party?

Post # 5
4594 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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sensiblesusie :  I’m in the UK and I’d say it’s more common than you’d think. Probably 3 in 10 engagements in my experience. I know people who have had big dos at restaurants or hall like OP. That said we kept it small, only bridal party and immediate family. Not all our family had met and wanted to make sure we have a tight knit group on the day. We had a cake but no extra decor, special outfit or gifts. There’s a good chance that other people keep it small and I just don’t know about it? We intentionally kept it close to the chest so we didn’t offend people.

ETA Future Mother-In-Law hosted it.

Post # 6
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Canadian Rockies

No. I’m in the US. Not sure if it’s a thing, as I have no personal experience with it with friends or fam… I’m not having one. Not having a bridal shower either. And my Bachelorette (hen) won’t even be a real party – just going out with friends. (I’m not much of a traditionalist haha) I don’t have much family, and just a handful of close friends so I don’t see the point

Post # 7
250 posts
Helper bee

Engagement parties are definitely a thing where I’m from. I live on the southern east coast in the US and I’d say about half of the couples I know that have gotten married have had engagement parties. I do think that they keep them fairly small and informal but it’s a good way to get people excited for your wedding and make sure both families have met. Or in my case, all four families 😂 having divorced parents on my side and my SOs side is craziness. That being said, I don’t want an engagement party, but I do think they’re fairly common. 

Post # 8
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: St. petersburg, FL

My Fiance and I were engaged in March, and I thought I would be going the traditional route of having all of these parties… but I did not have an engagement party. My Future Mother-In-Law wanted to throw one for us, but we were in the process of buying a house so we declined having one. 

My sister’s BF told us he was proposing, so I threw her a surprise engagement party with the help of one of her friends who will definitely be a bridesmaid. 

To each his own! Engagement parties are common around me, but I just didn’t really want one.

Post # 9
2818 posts
Sugar bee

We didn’t have one – we skipped all the pre-wedding stuff (bachelor/bachelorette party, engagement party, bridal shower, etc). Our family and friends are spread out around the country so it would have been logistically difficult, and we wanted to be low fuss about it all. Plus, planning and paying for our wedding was enough work/expense. If we lived closer to family/friends and had a planner & unlimited funds at our disposal, maybe we’d have considered it. 

Post # 10
538 posts
Busy bee

We are in Los Angeles, and we had one. We hosted an engagement party at a Tunisian restaurant in Hollywood for our immediate families to meet. We had a five course meal, cocktails, and there were dancers for entertainment. Everyone had a great time, and it was under 1k.

Post # 11
2341 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I’m in Seattle, it’s a thing here but I know a lot of people that do not have an engagement party. We didn’t have one, we live in a small apartment and it seemed like a waste of money to rent a place out to host it. We’re also having a super short (4 months) engagement so it didn’t make sense.

Post # 12
370 posts
Helper bee

I’m from the UK, I think it’s definitely becoming more trendy these days, I know several people who have had them. When I got engaged the majority of people asked if we would have a party too, we didn’t!! 

Post # 13
178 posts
Blushing bee

In my experience all the engagement parties has been the couple inviting their parents to coffee and cake.

Post # 14
1496 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

We did not have any sort of engagement party, shower, bachelor/ette, rehearsal, etc. 

Personally I find them unnecessary. How many parties do you need to ask people to come to? Celebrate getting married at the wedding, in my opinion. 

But I know others do these things and like them! Just not for me, I’d feel funny asking people for all of that time. 

Post # 15
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

My husband and I didn’t want extra wedding parties, but I actually really appreciated the engagement dinner my Mother-In-Law gave for us. His family lives in a different country and while I’ve met them all at Christmases, my parents hadn’t. My parents went down to their town for a few days six months before the wedding and met everyone at a big family dinner. Keeping it to just family and just so that the families can meet each other in a low stress environment was great, and it was really nice to see everyone getting along so easily at the actual wedding, since they had met before! 

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