Post # 61
I think some waiting Bees latch on to Mr Bee’s plan to have some kind of control over their futures, to DO something they feel is productive towards either getting a proposal or at minimum improving their own lives. These Bees don’t feel comfortable talking about proposals with their SO, which boggles my mind because if you’re intimate then you’re allowing him inside your body but won’t discuss this ‘sensative’ topic? Kinda silly.
You don’t seem to want to do either Mr Bee’s plan or discussing it. It’s like you think you’re Tinker Bell, just flitting around, making nice, hoping he catches you.
None of the Bees responding have told you to follow that plan. You think it’s silly, we think it’s silly (because you should be doing some of those things anyway as a strong independent woman not to just catch a husband) so why do you keep bringing it up?
Dont marry someone you can’t even talk to about EVERY topic- because he’s either not the man for you or you’re not mature enough to get married.
Post # 62
Supernurse : I mentioned a million times that I want to marry him (not in a bubbly casual sort of way) and he did the same thing (said it more times and more often especially in the last couple months) As I mentioned in the comments section I only started worrying when we passed a 3 year mark which happened very recently. Up until recently I was just enjoying our relationship and didn’t worry about getting a proposal fast like some bees here. He knows I never wanted a big weeding (we want to elope) but a very special proposal.
Something about a 3 year mark changed things, I went online (damn you Google))) and found this forum. Depending on your “luck” you get polar opposite advice. I’ve seen all sorts of threads – in some of them, Mr Bee’s plan is the holy grail, in others people share similar experiences and recomment to wait it out, after I created mine most people recmommended me to talk to the guy which I said I did and appreciate the advice (!). Again, I created this post to share my story, get feedback but most importantly to rant. I explained as to why I have had issues discussing it and if you read my reasons (anxiety, first serious relationship, different culture) you should be more understanding and not call names like Tinker Bell and all that. Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe because my love life has been so perfect till now (eg. I always dated men who respected me, met the love of my life pretty early, no broken hearts or anything….this made me believe it will be perfect and smooth as it has always been but now I realize I have to put more work in my relationship and state what I want. I just need to find what works for me and my relationship. 🙂