(Closed) Engagement Party or Post-Wedding Party to include those not invited to wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Pre or Post-Wedding Celebration to include "B-list" guests not invited to Memorial Day 2010 wedding?
    "Engagement Party" a few months prior to the wedding (sometime between now and March) : (0 votes)
    Pre-wedding celebration, called something other than an "Engagement Party" : (4 votes)
    50 %
    Post-Wedding Celebration shortly after wedding (within 6 weeks) : (2 votes)
    25 %
    Post-Wedding Celebration at least 4-5 months after the wedding : (2 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Gosh, that’s tough!  I’m confused for you!  I know that you can’t invite people to what you’d call an “engagement party” without inviting them to the wedding so you can’t quite call it that.  And I think if they ever found out they were the B list that would be bad.  I’m not really sure what I would do in this situation because you have to accept the generousity of your Future Mother-In-Law but you don’t want to overburden yourself with worries.  Hmmmm….

    I’d say, if they want to throw this party, leave it up to them.  If you’re close to your future in-laws, express to them your concerns and see what they want to do.  Afterall, this is mostly their peeps.  And from there, you can’t worry about a thing.  Also, I do think you should have this party a few months before the wedding, but that’s just my opinion.  I know it doesn’t seem right to you but I don’t really see a different solution.  Maybe you can consider the party a joint shower, like a “jack and jill”?  It’s not my thing but I’ve been to them and they’re fun just the same.  Basically I agree, the wedding is the PEAK, so it should be all over after that.  But again, speak to the family and see how they feel. 

    Yikes, I was no help but that’s a tough one to figure out!

    Post # 4
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    You definitely definitely can’t invite anyone to your engagement party that will not be invited to the actual wedding. I think you should have the big party maybe a month or so after you’re married. Give yourself some time to just chill after the wedding itself. If I’m understanding you, you are throwing your wedding and your parents are throwing the big party? If that’s the case then I wouldn’t worry about the party being construed as the “real” reception because in essence it sounds like it’s a party your parents are throwing for their “extras” and not as much for you and your Fiance as your actual wedding will be since you have final say on the guest list because you’re paying. Did that make any sense? I guess my main point is that you can’t throw any sort of party like that before the wedding because people will assume an invite. I know I would.

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