Post # 1
I’m in the process of planning an engagement party for myself and my fiance and just wanting to get opinions on gifts at an engagement party?
We’ve been to three over the past year, and each one had either a wishing well or nicely put that they would like vouchers for gifts as they were setting up a new house.. but from other posts it seems alot of people find there shouldn’t be gifts?
We’ll be having the party at home (approx 100 people) and as we already live together we don’t really ‘need’ anything and aren’t expecting huge gifts either.. just not sure what the etiquette is!
Thanks in advance!
Post # 2
If you are hosting your own engagement party it can seem really rude to ask for gifts. It may seem like your reason for having the party is to get gifts. I personally wouldn’t ask for them but if guests ask where you are registered or as what they should get you for a gift you may tell them gifts are not required but if they would like to get you a gift you are registered at ________.
Post # 3
Thanks so much kelmpm7809! I definitely agree.. I feel uncomfortable even discussing it, I just found it strange as the three we’ve been to have popped it on their invitations!
We didn’t care as they were all good friends/family.. but still!
But that’s a good idea for the registry, wasn’t sure if people left them for weddings? But not a bad idea for smaller gift ideas 🙂
Thanks again 🙂
Post # 4
My parents threw an engagement party for us and we did not mention gifts anywhere at all. We registered for a few small items on Amazon in case anyone asked, but no one did and we didn’t expect them to. We got a lot of bottles of champagne which was perfectly fine by me because I love champs! We also got some miscellaneous kitchen items people picked themselves that we did not need, but we didn’t really care because we weren’t in it for the gifts anyway!
I think you have the right attitude about it. Don’t put it on the invitations and enjoy celebrating with your friends and family!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2016 - Sassafraz in Toronto, Ontario
It sounds like engagement gifts are normal in your area. They aren’t in mine. Engagement parties tend to be small affairs to celebrate together, but gifts are saved for showers or weddings.
I’d skip mentioning a registry on the invite if you are uncomfortable. As PP mentioned, a registry wouldn’t hurt. You could say that you are registered for the wedding at XYZ. That way they can choose if they want to bring you a gift now, later, or both.
Post # 6
Where I’m from, engagement parties are the norm and most people will bring gifts although they are considered optional. We didn’t put any mention of gifts on our invitations. If anyone wanted to get us something, they either contacted our immediate family (whom were told that, if people must get us something, we would appreciate money to put towards a few larger purchases, such as a new outdoor dining setting) or us directly. Most people gifted cash, even if they didn’t get in touch with someone, although we did receive some other lovely gifts (including new towels, a gorgeous vase, a salad bowl and servers, wine, and some experience vouchers). If you are registered somewhere, then I’d just let your immediate family and bridal party know then let it spread by word of mouth.
Post # 7
My bff/moh threw us an engagement party but we requested no gifts. We have a pretty small circle anyway and it was just closest friends and family who just wanted to have a good time! Two moms DID get us something though because, moms haha.
Post # 8
Where I’m from theyre not typically gifting parties. Some people will bring bubbly or something. As with any party requesting/mentioning gifts on the invite, or treating it like a fundraiser with a “wishing well” is beyond tacky IMO. The point is just to celebrate and have the two circles meet, not to solicit gifts!
Post # 9
It depends where you are. In the US, and in my social circle, it’s incredibly rude to have any mention of gifts. The “wishing well” with the cutesy poem makes me cringe, too.
Post # 10
We are planning our own engagement party as well and definitely not expecting gifts. If you want to avoid your guests from feeling obligated to bring a gift, just make sure you tell everyone by word of mouth that you don’t expect a gift and just come to have a good time! We are telling this mostly to family members who have already given us gifts so they don’t feel like they need to give us another one.
My best friend had hers 2 years ago (the only engagement party I’ve been to so far) and I bought them a nice bottle of wine and a gift because I wanted to, not because they expected it. I did notice others brought gifts as well. IMO it is at the discretion of each guest.
Also I would def not mention where you are registered at to guests, as someone posted previously. By giving this info to someone while at the same time telling them you don’t expect a gift, he/she may feel that they need to now get you something off your registry. Registry is mainly for the bridal shower, I believe.