(Closed) Engagement Ring Blues

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Has he picked up on the fact that you don’t like it? My Fiance would see that I didn’t and he would handle the issue without me ever saying a word. He dragged me all over ring shopping before we settled on one. He asked me with a costume ring so it would be a complete surprise then dragged me everywhere looking for the real deal.

I would just talk to him. Maybe someone in his/your family has an heirloom they would like to hand down? Maybe you could ring shop together?

Post # 4
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If the setting is too plain, remember that you can add a fancier band to it.  If the setting is too much, you can always ask Fiance if he would mind if you exchanged it for a simpler setting. 

Post # 5
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh, don’t worry about a thing. I know plenty of girls who swapped after the engagement. You need to get something that you like! tell him that as much as you loved his proposal and are so happy, the ring just hasn’t grown on you and you’d like to exchange it for another style that suites you….maybe consider keeping the diamond and switching the setting, etc. It’s no biggie….it happens. Or if your not sure if you like it or not, give it some time. It might grow on you. I picked mine but it too me weeks to get comfortable with it. Love it now.

Post # 6
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

sorry you feel this way. Can u post a picture of the ring and a pic of the ring u would like better?

 

Post # 8
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Sarah55555:  I’m sorry that he reacted that way! Does he realize you will be wearing this forever?  Maybe if you show him some pictures of a setting you like better he will come around.

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
13 posts
Newbee

Yea thats a difficult situation.  I know a couple of girls who changed their ring but they waited until after they were married and called it an “upgrade”.  Guys are very sensitive on this subject and your Fiance is probably hurt right now but he will get over it and eventually you can compromise and get the ring you are envisioning! GOOD LUCK!!

Post # 10
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It is a difficult situation but as you can see he was really hurt by the fact that you didn’t like it. Some men are different, some men wouldn’t take it personal and would be willing to change it while others would be really hurt and see it as a rejection of them and their efforts to give you the ultimate gift. 

As he got mad when you brought it up, I would suggest waiting a few years after marriage to make any changes. So maybe a 5th anniversay “upgrade.” I know it’s frustrating but just try to see it from his perspective, give it a little time and then you make some alterations or just buy him an UGLY, gawdy wedding band that he’ll hate and maybe he will see your side of things LOL.

Post # 11
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Im sorry he had that reaction, def give it a lil time. forgive me for this suggestion if youre not spiritual, but pray for him to understand. My Fiance was very worried i wouldnt like my ring so I picked it out with him. For the time being, anytime you look at hte ring and think “this isnt what I wanted” follow that thought with, this ring represents_____ and list all the good things.And for the time being, focus on the posstive and get excited about planning the wedding! oh, maybe try to have SOMEONE ELSE talk to him about it…to avoid future fights about it…??

Post # 12
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I know how you feel, my Fiance bought me a gorgeous ring that complete strangers have complimented me on but sometimes I feel like I would like a different one. It is, however, the kind of ring I hinted to him that I liked. What exactly is it that you don’t like about your ring? Can we see a pic? 

A friend of mine got a different ring because she didn’t like her original one her Fiance bought her and she said she regrets ever changing it. That ring was much more special to her because of what it symbolized and how much thought went into him picking it out for her. Just be 100% sure before you get a new one. You don’t want to regret it later!

Post # 13
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Truth be told, my ring wasn’t what I asked for either. It was smaller than I was expecting, and the setting was different (he ended up using a family diamond, which is wonderful, just not what I was expecting).  After a couple months, it definitely grew on me and now I am fiercely in love w/her!  

Also, don’t forget that you get to choose a band soon, so if you really can’t stand it, just hang in there until the wedding and then just wear your band only. This happened to a co-worker of mine, whose Fiance chose a ring that was soooo not her style. Well, she got married last weekend and when we saw her afterward, she was wearing a much more simple/beautiful gold band that she picked out and matched her personality and taste to a tee.  

Post # 14
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Sarah55555:  Sorry to hear about your situation, but I think that you should love whatever ring your Fiance gave you.  I’m sure he picked it out with the best of intentions and it’s understandable if he got defensive and mad when you brought it up.  Just count your blessings that someone loved you that much and you can now call him your Fiance.

Post # 15
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

He’ll get over it. Don’t worry.

Post # 16
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just tell him you would prefer a different setting with the same center stone.

The topic ‘Engagement Ring Blues’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors