(Closed) Engagement Party Situation

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

You can be pretty sure that some people will not make it.  I think the old rule is 20% of the invited total will send regrets…so that would be 12 people for you, right?  That would more than cover you.  But even if they all show up since a good number of them are children there is a pretty good chance the food will be enough.

The one concern I would have is since the venue thinks 60 are coming will they put out only 60 plates? That would be embarassing so you may want to follow up with them.

I wish you the best…maybe that would be 6 guests declining to attend?  Good luck!

Post # 4
2 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

i wouldnt worry too much about it. Its not a big deal, its just your engagement party, not your wedding. just make sure that when it comes down to more serious planning on behalf of the wedding that your mother doesnt pull this same situation. And the kids are probably not going to eat that much… i work with kids and they really dont eat that much…. good luck. and congrats

Post # 5
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I would definitely not worry about it! I like that you’re bringing cake, and if you’re really worried, maybe you can bring additional desserts too that won’t break the bank?  Everyone loves sweets!

Post # 6
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

What I would worry about much more than this, is that your Mom is now going to invite her friends to your wedding, like it or not, because its bad etiquette to invite people to the engagement but not the wedding.  I would start asserting yourself now to your mother and remind her it is your day first and foremost, otherwise it seems like she might overwhelm you.

Post # 7
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You will be fine. When you do a buffet the venue always provides more food per head than what each person will likely eat. Some people have healthier appetites and some don’t each much in general so it will likely work out. Make it known there will be cake or have it out for people to see and there are some that will make sure to leave room for dessert therefore keeping their take of the buffet minimal. And as you said – probably not everyone will be able to make it.

Post # 9
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Have fun at your engagement party. We are having ours tomorrow!  My friend is hosting it in her backyard with a pool! So nice to cool off in the pool in the Texas heat! Don’t worry with the numbers at the party. Some people may say they are coming and then something last minute comes up. Plus most places will make a tad bit more food then the number you gave them.  They don’t want to run out just like you because it makes them look just as bad.  So hopefully it will all balance out!

 Have fun!

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