(Closed) engagement party – is it a must?

posted 11 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

None of the things you mentioned are a “must”. 

Post # 3
Member
6061 posts
Bee Keeper

Of course not. As  zzar45 :  said, all of those are optional. To get married, all you need is a willing spouse and government approval, and like $100. 

Post # 4
Member
7865 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Def not a must! I had a pretty traditional engagement period and wedding, with a bridal shower, bachelorette, rehearsal dinner, fairly large wedding and a day-after brunch, but we didn’t do an engagement party. 

Post # 5
Member
2020 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

You do not throw an engagement party for yourself. Someone throws it for you. 

So no, you don’t have to have one. We didn’t host a large rehearsal dinner, we didn’t do a thank you brunch. We had a small wedding. 

All of things are an option. They are either thrown for you, or you cut them down or host what you can afford. 

Post # 6
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: St. petersburg, FL

My Fiance and I were engaged in March, and haven’t done a darn thing since (besides plan our wedding, lol). Most of my friends are not local, and his friends/family live about 2 hours away. We skipped the engagement party (even though his mom is peeved because we don’t have any interest in one and she’s chomping at the bit to plan one) and TBH I don’t feel like I am missing out at all. 

I really don’t think I will agree to a bridal shower, either, and having a bachelorette party for me is not something I am interested in. He will have his bachelor party for sure, but my friends and I are more introverted anyway aka would love to drink wine and veg on the couch rather than go buckwild in Vegas. 

In the end, it’s what you want. I don’t feel like i’m missing out by not having these parties, because it’s not what i’m interested in. 

Also to add – we’re having a destination wedding anyway, so I also feel guilty about asking my friends to spend so much time/money on parties that aren’t important to me as long as they come to the wedding! 🙂

In the end, it’s about what you want. It’s 2018, so I feel like the “rules” are really thrown out the window, and it’s different for everyone what they “must” or want to have. Good luck, bee!

 

Post # 7
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 2019

We just had a small engagement party last weekend with only immediate family and our wedding party and it was the best night of my life! Had so much fun in my FMILs back yard. Wine, beer, apps music and yard games. It was great! It really made out engagement feel super real. 

Post # 8
Member
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

MrsWiggles :  You do not throw an engagement party for yourself. Someone throws it for you. 

In a huge number of regions and countries it is absolutely normal for the couple to throw their own engagement party, no need to force your opinions on other people. 

Post # 9
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

We didnt have one, some of my friends have them, some don’t. 

Post # 10
Member
6315 posts
Bee Keeper

You don’t have to have a single party to be married. 

Post # 11
Member
2020 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

zzar45 :  I didn’t force anything. I told her how it normally works. Much of my wedding research, planning my wedding, and weddings I have been to, you do not throw your own gift giving events. It’s rude in many circles. 

But thank you for twisting my words. 

Post # 12
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I didn’t have one and literally nobody I know has had one. It’s definitely not a must.

Post # 13
Member
406 posts
Helper bee

Definitely not a must. In fact I can’t think of anyone I know personally that had one.

Post # 14
Member
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

MrsWiggles : I told her how it normally works.

I didn’t twist your words at all, it’s how it normally works for you that doesn’t mean it’s a rule everywhere. It’s also not rude in many circles. Let people do things their own way. 

Post # 15
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I’ve never been to an engagement party and am not interested in having one myself. I’ve been to rehearsal dinners and day-after brunches, but I’m honestly not interested in those either, so my parents/in-laws will have to be the ones to propose them if they want them. 

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