(Closed) Engagement Ring at Interview with All Male Office

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I would wear it but not be flashy about it. If they ask you about it, explain that you’re engaged, etc.

Good luck with your interview!

Post # 4
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I work with all men, and in spite of the fact that my e-ring is over 2.5 ct total weight, with a yellow diamond as a center stone, it took over two weeks for my co-workers to notice it.  And actually, I finally had to pull my OFFICE MATE aside and practically stuff the ring down his throat, because I had had it by then – the grocery clerk had noticed, the librarian had noticed, my next door neighbor had noticed (all women, BTW).  I had decided that I wasn’t going to *announce* my engagement at work, but was dying for someone to notice so that I could say something.  The moral of the story is, I think, that guys just don’t notice things the way that women do.  I would go ahead and wear your ring.

And your point about single women in the workplace is well taken, especially if there is any travel or any late hours involved with your job. I work with men who have told me that their wives are way more comfortable with the amount of time we spend together (on travel, or working evenings and weekends) now that I’m married.  So it is definately a factor – if they do notice(!)

Post # 5
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I was the original poster of this topic actually, and received tons of great advice. I was more concerned that they would automatically think I needed a ton of time off for a wedding and honeymooon and would be distracted with planning.

I went to about 10 different companies and was interviewed by both males and females- about 7 out of 10 mentioned it. Which I thought was kind of strange, but in the end, all responses were VERY positive. Everyone said Congratulations and it’s so exciting and when are you getting married etc. 

I would wear it, because if you get the job, you are probably going to wear it to work everyday anyway, so no need to hide anythign now;) 

Post # 6
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I would wear it.

You wouldnt want to get the job, come on day one, have someone notice and congratulate you and then you have to say "oh i’ve been engaged for months" or something along those lines. 

 

Good luck with the interview!

Post # 7
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Sorry to disagree with everyone, I say no, and the fact that you asked tells me you are leaning that way or at least considered it.  It is an interview and frankly you dont want anything to distract from your work product.  If someone asked there is no way you wouldnt get all girly about it, put your best foot forward, and your best un-adorned finger!  Good luck

Post # 8
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee

I have to disagree with previous poster. Being engaged is part of who you are now and that does not mean you are all girly about it. I have faith that you are professional during your interview even when discussing upcoming wedding.

I work in the office with all men and when I got engaged I was really surprised by how happy they were for me ( it’s a bit of a different situation since I already work there but on the other hand my fiance is in different city so I am SURE the thought of me relocating crossed their mind even though nobody voiced it). They all wanted to see the ring and complimented on it. And we are in financial industry so admiring wings is definitely not part of the job, lol.

Good luck with the inerview whichever way you decide.

Post # 9
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I TOTALLY agree with Ju1244–that that you should not wear it. I am in a similar situation, interviewing for jobs in a male-dominated field. Lots of times, guys do notice and they may think that if you are engaged, you will not be able to direct all of your attention to your work. They may also think that you will be wanting to start a family soon, which means time off. I say, wait until you get an offer, then start wearing it. That’s what I plan to do. Also, I find it inappropriate if an interviewer asks anything about marital status, etc…

Post # 10
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I’ve always worked in a male-dominated field, and I can assure you that if any of them even notice it (not likely) it will probably be the guys who spent time designing their wives’ rings and want to see what other women got.  In other words, they won’t care.  My last interview, they didn’t even realize I was engaged or married (my wedding ring is my engagement ring).  The one before, the only person who noticed was a recently engaged woman.

I seriously doubt any male interviewee would be worried about this.   I think the best approach is to act like any guy would: it’s no big deal.

Post # 11
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

They CANNOT ask you about your marital status.  It’s not inappropriate: it’s just not allowed.  If they comment on your ring, are you confident enough to respond with a casual, "Yes, it’s a beautiful ring, isn’t it?" or "Yes, it’s very special to me?"  I would not bring up an engagement in a first interview.  When you’re talking offers, it’s ok then to bring it up, since you’ll need some time off, I assume.

Post # 12
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Wear it. Personally I don’t think they will notice at all unless one thinks you’re hot and wants to see if you are taken. But more importantly Women SHOULD NOT need to hide/apologize/pretend to get a job. If a man doesn’t need to take his wedding ring off to get a job then neither should I have to take off my engagement/wedding ring. Some might argue that that is just the way it is but I feel by taking the ring off we are contributing to the idea that a woman who is engaged, married, or has children isn’t equally as capable as a man.  Maybe there are companies that would look at me differently b/c of a ring on my hand but if that’s the case I wouldn’t want to work for that company b/c they do not have good work/life balance. 

Post # 14
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Sorry it wasn’t your ideal job and glad you felt comfortable with your choice.  I actually work in Labour and Employment law, it is true they SHOULD NOT ask, but you cannot control what people think or ever know why anyone makes the decision they do. (to hire, to promote, not to promote etc)  Too hard to prove unless it is pervasive throughout the company-and even then, still tough.  

One thing I would suggest to anyone engaged or getting engaged… I bill my time hourly, and a computer program automatically clicks away the fractions of an hour and attributes them to the client for whom I am doing the work.  My emails, however, are another story, and although I do go through them at billing time…I WAS SHOCKED to find how much of my day is spend on wedding stuffs.  I have come to the conclusion that, you show me a girl preparing for a wedding and I will show you a girl with some level of diminished productivity! So between us bees…word around the office is-its a reasonably simple wedding, or mother is doing most of the work, or my cousin is a wedding planner so basically…I have VERY LITTLE TO DO!  

Post # 15
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I say you should totally wear it. Why not? If you wear it you probably will give off the message right away that your a taken lady. Though I actually am no longer engaged sadly, meh. I got some closure from selling it from this site I heard Rachel Ray talk about http://auction.idonowidont.com/newsite.php helped me with closure

but I do say if you want people at work to know your married, rock the rock. I do longer do! 

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