Post # 1
So bees I have been struggling with the idea that it might be “silly” to get engaged this winter because we are planning on having a very small wedding this summer (just us, his son and my two kids and potentially my parents) and I have always thought that you get engaged primarily to plan the wedding and to announce to people that a wedding is in the works. Our wedding will be planned very quickly and no one will be invited so it just seems strange to announce that we are engaged in December or January and then that we are married in June or July.
I feel like we should just wait and announce that we are married after the fact. I think I will get sick of explaining to people that we aren’t really having a big wedding after we get engaged. SO is really hung up on the idea of a really memorable proposal though so I guess I should just let him have that and deal with the fall out from my extended family who will be disappointed that we aren’t having a big wedding. I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing!
Any bees who have been engaged and then had a intimate wedding soon after care to weigh in?
Post # 3
I know a lot of people who have done that. My best friend got engaged in December and married in July. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it.
Post # 4
@arsing89: Thanks! I’m glad it doesn’t seem strange from your perspective. It’s hard to know how it looks from the outside in, I’m too close to the situation. I think I am just going to have to suck it up and deal with the questions from family and friends about not having a big wedding. Most people know that I really wanted that and now that we have downgraded they wilil all want to know why. Gotta love family :o)
Post # 5
@impatientlywaiting20: At the end of the day, it is YOUR wedding. Don’t let the thoughts and opinions of other people deter you from what you and your soon to be Fiance really want.
Post # 6
Forget about other people. It’s not their marriage, their wedding, none of that. If they get upset, BOO HOO for them. They’ll get over it.
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s strange or silly. Let him propose the way he wants and other people will deal! I should be engaged by the end of the year and we are having an intimate 20-25 guests wedding in June.
Post # 8
I think that the engagement is primarily symbolic, so I think it’s a nice gesture if you both have talked about having a formal engagement. Many many people get engaged, and within six months get married. Heck, I have at least 10 friends who did, and my future SIL did, too — engaged in January, married in July. I think your families might appreciate the heads up, so announcing an engagement would tell them that yes, you are officially planning to marry.
Post # 9
I don’t think it is silly to be engaged just as you have a smaller wedding planned, and I also don’t think you should worry what others thing about it.
We got engaged in early-mid October and were married about 2 1/2 months later, in a very small, casual and intimate ceremony. No one ever gave us any hassle about not having a big wedding or anything of that sort (indeed, usually we had people quite excited for our plans even if it meant they were not invited).
However, if you don’t want to announce anything until after you are married, that is fine too! There were definitely a few people in our lives who did not find out until after we were married as they just were not close enough to us or in our lives enough. We really did not get any flack for it. Even my own dad (who I was not terribly close to at the time) found out after the fact, was quite congragulatory and did not mind not having known or been there.
Post # 10
I wiould announce your engagement, it’s something to celebrate.
Post # 11
We’re planning on having a small wedding (max 20 people) and we’re getting engaged. I think it’s a great reason to celebrate regardless of how many people are coming to the wedding!
Post # 12
Get engaged, announce it (and show off the bling!!:) and have the wedding YOU want, the way YOU feel about it. Engagement is such a happy event that you shouldn’t “skip” it just because of what other people might think or expect.
Post # 13
It’s whatever you want. I was engaged for 5 months before our “semi-small” wedding. We only really let the people that we were going to invite know, aka, no Facebook posting, etc.