Post # 1
So my Girlfriend and I have been dating for a little less than 4 years, we met our first class in College and I instantly knew she was the one I wanted to be with! I just grafuated college and am currently part time as an Electrician, she does yoga so neither of us are swimming in cash. I have been able to save up about $7,000 so far and am thinking about buying an engagement ring. The problem is that I ONLY have $7,000 and I really don’t want to spend it all at once on something thats not all that necessary. I have decided to set a budget of $2,500 for her ring which I think is fair! You can debate this with me in DM or in the comments lol. We went ring shopping and the bands she likes are between $1,100 to $1,400 so that takes up half of my budget, but the bands include smaller diamonds already in it. I personally disagree that an engagement ring HAS to be a diamond seeing how their prices are sooo highly artificially inflated. I looked up alternatives and stumbled upon Moissanite! I think its an incredible alternative, I can get her a 1 carat stone to sit on top of her ring and have it look exactly like a diamond while still having money to spend on the proposal. I like to go big so the proposal has to be epic!
I talked to her slightly about diamond alternatives and she sounded disappointedd at the idea and said she never thought about having a stone other than a diamond in her engagement ring. I told her that since we don’t have a lot of money I would onky be able to afford to give her a small diamond seeing how I only have about $1,200 to spend on the stone. I looked at buying diamonds online and found a few diamonds for $1,400 that are excellent cut, J-L in color, IL or SI1/2 in clarity, and around 0.7 carats. After some more searching I found that I am able to get a Moissanite stone that is Excellent cut, E in color, VS in clarity, and 1.0 carat for around $500.
I love her with all my heart and want to get her a ring she is gonna dream about and be able to show off to all her family and friends. I want to get her a big enough stone but also have enough money to take her out to a fancy dinner, maybe even take a vacation to the place were thinking about moving to and proposing out there! I just don’t want to sound cheap if I get her a Moissanite ring instead of a diamond seeing how its gonna be bigger, brighter, clearer, sparklier, and less expensive. Please tell me what you think and if its worth getting her the smaller diamond or if I should get her the moissanite and promise to upgrade it to an equivalent diamond once we have the money.
Post # 2
Have you asked her if she cares whether or not it’s a diamond? FH has set a budget thinking of a diamond ring and once I started looking into the prices and quality of moissanite there was no turning back, but I love saving money more than I love being able to say I have a real diamond on my hand, haha.
edit to say, woops! For some reason my phone skipped the entire second paragraph my bad.
Post # 3
It sounds like you know she’ll be happier with a diamond, but are pushing moissanite be because you get more for cheaper.
She has to wear it. I’d say go for the diamond and include her in the process. Let her know your budget (or say a number slightly lower to surprise her with an even bigger stone than expected) and let her guide you over those tough calls. I think .7 is a lovely size.
Post # 4
Leave it to her to choose between a smaller diamond, or her ideal size moissanite. Then you don’t have to be the one making a “bad” decision.
I chose moissanite because the only part of getting married I was confident about is that the ring wouldn’t have a big diamond in it. But a lot of people, including your girlfriend, know a diamond as iconic in an engagement ring. So, she isn’t wrong, you aren’t wrong, but it is subjective. Most people who crave a diamond don’t seem to be happy if they do compromise with a clear alternative stone.
Post # 5
You could suggest moissanite or a small diamond and upgrading to a larger diamond in the future.
ETA: I just saw this option in the poll lol
Post # 6
I would go with a lab diamond! Another bee posted about Brilliant Earth and you can get an amazing diamond for less than $1k! It’s like the best of both worlds…. real diamond for an awesome price.
Post # 7
What did she say when you told her you could only afford a smaller diamond? If she has her heart set on a diamond then you should go with the diamond. If she says the size and specs matter more then go Moissy. But make sure whatever you buy shows you took her desires into consideration, not just your budget.
Post # 8
bnaumov : none of us are going to be able to tell you what she will be happy with. This is a conversation you need to have with her. If you’re mature enough to get married, you’re mature enough to sit down and have a discussion about budget and style and what you can get within that budget and make a decision together.
Honestly, rings really shouldn’t be a surprise anyway. It’s a huge investment – she should help you pick it out, as it will be on her finger. MOST of us had a huge role in picking out our rings, if not just outright chose one.
Post # 9
I’ve heard about lab grown diamonds but always assumed they were just as expensive or slightly less expensive than mined, I will definitely look into them as another option to keep us both happy! Thank you so much for the suggestion! Im gonna ask her to do her own research on the topic and tell me if she really wants a diamond, last thing I want is for her to feel hollow because she her engagement ring isnt “real”
Post # 10
Also thank you all for replying so quickly! This is my first time ever using a forum and really appreciate all you help cause this has been causing me a good amount of stress recently
Post # 11
Personally I would rather a smaller diamond than a moissy. I would be very disappointed if I didnt get a diamond, even a small half carat one would be lovely. But it is up to her. You should ask her out right and get the lady what she wants 😉
Post # 12
Have you looked at Blue Nile or James Allen online? They have some good options with cushion cut diamonds that are VS2 and near colourless around .70 – .80 carats that come to around $2500 with a band that has some diamonds.
Post # 13
There’s nothing wrong with a moissanite for the woman who wants one; there’s everything wrong with moissanite for the woman who does not. i agree with the PP about looking into James Allen or Blue Nile to get the most diamond for your budget.
Post # 14
Agree with looking at more options like Blue Nile. Your gf stated she wanted a diamond and that’s understandable. But don’t argue/reason with her on why you think getting a moissanite is better. Let her choose between a smaller diamond vs a moissanite.
Post # 15
A diamond that is set within a halo will look bigger on her finger, like in the first picture posted above. I agree with the recommendations to let her be part of the selection process, and agree with Blue Nile or James Allen. You can get more for your money if you buy online.