(Closed) Engagement Party…so many questions!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@soon2beMrsMills:  Congrats on your recent engagement!  I don’t know that there is really a timeline for engagement parties or specific guidelines as to whom should throw/organize the celebration.  However, I would think it would be a family member or close friend.  My hubby and I were engaged in May and our engagement party took place in July.  His parents threw the party for us, along with his brother and fiance’ since they became engaged around the same time.  I don’t know that I’d ask or expect a party though.  Have fun with the planning process! 

Post # 4
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

It’s not too late at all. You can throw it but usually parents throw it. If you feel bad about asking mom do you have a sibling who can host it? You know pretend she threw it, but really just helped you LOL We sent our STD’s and engagements together so I say yes you can send them together.

Post # 5
3011 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

J and I got engaged December as well.  Our wedding isn’t until October 2012.  I just sent out invitations for our engagement BBQ on July 16th.  His parents are throwing it, but I’ll probably do most of the prep and cooking.  Totally fine with me.  Anyways, we waited until July because we wanted to be able to use the pool and have everyone sit outside if they’d like to.  We’re excited about it.  I say go for it.

Post # 6
14 posts

Here are some of my thoughts on your questions.  It may not be the perfect answer, but from what I’ve read elsewhere and from planning my own…


Who throws the engagement party?Traditionally, it’s the bride’s parents or family; but almost anyone can throw it – close friends, extended family, even the couple if family and friends are unable to throw one.

We just got engaged in December and getting married Aug 2012, is it too late to have a party?Most engagement parties take place right after the engagement, usually one to four months after the engagement-and usually not less than six months before the wedding.

My parents will be contributing a lot to the wedding (separately) and my mom is getting remarried this november, so I don’t want to ask them to throw the party… Do you ask someone to throw you the party?If someone offers to throw the party, graciously accept if you want.  If no one offers it, throw your own or don’t have one.  It’s not something every couple has to have. 

Can we just throw it our selves?Yes, but you have to pay for it and plan it yourselves. The host(s) cover the cost, not the guests.

Can we send Save-the-Dates and engagement party invites together???Yes, you can.  You can also hand the STD cards at your engagement party.  STD cards can be sent out 6 to 7 months before the wedding date.  If you send them out too soon, people may just put them aside and forget about it.

Post # 7
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011


I think it should be fine to send them together.

Post # 8
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012


I don’t think you can ask  people to throw you the party, but you can throw yourselves one. And it’s definitely not too late, we got engaged in Dec as well and are getting married June 2012, and our party is tomorrow! So you might as well take advantage of summer.

I wouldn’t send the invites together with the Save-The-Date Cards, I think it will confuse people. Send the invites and then do the Save-The-Date Cards like a month later.

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