(Closed) Engagement ring family drama

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 107
Member
740 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@booteefull:  

where does he family originate from?

Post # 108
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

@BellJarBride:  I’d dump my Fiance for doing that to me. That would be hurtful! I’d never forgive him.

Post # 110
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@rickhurst35:  So would I. And I would be terrified to marry into his family knowing his mother has that much power over him. AND knowing that something like that is going to merit me being ignored and/or judged by his family.

Post # 111
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

 You didn’t do anything wrong! He’s a putz, and his mother is a piece of work. It would be one thing if you DEMANDED a giant ring, specifically to show her up. But you didn’t.  If we went by her crazy rules, all I would have is a plain band! My fiance’s parents got engaged when his Dad graduated from college, so he was broke as a joke when he asked her. She’s had the option to upgrade for years, but loves her ring as it is. Many people from previous generations didn’t have large engagement rings, it just wasn’t an option. 

I would have serious concerns about marrying into this family. What if you have a bigger house than she does someday? What if she doesn’t like how you raise your potential future children? The fact that he took the ring away from you and then  was angry with you because mommy dearest was upset is disgraceful.

Post # 112
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@booteefull:  that is ridiculous! The Mother-In-Law is acting like a jealous baby. I feel sorry for you…Clearly your husband to be is on his way to putting you second. he shouldn’t have yelled at you After all HE bought the ring. 

Post # 113
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

@BellJarBride:  I was in a marriage like that, only to realize it years after the fact…after 2 children it got worse.  I couldn’t handle the xFIL’s anymore and having a mama’s boy for a husband. He put his “blood” family first before his family under his roof that he created first.  Just stick the knife in deeper and turn it! 

 

Post # 114
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My ring is about 3 times bigger than my FMILs (hers is very small, my centre is 0.45cts) and she loves my ring. She has never once commented on the size difference. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Are you sure this is a family you can live with for the rest of your life?

Post # 115
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@rickhurst35:  I broke off an engagement with a guy with a family like that, after three years of hell. Sometimes hindsight really is 20/20. Good for you for seeing the writing on the wall at all, even if not right away!

Post # 117
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

You said Future Mother-In-Law tastes weren’t flashy… that’s not sub culture or family culture, it’s personal perogative. What if y’all buy a house that’s bigger than hers?  Do you have to get a smaller one, or how many kids do you have, what if you want more than her?  Or less?  Does Future Mother-In-Law throw a small tizz if your house is too small?  

Why don’t you ask Future Mother-In-Law what the deal is?  I mean it.  She’s someone you look up to, you value her opinion, you will be dealing with her for the rest of your life, so for the future things that happen, this may be a good place to open up a dialogue, vs. getting everything thru other people.  

Post # 119
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@joya_aspera:  I see 🙂 makes sense. Thank you for the explanation! 

Post # 120
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@booteefull:  Good luck with your appointment, hope you are able to resolve the situation.

Post # 121
Member
4820 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@booteefull:   I am beyond baffled by this situation.  A MAN chooses a ring for the woman he wishes to marry.  He gives it to her if she accepts his proposal.  END OF STORY.

Whatever anyone else thinks or doesn’t think is NONE of anyone’s business.  

What next?  Will he take away other gifts if momma doesn’t approve?  

Bad precedent to set.   

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