Post # 1
Here’s the situation: our engagement party is coming up, I will be the only one speaking – everyone else has stage fright including FW, apparently. I have written a 5 minute speech, which should suffice.
I have 2 brothers and each of them are married. One of the brothers (and his wife) have been generous enough to host the party at their house.
Now my problem is that, in thanking the hosts for having the party (“Oldest Brother” and “Oldest Sister-in-Law”), I will be touching briefly on what they mean to me as my brother and sister-in-law. I think that’s appropriate.
But in so doing, I would be leaving out my “Other Brother” and “Other Sister-in-Law.” Is that disrespectful?
I mean, they aren’t the ones hosting so on the one hand it seems OK. On the other hand, it would pain me to speak such praise of one couple and not even acknowledge the other. Another concern: I don’t want to give FW’s family the idea that I’m listing off my entire family and ignoring their family.
So here is a segment from my speech:
[One paragraph about [Oldest Brother] and [Oldest Sister in Law] here, listing their children and thanking them as well (my nieces and nephews. Then continues as follows:]
“For as long as I can remember [Oldest Brother] and [Oldest Sister in Law] have wanted a large family – and they have it. And what a fitting testimony to their love and their generosity of spirit. So to you [Oldest Brother], and to [Other Brother] – it is an honor to call you my brothers. And to you [Oldest Sister in Law], and to [Other Sister in Law] – it is a privilege to call you my sisters. Thank you again for opening your home to all of us.”
Do you think that’s alright? Am I going about this wrong? I feel very conflicted. Thanks.
Post # 3
Is there any way to generally acknowledge both families and how important they are to you? It’s a really sweet idea, but when you start to list family members by name, there is definitely tons of space for hurt feelings, and I know that’s the last thing you want to do.
Post # 4
@Gemstone: Well, maybe it would help if I give you the entire speech format, so you can see what’s going on with family members.
Opening: 30 seconds [joke]
Thanking hosts: Oldest brother and sister-in-law (but also other brother/SIL?) 2 paragraphs. About 1.5-2 minutes.
Thanking parents: A thank you to both sets of parents for supporting us, including a small joke and a very sweet compliment that includes them both. About 1.5-2 minutes.
Thanking everyone: A poetic general thank you for everyone in attendance, Bridal party is mentioned, but no specific names. Applies to all family/friends. About 1 minute.
What do you think? I get the idea of not leaving anyone out but FW kinda has me backed into a corner with this one – There will be 50 people or more in attendance, I only have 5 minutes to do it and she’s not going to speak so not help there. If I tried to thank everyone by name it would be just a long list of names and I don’t see the point in that.
Post # 5
@Sheepshead: With respect, I completely disagree. This is the only speech that there will be. FW & I have determined that this is an appropriate amount of time. Have our attention spans really degraded to such a point where a single 5 minute address is a “long time”? It’s slighltly longer than a single pop song. I don’t mean to sound harsh but if people can’t honor that, they don’t deserve to be invited!
As to the comment about not mentioning specific names, you wouldn’t thank the hosts????