Engagement ring has a huge flaw :(

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
7021 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You can’t fix the clarity. I2 is pretty low. You will have to sacrifice a significant loss in size or colour to get something that is higher [at the same budget]. 

Post # 3
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Honestly, I didn’t notice anything, and I think your ring is beautiful.  I highly doubt that people are going to be looking at your ring to judge the quality whatsoever.  If you’re really self conscious though, I wouldn’t keep it from your fiancee.  That could become problematic later if you keep it from him

Post # 4
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee

gardener09 :  I honestly dont notice anything but I believe you. I dont think when you show people that people will be like OMG bad clarity or something. If it bothers you tell your fiance you noticed a flaw and say you just want to make sure they didnt rip him off or that something doesn’t need to be fixed. Honestly I think it looks pretty though. I would not worry about it.

Post # 5
Member
2567 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t see it in your blurry first picture. But I will also say: I’ve never looked at a woman’s ring closely enough to notice inclusions in their diamond. It would be pretty rude to stare and inspect a ring for that long, IMO. So I don’t think you have anything to worry about except for whether you like the ring. Personally I’d say enjoy it as is and possibly upgrade in a few years if it’s important to you. 

Post # 6
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I honestly can’t see it in the first picture, but my center stone is about the same size as yours and also has a sizeable inclusion. I do notice it in certain lights and at first I was kind of upset about it (which I had no right to be, since I helped pick the stone and looked at it under a loupe and decided size was more important to me), but now I just view it as a part of my ring and what makes it unique. You can see it in the pic below, center-bottom-right-ish. 

As others have said, I don’t think I’ve ever noticed the diamond clarity of any other woman’s ring – this is probably something only you will notice. Talk to your fiance about it, mention that it’s there, but give it a bit of time – you might be surprised to see that it grows on you. 

IMG_4509

Post # 7
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Clarity was very important to me, so I made sure FH knew that. I wanted a well performing ring; and cut and clarity are the two major determining factors of how well your ring will sparkle and shine.* Imo, a I2 diamond with visible inclusions is not worth the money. There are so many other beautiful gemstones that you can buy instead of an expensive and underperforming diamond. 

With that being said, most other people won’t notice certain inclusions. People usually only pay attention to the size, color, and overall style of the majority of rings they look at. Now if your inclusion is causing the ring to really be dull and flat, I think that’s something people will also notice, even if they can’t quite put their finger on why it’s unimpressive. I cant recall how clear most of my friends and family’s rings are, except one– Her ring was very obviously dark and cloudy, and it reminded me of dirty snowballs. From your photos, you definitely don’t have this issue. It’s most likely, that people won’t notice the flaws in your ring.

On the flip side, people may not be “blown away” be your ring in person. Another anecdote: I and a co-worker got engaged around the same time. My co-worker went for color, but sacrificed the clarity and cut. People say how nice her ring is when shown, and no one seems to notice any flaws in her ring. BUT, she doesn’t get the same “Wow!” and “Omg, that’s gorgeous!” that I get when my dazzler catches their attention. She even remarked one day that we have almost the same ring (both solitaires), but mine sparkles so much more. 

 

Post # 8
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My engagement ring has a black speck right in the center of the stone. I know it seems like it’s a huge deal at first, it bothered me for a while, but now I don’t even think about it or care! Your ring is beautiful, I don’t see the flaw and I’m sure other people won’t either. The only people that have ever noticed mine was me & Darling Husband.

Post # 9
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You will probably get used to it! PPs are right- if you want to get another diamond to replace, it will probably be much more expensive or you will have to sacrifice size/color for clarity. I bet it’s driving you crazy right now, but you’ll get used to it and can always upgrade the diamond later!

Post # 11
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

 Unfocused bad pictures don’t make sense here. Unless you want us to agree with you that it looks bad?

ETA: the pics are focused – but not on the center stone which is the source of the complaint.. 

Post # 11
Member
992 posts
Busy bee

I think there’s a lot of pressure on guys to “go big” with size, both by their FI’s and society in general. With an I clarity stone, your size would decrease pretty dramatically if you were to exchange it and you would have to be OK with that. I’ve seen a loooooot of couples in their early 20s either taking out loans for 6k ~1ct stones because girls want a photo/Instagram worthy ring, but then you have a partner with debt. I always cheer for people who make their budgets work and stay responsible. It seems like your Fiance did that for you, while staying in budget and that’s awesome!  Seriously.  

I am a cut/clarity person, so I tend to notice and look for those things in other rings, but I’m pretty sure most people only notice finger coverage – which is perfect with your ring/finger with your current stone. A smaller diamond would be more sparkly and have better resale value, but why would you think about selling something you love? Only you can decide what is important, a “C” or two always has to be sacrificed to budget.  I wouldn’t mention it to you Fiance unless you are absolutely certain you want to trade it in for a smaller, equally priced stone.  I think it’s a little hurtful to say “look at this, it has a flaw, let’s get a new one” to your partner.  And it’s never fair to ask them to spend more than they have available to spend.  At first look when I see your ring, all I see is a pretty, feminine ring with just lovely finger coverage.

 

Post # 12
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Give it time.  That is your one and only engagement ring, as it was the one he proposed with, which includes the original diamond set.  Be sure you won’t have regret.  

Post # 13
Member
5846 posts
Bee Keeper

 ReeLuvsRo :  I’m sure your co-worker realizes how under-performing her own ring is once you whip out your big rock ….

Do you truly not realize how you come across?

Oh well, what you lack in self-awareness I’m sure you make up for in ring performance & clarity.  

Post # 14
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My center stone is not perfect. There is a flaw that I saw, but no one else does. It used to bother me at first, but over time I grew more and more attached to the ring and diamond since Darling Husband picked it out himself. No one ever looks at my ring long enough to comment on clarity, only the style and carat size which I always get compliments on. Though honestly, I could give a rip what anyone else thinks since I love my ring. 

Based off your photos, I don’t see anything wrong and I think your ring is lovely. Some brides might have major issues with a less than perfect stone, but after the wedding your priorities will change and the perfectness of a diamond will seem insignificant. The sentiment, however, greatly increases. I would definitely give it time because you may grow attached to your ring. I view imperfections almost like a birth mark that makes the stone unique. 

Post # 15
Member
2464 posts
Buzzing bee

I prioritize cut/clarity over color and size. Cut and clarity are what give you the brightness and the dazzle a PP mentioned. There ARE some lower claritiy varieties that don’t affect performance. Say an SI2 or I1 that mainly has only a few isolated, large crystals as opposed to TONS of tiny black crystals – or the dreaded clouds. But generally, anything in the “Included” range, performance is going to be very very negatively affected. I would definitely prefer a smaller, lowered-colored stone if it meant the cut was ideal and the inclusions invisible to the naked eye. I have seen a LOT of huge honking stones that just look dead. I don’t see the point in spending ANY money at all on a diamond if you’re not going to prioritize the performance and sparkle. 

In your shoes I would probably opt to switch to a smaller, lower-colored stone IF it woulnd’t be too costly. Otherwise, learn to love your stone’s “beauty mark” (as some PSers say!) and maybe upgrade down the line?

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