(Closed) engagement party – is it a must?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 31
1004 posts
Bumble bee

Not necessary and not very common from my experience. I had an engagement party, and lots of my husband’s friends were confused as to what it was.  They kept asking, “Is this a wedding before the wedding?” 

 These same friends thought we looked like real estate agents on our save the date.  Full of jokes.

Post # 32
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

As other’s stated, it is not required in any way. 

Post # 33
7557 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
MrsWiggles :  I am absolutely considering your side…I acknowledged in my post that in your circle it might be considered rude, which is fair enough. That’s the whole point, different folks, different strokes…but rather than acknowledging regional differences you doubled down and insisted that you’ve done your “research” – whatever the hell that means – and that “it’s rude.”

Post # 34
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

No one I know has had one, so nope.

Post # 35
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Definitely not necessary! We had one and have attended one but not everyone has one. Skip it to save money! I feel guilty looking back that a few people like my bridesmaids attended so many pre wedding events.

Post # 36
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
tiffanybruiser :  Okay, you’re right. I did make a blanket statement. I thought I put “in my circles” which implies many don’t like it and find it improper. That is on me. 

What I meant by research, I read books, forums, talked to others from all kinds of walks of life, looked up what others had done, where customs started about all kinds of wedding related things to ensure I did the best I could to be as best of a host as I could be. 

Post # 37
2145 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

No, it’s not necesssary. I love the whole wedding process and the extra little parties, etc. you can have, but an engagement party just seemed too much on top of everything else (like how many events are people going to be invited to celebrating your union? Lol). A few friends threw me a bachlorette. We are hosting a welcome party at a bar the night before and a brunch the day after. That seemed like plenty to me.

Post # 38
2230 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

My Fiance’s uncle offered to throw us an engagement party, but we declined. We were getting engaged and married within 7months so, with all the showers, bach parties, etc. we didn’t want to add another party onto our wedding. We thanked him profusely, but in the end it just wasn’t right for us! 

Post # 39
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

We did not have one, but we did have a small dinner out with our parents and siblings. It was nothing fancy and was moreso a way for the two families to get to know each other (they hadn’t met before due to distance). An engagement part in the traditional sense is definitely not a must and I don’t regret not having one!

Post # 40
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I think it depends on where you’re from.

Where I am in Australia an Engagemnet party is the norm (no event is a ‘must’). This is nearly always hosted by the couple and it is definitely a gift giving event. Most I’ve been to are fairly low key though – like a backyard barbeque or house party.

Post # 41
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I don’t want one; we didn’t have one! 🙂 

Edited to add: I’m from Australia like PP but we felt no pressure whatsoever to have one ourselves.

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