(Closed) Engagement party guests! Too many!! (slight vent)

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

We’re just going to do long-time/really close family friends, family, and bridal party. Our total is at about 75. Bigger than I want, but I can’t really take it down any more.

Post # 5
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

How formal is the party going to be?

Post # 7
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Well, mine is slightly different scenario since my Future Mother-In-Law is throwing us an engagement party in Miami (where FH is from) so they are inviting a lot of people not invited to the wedding…I think the invite list is close to 100, but not all will be invited to the wedding, I think Future Mother-In-Law is using “the wedding’s going to be in upstate ny” as the excuse to invite people to the engagement party who aren’t invited to the wedding…But I think as long as you spread the word that the wedding is going to be small, people will understand and just enjoy being invited to the e-party…

Post # 9
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

Hm, since it’s beer-pong informal, I say tack on whoever you want. We’re having a fairly formal night/cocktail party engagement party being thrown by family friends. I can’t add on numbers, or well, I’d feel bad doing it, because the per-person cost is already at $75/person with alcohol.

Edit: Typed without instead of with alcohol. :p

Post # 11
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If I were in your shoes, I’d give in to the party for now — BUT I would warn Mom and Future Mother-In-Law and anyone else inviting folks without your GENUINE approval that just because they are inviting these people to the engagement party does NOT mean they will be invited to the wedding. And then stick to your guns about it. Give each mom x number of seats for the guest list, outside family, and tell them that you just can’t accomodate more than that. Since they did the party inviting, they can do the damage control.

Post # 12
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would also make sure that your mom and Future Mother-In-Law are spreading the words that this is a NO GIFTS party. I think that makes it far less of a big deal if you don’t invite people to the wedding. Then when they all start asking about plans say that nothing is finalized, but that you’re planning to have a small, intimate affair and you’re just SO grateful to your mom/fmil for throwing this engagement party so that you can celebrate with EVERYONE you love. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I should also say– as annoying as it seems ot be for people who have these huge groups of people at these events… I think its kind of cool that you have so many people who love you! I couldn’t even think of 100 people who live locally to come to an engagement party!

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