(Closed) Engagement party invites…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think you can host an event without paying for it. If you send out invitations its basically stating that you are hosting the event, which implies you are paying for it. I don’t think there is any way to send out an invitation telling people to pay for their own meals without looking rude. Sorry :/

Post # 4
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@CupcakeLove:  There is no polite way to do this.

If you are inviting someone to celebrate YOU, you really must host them. If you cannot afford to host a party, then you do not.  You could mention that your Fiance and you will be having dinner at X place on Y date, and that if anyone wants to join they are welcome to.  But you also wouldn’t send out formal invites.

It is also not polite to mention gifts (even no gifts) on an invitation.  It can appear that gifts were required but since you are soooooo gracious, you are letting guests off the hook. 


Post # 5
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Can you do something other than a dinner?  We did an afternoon at a winery for our engagement party and the invite said something like ” we’d love to see everyone at the vineyard next week! The view is fabulous so feel free to pack apicnic and enjoy the afternoon “. Or just reserve a back room of a bar and host a little cocktail party there where you can say we’d live you to bring an appetizer to share and the rest is on us!     Having a dinner is hard to be polite and still pass the bill to them 

Post # 7
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@CupcakeLove:  Yeah there definitely are different expectations in Australia!

My partner & I hosted our engagement party in the function room of a nice pub – we paid for platters of nibblies but people bought their own drinks. We asked for no gifts – but most people brought something anyway.

I like your “The cost of dinner will be $25 per head, but all drinks will be provided” statement. I wouldn’t explicitly saying anything about gifts – people will ask what you want, you can just say something like “nothing, your presence is enough”

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