Post # 1
I recently became engaged and I knew the second I saw the ring that it wasn’t remotely me. To describe the ring it is very modern with a center piece of 6 small diamonds combined and side settings with a few smaller diamonds. I felt absoletly terrible and guilty for not liking the ring, I know he put a lot of effort in to getting it for me. And on the other hand I am a tad angry I felt like if he had listened or perhaps asked me a few questions we wouldnt even have this issue. I am a traditional marquis kind of girl, I told him that and showed him rings I liked. I recently came clean to him about not liking the ring, he took it ok. But now he makes comments about how I want a replacement. I feel so guilty I love the ring so much because it came from him but at the same time I don’t feel like its my ring at all. I don’t know how to tell him I want a different one without hurting his feelings more. And no I dont want a bigger diamond or any more bling I am not that kind of woman. I just want to look at my ring and be happy or at least content. I really don’t know how to handle this, could really use some insight.
Post # 3
I’m not sure there is anything you can do short of buying your own ring to wear. You told him you weren’t happy and he didn’t jump at offering to buy you a new one…
Post # 4
@bandgrl90: Ugh crappy situation!! You took the first step, which is letting him know. It sounds like he isn’t too pleased about it. I am not sure why he hasn’t just suggested to you that you go and pick something else out.
Is he worried about you seeing the cost of the ring or something? I think you need to know what you have to work with. Like if he can’t return it or re-sell it for anything close to what he paid for it, you’ll be working with an even smaller budget.
Crappy situation but I think you deserve to have a ring you love. You’re supposed to wear it forever. This is why I am a firm believer in not receiving a surprise ring/proposal.
I wouldn’t let this drag on, though. I don’t know if the return policy has expired yet, but the longer the situation drags on, the more resentment will breed from both sides.
Post # 5
Could you sit down with him and discuss exchanging it together? Reiterate that you love the sentimate, but that the ring just isn’t your style.
Post # 6
Definitely just try to have a calm conversation with him about why you would want a different ring. I think it’s very reasonable to want something you love.
Post # 7
That is a bad situation to be in girl sorry! The only advice I can give u is to be honest and open about your feelings and try not to be too hard on him 🙂
Post # 8
Been through this. Honestly stay off weddingbee and dont talk about it for a few months. I had issues with my ring in November and now i dont know WHY. I think seeing all the lovely rings on this site started making me feel bad.
Its not a perfect ring, but i adore it because HE gave it to me. A few years after marriage if for some reason i am dying to change it we can talk about it then.
And just leave it alone for awhile. He is hurt that is why he is making those comments. He needs time to move past the hurt feelings.
Post # 9
You told him you didn’t like it, he doesn’t seem interested in getting you a new one, so I guess the only thing you can do is learn to love it. It came from his heart when he asked you to marry him, let that be enough. And when it comes time to pick wedding bands see if you can get one that pulls the whole thing together and makes you love the set.
Get yourself a nice RHR, but don’t insult and humiliate him by replacing your engagment ring on your own. That’s not what an ering is about.
Post # 10
Thanks for the all the advice I appreciate it. I think ill give him a couple days and then try to speak to him about it. And to be honest I dont think its a money issue but a pride issue with him. You guys are great.
Post # 11
If you two decide not to change it, maybe get a fabulous wedding band that you’re crazy about and wear the e-ring on your right hand, if at all, after the wedding.
Post # 12
@bandgrl90: Maybe once you’re further from the wedding/engagement then it won’t be as sensitive a subject and you could get it reset later on? Right now it’s probably too fresh.