(Closed) Engagement ring family drama

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 122
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

What exactly is the culture in which the younger generation can only have nice things if the older generation has nicer things?  Please cite your source.

She is being an immature brat and if trying to make you look bad instead of her for throwing a tantrum.

Post # 123
Member
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@booteefull:  They are all from this area.

What ethnic culture is that? New Hampshire-ites?? Lol! I have family in New Husband, I’ll be sure to ask them the “etiquette”.

Interesting that you aren’t responding to anyone’s comments on dumping the guy. Only to the ones who say to stay with him. Hope we don’t see you on Dr Phil in a few years.

Good luck!

Post # 124
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

what the heck???!!! Are you serious?? I would tell him you want YOUR ring back and it doesn’t matter what his family thinks!! Holy man would I be ticked off!!  They have NO right doing that to you or him….how terrible!! They should be happy for you both, not jealous that your diamond is bigger…how childish can you get? Wow…I would sit down and have a serious talk with your fiance about this…I’m honestly very sad for you, this should be a happy time.  He needs to tell his family off. Sorry if this was blunt. 

Congrats on your engagement?? Good luck…I hope you can get this worked out!

 

Post # 125
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@booteefull:  don’t second guess yourself and make excuses for them….this was wrong…period!

 

Post # 126
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

Stop blaming yourself! None of this is your fault! She was not trying to prevent you looking tacky, she was plain old jealous and bitter.

 

I have a larger engagement ring than my mother and my Future Mother-In-Law but instead of being rude about it they think it’s gorgeous and they’re proud that my Fiance could save and spend that on me.

 

Your Fiance is way out of line and I would be laying down the law. Don’t be a pushover your whole marriage.

Post # 127
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

@booteefull:  I have never heard of this in my life! Is this really serious?? what does your ring have to do with the rest of the family? I would not have agreed to give up my ring just for that reason. I’m sorry but i probably wouldnt even marry him after this,its not about the ring its about the control i would be marrying into. 

Post # 128
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

@booteefull:  He proposed to you with a ring you love, and then after his mother told him to, he essentially said that you’re not good enough, that you don’t deserve to have a ring that expensive, so he took it back and he’s going to give you something less valuable.  If it were me, I would feel completely demeaned and disrespected by the man who is supposed to love me for the rest of his life.  I hope you work it out.  Keep us posted.

Post # 129
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

That’s fucked up, especially the part where he blamed you for it.  Is his mom always going to demand he take back your gifts?  I’d give the ring back and wouldn’t accept a new one.

Post # 130
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

@joya_aspera:  Her culture clearly isn’t his culture so why should she have to conform to their rules? 

Post # 131
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@booteefull:  I have absolutely never heard of this. If this was true all women would now have the tiniest rings ever! I would be absolutely hurt and insulted that he went back on his gift because his mother is being selfish and insecure. i’d be concerned because this kind of drama and inconsistency on his part sets a bad tone for your marriage. 

Post # 132
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

This is a very difficult situation BUT I have been married forever and never heard of such an etiquette rule and, trust me, my Mother-In-Law was the dean of all things etiquette.  Your Future Mother-In-Law will find fault with whatever you do, regardless if it is this situation or not.  My advice is to keep being yourself all through her drama and let the dust settle where it may.  Eventually she will come around or you and your Fiance will figure out how to manage her drama and keep your relationship in tact. Even if you switch the ring she will find something else you do wrong, I promise.  Just be ready for it next time it comes around.  My MIl did eventually come around.

Post # 133
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Christ if my Fiance ever let his mother control him like that he would most likely not be my Fiance. Whats next, you guys will have to return any wedding gifts you get because Future Mother-In-Law never got anything as nice? 

While I cant give you advice I do wish you the best of luck.

Post # 134
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

So now every time you look down at your e-ring, you’ll see something you don’t like as much, all because of his mom’s hissy fit?  To wear that reminder of him caving to her irrational, jealous tantrum?  No thank you.  I’m all about principles, and am not really into rings as many on the Bee are, but this would be a dealbreaker for me.  He will ALWAYS put mom first, and you won’t be able to do or have anything that they deem “better” than what they have.  This is very, very bad.  Usually parents want their children to have an easier, better lives than they did.

Post # 135
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sarals24:  Agreed. I have never heard of something like this. If anything why doesn’t she upgrade hers?

Post # 136
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

I’m two pages in and just have to say:

WALK AWAY from this family {and that includes your “FI”}.

First–there i no etiquette regarding the size of the stone.  But more importantly–do you want to be involved with a man-child who allowed his mother to dictate your relationship?

I would RUN from this relationship and man.  If you marry him  you will be at the mercy of hs mother for as long as she’s around.

 

 

 

 

The topic ‘Engagement ring family drama’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors