Engagement Party Troubles

posted 4 months ago in Parties
Post # 2
1330 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

At that point, I’d let him have his fun guys day with his friends (on his dime) and plan an engagement party another day. I don’t blame you for being annoyed about everything being planned and booked without consulting you. Especially if you are helping to pay for this.

Post # 3
1907 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

khaleesi22 :  Weird that they wouldn’t include you in the planning, this sounds like more of a guys day out rather than an engagement party. 

This might be a good opportunity to get to know his friends more? You say you hate boats though, so if you hate them so much you can’t suck it up for a day I’d skip it and plan something else where your friends and family (if possible) can come and celebrate the both of you. 

Post # 4
1327 posts
Bumble bee

I would let him have that day as a dudes day and then do an actual party another day.  Or better yet, have a spa day with your girls.

Post # 5
1632 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

What you’re describing is not an engagement party. It’s a guy’s hang out, could even work as a bachelor party. I agree with PP – let him have his day, on his dime. And then plan an actual engagement party together, for both your friends (and even family?) later. 

Post # 6
733 posts
Busy bee

I would definitely be annoyed by this. An underlying issue is why your fiancé would book something that was supposed to be for the two of you without consulting you first. Did he not know that you wouldn’t like a day like this? You say it was last minute but he had a chance to check with his 8 friends but not you or your friends. This was a pretty selfish move, imo.

Agree with PPs – let them have their day. Plan something else to celebrate your engagement.

Post # 8
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Personally I would just tell fi I’d rather go do something else and do that instead even if it just means hanging out at home in your pjs reading weddingbee. lol 

Post # 9
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

It’s not a party that involves or interests you, so don’t go (and certainly don’t pay). And think again about marrying someone who is so self-involved that he organizes an “engagement” partry without consulting you at all and doing something you loathe.

Post # 10
751 posts
Busy bee

So, wait, let me get this straight: Your SO and you *agreed* to have an *engagement* party – you know, an event that is meant to celebrate two people (not 1) – and your SO planned this party without your input and made it so *none* of your friend’s can attend by filling up the space on the boat with all of his friends, and now that you’ve complained that you aren’t thrilled that a party that is meant to celebrate both of you won’t involve any of your friends and is an activity you don’t like, he’s told you that you don’t have to come?

How is any of that ok? If I was in your place, I’d be livid that my SO would think I was so stupid not to see what’s really going on (having a boys day out instead of a legit couples/engagement/us event). 

Post # 11
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Yeah, that’s not an engagement party. It’s not even a party? It’s a boy’s day out.  Why don’t you plan an actual party for another time?

Post # 12
5656 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

It doesn’t sound like your Fiance takes your likes or dislikes, or even your opinions into consideration. And then when you tell him about your (understandable) disappointment he tells you you don’t have to come? It sounds like you aren’t a priority to him at all. Is he like this in other ways? 

Post # 13
5313 posts
Bee Keeper

If you were moving right after your friends probably wouldn’t be able to have made it to a regular party if they were busy anyway. It sounds like a last min boys day, def not an engagement party. If you want one, plan one for after the boat day, or maybe before. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re moving in a week and your friends are already busy. 

Post # 14
8845 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think you have bigger issues than a party.


Post # 15
3621 posts
Sugar bee

Well, generally parties in honor of you are thrown for you by other people.  People generally don’t throw their own engagement parties.

Also, engagement parties are optional.

At this point, I would give up the notion of an “engagement party”.  He clearly just wants to hang with his friends.  You are about to move away from your friends.  Schedule something with your own friends when it is convenient for you and have a drink to celebrate the engagement while you are out.  Not everything has to revolve around your engagement or wedding or be a formal party in order to have a good time and celebrate it.

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