(Closed) Engagement ring family drama

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 137
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@booteefull:  woah, why can’t your fiancé tell his mom that this is the ring he wanted to buy for you and sorry if she is upset but it’s his decision? He should be able to stand up to his mom on something like this. How old is he? Yikes. 

Post # 138
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I am so furious for you! It’s one thing for his mother be be petty and jealous, but for him to actually take your ring away from you as a result of it is absolutely mind boggling and unacceptable. Darling, please don’t feel any guilt. You did NOTHING wrong and he should seriously feel ashamed of himself for not taking your side, blaming you, and then asking for your ring back. And for what? An “etiquette” rule his mother likely made up on the spot? 

How is he going to deal with his family’s ridiculous demands in the future? What other things is he going to scarifice to please mommy dearest?

Post # 139
Member
551 posts
Busy bee

I am just going to agree with the posters who say that this ‘man’ would no longer be my fiancé and I would be so relieved to have dodged that bullet of being a doormat to his controlling awfull family for the rest of my life. When someone shows you who they truly are, believe them. Huge red flags!

Post # 140
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Run. He’s a titty baby and you ain’t got time for that! 

Post # 141
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Oh my gosh.  I honestly don’t know what to say to this.  Except that I would not tolerate Darling Husband acting like this and he would definitely not tolerate me acting like this.  We make decisions with eachother based upon what’s best for our family.  If they don’t agree with the ring, who’s to say they won’t argue against a house you want to buy?  The town you raise your kids in?  The car you want to drive?  Will everything have to be based against what your Future Mother-In-Law has/does not have?  Having inlaws like that is annoying, but having a husband that gives into their demands without taking you into consideration is downright worrisome.

Post # 142
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@joya_aspera:  I love it when you say “onus.” Makes me feel all fuzzy inside. Yell

Post # 143
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@booteefull:  What?  YOU should have told HIM to get a smaller diamond because of HIS family etiquette that even he knew nothing about?  None of that even makes sense!!!

Honestly, his mom sounds like a supreme bitch, and I wouldn’t want to have to compete with her for the rest of my life.  Actually, it’s not a competition, because you’ve clearly already lost.  I couldn’t be with a guy who chose his mother over me – that’s not a guy who’s ready to be married.  

Post # 144
Member
1504 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

This is absolutely not a rule. I am hoping the best for you, OP, but this is a sign of things to come with that family.

Post # 145
Member
1914 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

That is NOT a thing! I am so sorry you are going through this. You are clearly not being greedy and it’s horrible that your in laws are giving you that rep and that your Fiance isn’t having your back. I think this might be a deal breaker for me. So humiliating and demeaning. You deserve more respect than that. Good luck talking to your pastor, I hope you are able to come to a resolution.

Post # 146
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Fiance shoudl’ve known HIS family etiquette.  Is OP supposed to be a mind reader? 

 

Post # 147
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m sorry this has happened to you, but I would stop apologizing for something you didn’t do. It is your Fiance who messed up and on a couple of issues. 

He had the poor taste to ask you to return an engagement ring he gave you. What? I mean HUH?

How terribly unfortunate that you have been made to feel badly over something you didn’t do.

He should be begging you for forgiveness and looking around for another bigger and better ring.

Those apron strings will kill ya. 

 

Post # 148
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@booteefull:  That’s not an etiquette rule that exists! I don’t know what to do, just hugs. That’s unfair.

Post # 149
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You should be angry, OP. Instead you keep anxiously begging for reassurance that you did nothing wrong, that you’re not coming off as greedy. You seem tremendously insecure and that’s a dangerous, dangerous thing when you’re looking at acquiring in-laws like this, and a husband who is willing to blame you for his mother’s irrational anger. I see you ending up EXTREMELY UNHAPPY in this marriage – beaten down like a carpet that others walk all over.

If you insist on marrying this guy, then at least get some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to address your anxiety and self-doubt. Seriously, the biggest problem here isn’t your fiance or his crazy family, it’s your willingness to accept their bizarre behavior, and your inclination to believe they’re in the right about you.

Post # 150
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@booteefull:  That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.  My Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t even have her engagement ring anymore and my ring is over twice as big as my moms and neither are offended.  Actually, they are happy for me.  Sorry you’re marrying into such a selfish family.

Post # 151
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@calendula:  I don’t think you know her well enough to suggest cognitive behavioural therapy. Do you?

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