Post # 1
Hi everyone! So my fiance and I decided we wanted to have a small engagement party with just our friends. He planned it all out with his best friend. They booked a boat to go wakesurfing off the back of all day with his friends. I do not do water sports at all and I hate boats. Everything was all booked before I was told, and was never asked what I thought would be a good idea for our party. Since it was a last minute choice, none of my 2 friends can go, only his 8 friends that i am not close at all to. And they already booked it so we can’t go when i can have a good time wiith my friends too. I’m doing my best to be reasonable and not get upset over little things, but I just feel like someone should have taken the bride-to-be’s opinion into accont before planning an engagement party that she wont enjoy or have any friends at. Is it reasonable to be upset about this? Any advice on what I should do?
Post # 2
At that point, I’d let him have his fun guys day with his friends (on his dime) and plan an engagement party another day. I don’t blame you for being annoyed about everything being planned and booked without consulting you. Especially if you are helping to pay for this.
Post # 3
khaleesi22 : Weird that they wouldn’t include you in the planning, this sounds like more of a guys day out rather than an engagement party.
This might be a good opportunity to get to know his friends more? You say you hate boats though, so if you hate them so much you can’t suck it up for a day I’d skip it and plan something else where your friends and family (if possible) can come and celebrate the both of you.
Post # 4
I would let him have that day as a dudes day and then do an actual party another day. Or better yet, have a spa day with your girls.
Post # 5
What you’re describing is not an engagement party. It’s a guy’s hang out, could even work as a bachelor party. I agree with PP – let him have his day, on his dime. And then plan an actual engagement party together, for both your friends (and even family?) later.
Post # 6
I would definitely be annoyed by this. An underlying issue is why your fiancé would book something that was supposed to be for the two of you without consulting you first. Did he not know that you wouldn’t like a day like this? You say it was last minute but he had a chance to check with his 8 friends but not you or your friends. This was a pretty selfish move, imo.
Agree with PPs – let them have their day. Plan something else to celebrate your engagement.
Post # 7
I agree it is more of a guys day. When i expressed my concerns, I was told I could stay home instead. Which normally would be fine, but we are moving across country in about a week so this is our last engagement party chance. No chance for a do-over party unless we fork over the money to fly back.
I do like his friends and we have had quite a few gatherings with them, we just have nothing in common so never striked up a great friendship with anyone. And with all the seats full, I need to uninvite my friends to the party since there is no space left.
Sorry if i seem like I’m venting! Between moving and wedding planning, the stress has gotten to me!
Post # 8
Personally I would just tell fi I’d rather go do something else and do that instead even if it just means hanging out at home in your pjs reading weddingbee. lol
Post # 9
It’s not a party that involves or interests you, so don’t go (and certainly don’t pay). And think again about marrying someone who is so self-involved that he organizes an “engagement” partry without consulting you at all and doing something you loathe.
Post # 10
So, wait, let me get this straight: Your SO and you *agreed* to have an *engagement* party – you know, an event that is meant to celebrate two people (not 1) – and your SO planned this party without your input and made it so *none* of your friend’s can attend by filling up the space on the boat with all of his friends, and now that you’ve complained that you aren’t thrilled that a party that is meant to celebrate both of you won’t involve any of your friends and is an activity you don’t like, he’s told you that you don’t have to come?
How is any of that ok? If I was in your place, I’d be livid that my SO would think I was so stupid not to see what’s really going on (having a boys day out instead of a legit couples/engagement/us event).
Post # 11
Yeah, that’s not an engagement party. It’s not even a party? It’s a boy’s day out. Why don’t you plan an actual party for another time?
Post # 12
It doesn’t sound like your Fiance takes your likes or dislikes, or even your opinions into consideration. And then when you tell him about your (understandable) disappointment he tells you you don’t have to come? It sounds like you aren’t a priority to him at all. Is he like this in other ways?
Post # 13
If you were moving right after your friends probably wouldn’t be able to have made it to a regular party if they were busy anyway. It sounds like a last min boys day, def not an engagement party. If you want one, plan one for after the boat day, or maybe before. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re moving in a week and your friends are already busy.
Post # 14
I think you have bigger issues than a party.
Post # 15
Well, generally parties in honor of you are thrown for you by other people. People generally don’t throw their own engagement parties.
Also, engagement parties are optional.
At this point, I would give up the notion of an “engagement party”. He clearly just wants to hang with his friends. You are about to move away from your friends. Schedule something with your own friends when it is convenient for you and have a drink to celebrate the engagement while you are out. Not everything has to revolve around your engagement or wedding or be a formal party in order to have a good time and celebrate it.