(Closed) Engagement Party Invitation Wording–Please help!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
606 posts
Busy bee

kcoast:  I am actually fairly certain etiquette is NOT to state anything that sounds like you are rejecting others’ generosity. However, etiquette also states you are not to open any gifts that are given at an engagement that does not require gifts at said engagement (in short open when you get home).

If you want to put it on there, as your father requested. I would put the ever so light hearted saying, that I totally love: “Your presence is our presents.” 

People will get the hint with that saying but you aren’t flat out rejecting generosity. 🙂 

Congratulations!!! I am sure the party will be wonderful and one to remember. 

Post # 4
Member
2658 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We didn’t say anything about gifts on our engagement party invites and we certainly weren’t expecting them either. Probably about two-thirds of the guests gave us a gift (anything from cash and vouchers to towels and a gorgeous vase), whilst the remaining third didn’t. We didn’t see anything wrong with this and were incredibly gracious to those people who did gift us something (we sent out thank you cards, too).

At my mother’s 50th a few years ago, she specifically asked us to include a note about no gifts on the invites (I think we wrote something like “your presence is your present”). Most guests brought a gift anyway.

What I think you’ll find is that some guests will bring a gift no matter what, whereas others are quite happy to forego gifts if requested or don’t see certain events (such as engagement parties) as gift giving occasions. So, even if you do request no gifts, don’t be surprised if some people still get you something.

Post # 6
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2016

This reminds me, I need to work on my engagement invitation design and post them out on paperlesspost! *panic*

kcoast:  Hope you have a wonderful party 🙂

Post # 7
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

People will do what they want no matter what you put. Personally i would push back on Dad as I wouldn’t want any mention of gifts on an invite, but if they’re paying than I guess you might think it’s easier to just do what he says 

Post # 9
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee

Traditional engagement parties are held before the engagement has been officially announced, and don’t include any reference to the engagement on the invitation. Instead, the invitation reads like a “just because” invitation, such as you might send out for any ordinary party. When done that way, there is no need to state “no gifts” because no-one sees any reason for gifts to be given. In this scenario, the party is used as an excuse to gather your friends all together, so that you can announce the engagement to them during an appropriate pause in the festivities.

Even if some of your friends already know you are engaged, wording the invitation without making reference to your engagement will prevent them from thinking of gifts.

Post # 11
Member
606 posts
Busy bee

kcoast:  I think he is being weird about it, I think most people know it’s not expected at an engagement party. I hope! 🙂 

 

Post # 12
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I would just leave anything abotu gifts off. All the engagement parties I’ve been to have not been gift giving, maybe a bottle of champagne for them to ‘celebrate’ with, but certainly no brought towels. I think that’s weird lol.

Post # 14
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We used these! 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/270151868/summer-night-engagement-invitation-and?ref=shop_home_active_11

 

I really like the very simple wording. People asked us if they are supposed to bring a gift, or if we were registered. I always told them “you are not required to bring a gift. We are happy to have you there without.” also all still insisting on our registry or gave us cash. 

Post # 15
Member
1378 posts
Bumble bee

kcoast:  We said something like, “We ask for no presents, just your presence.” Of course, people brough champaigne, cards and some lovely orchids anyways 

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