(Closed) Engagement party dinner – who pays?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012 - Wynn Las Vegas/Bouchon Bistro

Since everyone is close, could you have your bridesmaid spread the fact that it’s a non-hosted dinner by word of mouth? Then people can graciously bow out if they can’t swing the cost themselves. If you would like to treat your close friends, you can always buy the first round of drinks.

Post # 4
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think if I were invited to an “engagement party dinner,” I’d assume the host was going to pay… but if it’s just a small group, you could spread it around by word of mouth that everyone will pay for themselves… it seems to me that normally engagement parties are hosted by someone other than the bride/groom, and the host pays (usually a family member or close friend, or group of close friends).

Post # 7
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you should pay as you really are hosting it for yourselves. If I were invited, I’d be kind of surprised if the check came, I was asked to pay and I wasn’t expecting it.

Post # 8
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think you or the bridesmaid who sent the evite should pay for it. Other guests will probably not realize that they are expected to pay their own way, and this can leave a bad taste in people’s mouth, and even lead to embarrassment if they don’t have enough money. I also think it’s too late at this point to get the word out that you aren’t paying, considering it’s in just a few days. Since you say it’s a casual restaurant and it won’t break the bank, it’d be a really nice thing for you to treat. JMHO.

Post # 10
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

i would assume the event was hosted–since showers, rehearsal dinners, and weddings are always hosted.

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