- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
Lots of people have different ideas on how a ring should be selected.
We choose to pick it out together. He went first, looked around, picked out his 5 favorite, and then we went together and I got to ultimately choose. That was nearly 6 months ago. We agreed that the ring should not be financed. It is an antique piece and he didn’t like the center stone. The actual ring wasn’t that much but the center stone was going to be a bit of a payment. However, it should be noted that I wasn’t looking for some super shiny blingy thing. I just wanted to feel like we were really engaged as he’s been telling people for months. He actually asked me to marry him after only knowing him a few weeks.
He works in Kuwait and I am in Oregon, so we don’t get to see each other in person except every 10 weeks or so. I travel there and then 10 weeks after that he comes to the states.
I am getting tired of waiting for the ring. He tells everyone we are engaged. I told a few people people. But now they keep asking when I am getting married and where is the ring. I have no idea where the ring is at this point as he hasn’t given it to me.
I will be traveling to Kuwait in about 10 days. I totally love him but I have this idea that if he doesn’t have the ring for me then, as he keeps saying he has a surprise for me and that I need to just stop worrying about what other people say until after I visit in April. Okay, so I have help off. I had been looking at dresses because for a year he has said he wanted to marry on his birthday in June. I said I didn’t want to have too much time for planning as it stresses me out. Give me 24 hours to find a dress. But now I wished I wouldn’t have said that. I want a few months to know I have the best dress and that everything is ready for wherever we marry as we’ll be in Australia in June and we have agreed that there will be no wedding in Oregon, my homestate, or Texas, his homestate.
But here is the problem. I am tired of waiting for a ring. I am so tired of waiting that it feels like the ring is no longer a romantic notion of love but rather a hunk of change used to show his friends how well he can take care of us. I’d almost rather at this point it be just a little white gold band, something understated and inexpensive. Have I lost my desire for the ring because it is taking him so long to give it to me? He said he wanted to use his tax return to buy the diamond. I said he should use the family stone he was given, which he says is too small. He professes to love me and says I am the one. Tells all his friends. Has our photo on his Facebook. But I can’t for the life of me figure out why he is taking so long. He has owned the ring for nearly 6 months, it will be 6 months in the middle of April.
He says he has a surprise for me in April.
I have the feeling that if it is not the ring that I should tell him that we need to take a break. Which seems crazy, because I do love him. But I’ve agreed to have no intimate contact with him until we are married. We have been dating nearly a year and half. Let me tell you, this is difficult. We can’t share too long of kisses because that breaks the rules.
Originally our trip to Australia was planned as the Honeymoon. But we aren’t engaged. I have this feeling that the surprise in April is going to be my underwater camera set up. But can I say, that I’d honestly at this point it be a ring. Even if the "real" ring isn’t ready doesn’t it seem reasonable to have some ring that says I am taken?
Is it just crazy that I would give him an ultimatum?
I am not getting any younger at 31 and he is 35. We both have agreed we want to be married but why is this taking so long? and the longer he waits the more I question everything.
One other things it that I am considering purchasing an engagment ring for him. Not to make a point but so as to make him feel loved and engaged and valued. He would of course get a wedding band when that happen, but I would like to know what you think about me bringing a ring for him and maybe doing a propsal when we visit one of our favorite places.
Is it normal to know about the ring for 6 months and wait?