Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 1/2 years, and recently started to talk about getting engaged. I don’t wear much jewelry and have always felt pretty strongly about picking my own engagement ring
I went to the diamond district with my mom yesterday and saw a ring that I FELL in LOVE with. This is my DREAM ring!
Here’s the problem…
My boyfriend’s older brother dated a girl last year for about 7 months. She gave him an ultimatum, “marry me, or move out!”…needless to say the engagement didn’t work out and was called off 2 months later and he is stuck with the ring…
The EXACT same ring I LOVE!!!! It is a unique setting, and they are CLEARLY identical. My center diamond would be larger than hers but it would be the same cushion cut and everything! I have not brought this up to my boyfriend yet as I don’t want to actually bring it up until we look together for rings next Spring.
Is this wrong of me to want the same ring? Everyone in the family knows what it looks like as they are still trying to sell the damn thing.
ITS SO irritating that she can come into this family for SEVEN months and take away my dream ring from me just because she forced an engagement on his brother and selected it first! lol
Any advice? Thanks!
Post # 3
She was there for 7 months, you’re going to wear this ring the rest of your life. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Tell your boyfriend exactly what you like “cushion cut, side stones…etc”. If someone points out it looks similar to her ring, just joke that your Future Brother-In-Law has great taste! Your family may think that the rings are similar for a second, but they will soon move on to the wedding details and it will not be an issue.
Post # 4
You can want whatever ring you want! I don’t know how you would feel about this, but would you and your Fiance ever consider buying that ring and upgrading the diamond. I guess some people would think it was weird, but I wouldn’t. Your FI’s brother could give your Fiance a deal and you would get your dream ring.
Post # 6
A lot of engagement rings look similar or are the same. I don’t think it would be weird at all for you to have the same style ring as your bf’s brother’s ex Fiance.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
@Crabbabs: I was going to suggest the same thing! There have been discussions of “used rings” but I feel like this is a special case in that it’s just SO convenient, especially since they’re trying so hard to sell it, and it doesn’t sound like she wore it very long. Plus, if the OP was involved in the decision, it wouldn’t be so much him giving her a “used ring” beause he cheaped out or it belonged to an ex.
Post # 8
@hannahbee: I fell in love with the idea of a heart cut stone set in white gold… LONG before I met SO lol About 6 months after SO and I started dating, a friend from HS posted a picture of her engagement ring on FB and it was a Heart Cut Solitaire set in White Gold. I was very upset and felt like I had to change my ‘dream ring’ because of hers. I looked at other cuts, styles, settings, etc and always kept coming back to the Heart Cut, I eventually just realized that it didn’t matter who had the same design, I wanted that ring lol I’ve since opened my mind to other stones tho, I think a Tanzanite Heart Cut set in White Gold would be beautiful and unique lol perhaps something like this: http://www.gemvara.com/Customized/jewelry/v/2790779/
So, don’t worry about what your Future Brother-In-Law gave to the girl who is no longer around.
Post # 9
My engagement ring looks a lot like my sister in law’s. I actually tried hers on before my brother proposed to her. I fell in love with the princess cut style. So, we have nearly identical engagement rings. Big deal. She has a channel diamond wedding band while I have a plain one.
Post # 10
Get what you like!!! Who cares what hers looked like? Everyone will forget about that ring in a few years, anyway, you will be the one wearing it for life!
Post # 11
Get the one you want and it will only be weird if you make it weird. As the PPs said, she was around for 9 months, and is gone, you are here to stay. Also, I know of many people with very simlar rings, there is no problem with it in my book! The ring sounds pretty, have any pictures?
Post # 12
@CanAmBride: i like that “FBIL has great taste” (I don’t think the rest of the fam knows he didn’t pick it out, that his ex did, so I like that!)
@Crabbabs: That is a great idea, and trust me I have thought about it BUT here is where it is a little bazarre— my boyfriend’s mother insists on me having a 2 carat diamond (not going to complain lol), the center diamond on the current ring is less than 1 carat and it is a pretty shallow diamond so it doesn’t have as much sparkle (I THINK it is still VERY pretty). They have all spoken pretty negatively about it, how it has not as much fire to it and how my boyfriend’s mother wished the ring wasn’t purchased so impulsively, how the diamond you purchase is your diamond for the rest of your life and kind of makes fun of how tiny the diamond is…etc
So, just because of all the stigma that is associated with this ring, I don’t think I will end up with it. In a way, if my ring has the exact same setting but a different center diamond because… “I listened to the advice of everyone else” (lol) than maybe it wouldn’t be so odd after all and people will be more open to it since they had some input. Who knows!
@annasaf83: hey, i guess in a way that’s how you know you have great taste!
@brox: You make an interesting point, nobody would question it if the rings were the same because they were both in a simple setting, I think my mom and aunt both have gorgeous solitaire rings in the same setting actually
Post # 13
I was going to suggest buying the ring from your Future Brother-In-Law as well. You could probably get it from him at a great price and upgrade to the size you want! The ex’s loss is your gain!
Post # 14
She isn’t even in the picture – have the ring you want
Oh yes , pics please 🙂
Post # 15
@hannahbee: My sister in law didn’t seem to mind when they congratulated us when we got engaged. For being two princess cut solitare rings, they look different. Mine is knife edge while hers is different. Our carat sizes are similar too, but again, hers had a strong influence on what I wanted. Honestly, nobody cares as long as you’re happy.