(Closed) Engagement Party – FMIL INSISTS I wear a sash/pin/etc

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
2796 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Realistically, is this a hill you want to die on?  If she’s OK with you doing photos with and without whatever it is, I honestly would let it go.  Could you compromise and maybe say you don’t think a corsage is appropriate, but a “Bride” badge or pin would be OK?  That should be relatively small and not too noticeable.  Everyone is going to know you’re the bride so chances are you’ll be the centre of attention anyway – the pin/sash/whatever isn’t going to change it.  If you go with this, then you’ll have better ground when there’s something you REALLY want to say no to that comes up.

Post # 3
Member
7890 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

My mom can be a little pushy about these things as well. It drives me crazy, but I know she means well.

It’s just one engagement party, which she is throwing for you. I would just suck it up. At some point during the party, you can always just take those things off if they bother you that much. For those that know you well, they will know it’s not “you” and figure someone else got it for you. 

Post # 4
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Put the pin or whatever on for 5 minutes and then take it off and “accidentally” forget to put it back on … problem solved

if its really cheesy then give your Fiance the eye when you get there and have him say something to his mom (sorry mom but this is lame! no way am I wearing that)

sounds like she is just excited and happy for you which is a good thing when it comes to Mother-In-Law

 

Post # 5
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

I think you need to pick your battles here. Wear the sash for some of the party.. this makes things easier between you and Future Mother-In-Law which will make the wedding planning much easier. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
9180 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Wear it for a little while and then discreetly remove/hide it/give it to a child. It probably isn’t the hill to die on right? 

Post # 9
Member
2796 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

She does sound a bit pushy – but it seems to be because she’s excited for you rather than because she wants to control your wedding.  If the corsage/sash/pin/whatever is horrible, then I agree with the PPs saying to wear it for a while then take it off and forget to put it back on!  I would think so long as she can get a photo of you wearing it she’ll be happy.

Post # 10
Member
3436 posts
Sugar bee

Just writing in to say that WB should use OP’s post as a template for all future posts asking for advice. Loved the short/long versions!

Also, I get what you are saying. Bride to be stuff is not my thing either.  BUT … a pin seems like an easy thing to give in on, especially if down the road you need to tell her no about bigger stuff.

Post # 11
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh, gosh, I feel you, I would be embarrassed to wear something like that, too. Your response is very funny, of course people at your engagement party will know who the bride is! My Future Mother-In-Law can get obsessed with these Pinterest-y ideas, too, and I mostly let my Fiance handle it, since he’s able to be blunt with her. What does your Fiance think about it?

I would tread carefully with your Future Mother-In-Law, though, she sounds a little pushy. There’s a fine line between choosing your battles/letting her have a small victory, and opening yourself up to controlling behavior.

Post # 12
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’d be very annoyed, but at least she’s excited for you! I have the opposite problem. My Future Mother-In-Law didn’t even congratulate us when we told her we got engaged and hasn’t asked a single thing about the wedding that we have mostly all the way planned..

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