Post # 1
Member
7 posts
Newbee
Hi guys,
I originally posted in here about 5 years ago and thought I would give an update. When I went back to the original post it had closed.
My original comment had been about how my now husband proposed with a 0.25 carat princess cut diamond and that I was disappointed with it. Since then we have got married and went on many exciting and fun holidays and weekends away together. In my first post I said how we had been fighting about the proposal and ring size etc and I had put the ring back in the box (like a total brat, I know). I love my husband so much. He is the most caring and patient(!) and kind and funny and interesting person I know. We have been together 17 years and he still makes my heart flip. None of this came across in my first post. I re-read it again tonight and I know I came across as selfish and silly.
I have been wearing my ring for almost 5 years now and I’m totally used to how it looks. I even do think it is pretty in its own way lol. But guess what? I went for lunch with my friends today and I saw a girl at another table with small hands (my size) and a bigger diamond. And I couldn’t stop staring. And here I am re-reading my old post because my feelings about my ring haven’t actually changed. Our relationship has though. We are so much closer and being married is awesome. People always comment about how we are ‘the happiest couple they know’ etc.
But I still feel sick in my stomach. Because I wish I had been able to say to him at the time, when the ring could still be exchanged that it wasn’t really what I had in mind. He might have been slightly disappointed but would have got over it quickly when he saw me showing my ring off to everyone and how happy I would have been. I didn’t show my ring off. Ever. About a year ago he did comment about how I never put a pick on Facebook when we got engaged. Another thing I don’t think I included in my first post was that his mum asked the size of the diamond and then said my husband’s sister had earrings the same size. Way to make me feel special!? Anyway know I’m going on a bit. Just feeling upset tonight because I still feel the same way about the ring as I did so long ago and feel that I should have said something and had the engagement I wanted. I can’t go back in time and it makes me feel sad. Xx
Post # 2
Member
4021 posts
Honey bee
So get an enhancement band for it.
Post # 3
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
Well, how do you feel about double halos? Time for a 5-year anniversary enhancement?
Post # 4
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
I agree with
bridetobe2018 : maybe a halo setting? Or even go to a jeweler and see what an upgraded diamond would cost?
Post # 5
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
You need to realize the thing represents your love and commitment. It’s not just a ring anymore. Stop looking at other rings. This is yours.
you could always upgrade if it’s that important but that will always be the original ring he gave you when he asked you to be his wife.
Post # 6
Member
8390 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Buy yourself a new ring?
engagement rings aren’t just a pissing contest to see who’s biggest, it’s the love of your now husband asking you to be with him forever. I feel bad that all you see is something not good enough.
Post # 7
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
I think 5 years could be time for an upgrade. Is that an option?
Post # 8
Member
3865 posts
Honey bee
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Buy yourself a new one or swap out for a larger diamond if you’re still insecure about your ring.
Post # 9
Member
7808 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
It sounds like you were actually HAPPY when you stopped focusing on the ring and started getting caught up in married life with your fabulous DH. Coveting will never make you happy, and now here you are, back to secretly wishing you had bigger, better, MORE.
I guarantee you, you can upgrade your ring and you will still go out to lunch and see someone with an even bigger ring. Will the wanting ever stop? In other words, is there a ring that would make all these feelings go away, or if people make disparaging comments and you see others with larger rings will you still want more? It sounds like you just want others to acknowledge and admire your ring, and if that’s why you want a bigger ring, you will never be happy.
If your thread fraom a long time ago sounded selfish and silly, reread this one. How does it sound? You have a great relationship and love being married, and he’s a fabulous man… but none of that is enough?
Post # 10
Member
3096 posts
Sugar bee
What about an upgrade? I’m thinking of doing the same some day.
Post # 11
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
Why not get yourself a nice ring that you want and wear it on your right hand?
I’m not sure how you can upgrade or replace your ring without upsettig your husband. Is it really worth it?
Post # 12
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
Lily123 : There is nothing wrong with liking other rings or even wanting them. No matter how much we all deny in, we feel competitive in some aspect of our lives with others. We don’t like something we’ve been given (re-gifting anyone?). We’ve acted a spoilt brat when disappointed wiht our partner. YOU ARE HUMAN. While you may not have liked the ring, you did not confound that with not liking the man. So, give yourself some credit and be kind to yourself, Ok?
So, where to now? Live from now forward, not in the past. You’ve been married for 5 years. If you have the budget for it…find a new setting that could incorporate your current .25 carat princess diamond.
Use your .25 as one side stone and get a three-stone setting or get a moi toi. If you want moissy for the bling, you can have them use your princess as a side stone and add another (same quality/color/etc.).Then, the center of your choice. The center can even be a colored gemstone.
There is a version of a moi toi that has a smaller stone and a bigger stone together to symbolize the growth of love and wealth in a marriage. Below is a picture of a modern interpretation. Could be all colorless stones or use color like this (budget friendly and can have meaning too…).
Post # 13
Member
10451 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Why not upgrade? Or buy an enhancer. There are options, if it’s still upsetting you after 5 years then it’s time to actually do something about it, don’t you think?
Post # 14
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
I was the same as you. Mine was 0.7 Ct and I felt like a brat for not loving it. It was a solitaire and just felt so plain to me. I got it reset for our 5th anniversary and I love it now. And my husband never had to know I didn’t love it. Maybe mention getting an upgrade? It’s pretty common to get a new one at 5 years.
Post # 15
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
Lily123 : I love to hear that you were able to separate your feelings toward the ring from the love you have for your husband. It sounds like you two have built a solid foundation together. I agree with PPs – you’re at the 5-year mark. And your hubby sounds lovely. Bring up the idea of an upgraded ring. Don’t tell him your sad feelings about your original rings, just tell him that you would like an “update.”
You two can even design it together, and make it a very special process.