Engagement Ring Issue!!!

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
  • poll: Which Ring should I Buy?
    Diamond : (52 votes)
    79 %
    Moissanite : (7 votes)
    11 %
    Moissanite and Upgrade to Diamond Later : (7 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 31
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    bnaumov :  I’m not 100% certain, but I don’t think all mined diamonds are blood diamonds! I personally would rather a mined diamond than and lab grown diamond, but that is just me, and I suspect if your Girlfriend isn’t interested in a moissanite she might not be entirely pumped on a lab grown diamond, for whatever reason, it just doesn’t have the same allure to me.

    However, you definitly don’t need to spend $1400 on the diamond setting, you can get beautiful ones on blue nile, or james allen etc, and add it a diamond of your price range, as i already saw someone gave you a great looking option! 

    Post # 32
    48 posts
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Ok great, if she will be happy with that option then that is all that matters. Personally I would be hung up on a traditional natural diamond I’d rather a sapphire than something man made in all honesty but that’s just me. What she wants and what you are happy with as a couple is all that matters

    Post # 33
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I’m just really curious as to why you would save 7k for an engagement ring then only want to spend $2500? Buy preowned if you want a good deal especially because she WANTS a real diamond (you better believe she will at some point have a store test it) you can get the ring dipped and polish and it will look brand new. 

    To answer your question, yes ask her if she wants a lab grown. That is what my husband and I discussed and he went with diamond nexus and paid a high price for a CZ because of how it is marketed as a lab grown diamond.  

    Post # 34
    3789 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    I would talk to her again and see if she would rather a lab grown diamond or something that was warmer in color. 

    SO was really not interested in diamond alternatives but I didn’t want him spending a whole bunch. I found a local jeweler that used an online diamond market so I could look at all the options and their respective price points (millions of diamonds in all different specs) and decide what I was happy with. I chose a .90 ct J VVS2 excellent cut for $2400. This is compared to a .70ct H VVS2 excellent cut for $2200. The J and H colors really didn’t look that different to me in person, and because I wanted a solitaire, I wanted something a little more substantial. Now I’m wondering if it’s going to look too big on my hand! lol. Here is a comparison between the J (left) & H (right) colors. In my opinion, it was totally worth sacrificing the higher color value for the bigger carat weight.


    Moral of my story: Don’t be afraid of warmer colors (they actually have more depth to me) and just talk to your girl! She has to wear this for a very long time, so some input from her would be good. SO wanted my ring to be a surprise, but quickly realized I’m quite picky and he didn’t really know much about rings so we ended up choosing it together and it was really fun!

    Post # 35
    135 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think you can buy a lab diamond without asking her.  You probably have a decent idea as to whether she would care about that.  Also seconding the idea to look at second hand.  There are some nice ones on therealreal in your price range.  And do not feel pressured to spend all your savings on a ring!






    Post # 36
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    bnaumov :  Sorry to say, yes there are people who would only want a mined diamond not a lab diamond. Better to find out sooner rather than later if your girl is one of them. 

    I think you’re wise not to wipe out your whole savings for this, and I don’t think it’s reasonable or gracious for her to demand a higher budget (or size/quality requirements that add up to the same thing). But yes, crazy as it may seem to some of us, she might not want a lab diamond even though it’s atomically the same thing.

    If she nixes the lab diamond, also see if she’s open to a preowned/vintage ring as that’s an excellent way to find something more reasonably priced. Good luck man.

    Post # 37
    250 posts
    Helper bee

    Look into marquise cut!! Not everyone loves marquise, but they face up a good amount larger than other diamond cuts of the same carat weight. I was obsessed with marquise diamonds after seeing a beautiful one on a simple diamond band. If you went with this cut you can get a .70 that faces up a lot closer to a one carat! In fact, one carat marquises tends to look really large!

    Here is an example ring I made on James Allen. It includes the diamond, the setting, cost of both together, and cost of adding a diamond band. It comes in under budget and will appear larger than a .70 diamond. I also added a comparison of the size difference of a round vs marquise at .70 carats. 

    If she’s open to yellow gold, I’d lean toward that with the lower colored stone. It’ll help it appear more colorless in contrast with the band.

    Dont forget to do lots of research on what to look for in a diamond, cut wise. Especially with marquise (avoid a dark band in the center).

    Good luck and happy hunting!!!

    Post # 38
    250 posts
    Helper bee

    Looks like the diamond picture didn’t post correctly! Here it is 

    Post # 39
    2485 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Everyone’s throwing out ideas, but the fact is that none of us know your what your GIRLFRIEND wants. YOU don’t even know what she wants, beyond “diamond” and some setting ideas.

    I suggest sitting down with her and asking – what size she prefers, shape, color, etc. It doesn’t have to be unromantic. You can plan a candlelit dinner and brin gup the conversation and refer to it as yoru “pre-proposal” or something cutesy like that. 

    My vote is for buying a “used” ring or diamond. It will be a real, mined diamond, and there will be great cost savings for being after market. 

    However, to do that, you’ll need to know that she’s ok with it, and what her preferences are. 

    I did a quick search and found the following rings in your budget:








    Or if you want to get a stone to set it one of the setting she chose, this transitional is really really pretty: http://www.loveaffairdiamonds.com/1-25ct-transitional-cut-diamond-gia-l-vvs2-w-medium-fluoro/

    (But again, you’d need to know if she’s ok with an L color.)

    More stones:


    Post # 40
    102 posts
    Blushing bee

    Second PP that you absolutely do need to have the conversation. She may be totally up for a lab diamond but at the same time she may have have her mind set on a real mined diamond. Worst case scenario you buy it and she doesn’t like it. 

    Post # 41
    1005 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    bnaumov :  You sound like you know your stuff. I’m not sure if this is information that you’re aware of, but the carat vs cost curve is not linear, but rather there are dips and spikes that trend upwards. There are some sizes that are considered odd, even though they are huge. A 1 carat will sell, but a 0.96 will struggle in the market because it’s SO CLOSE but not enough (even though you’re not going to tell a difference). If you’re looking for a 0.7, find a 0.68 instead.

    find a custom jeweler. My fiance went to a place that keeps zero precious material in their inventory, they are located in an office building (keeps security and insurance costs low) and their model is to create 3-D CAD drawings of rings, 3-D print the mold, poor the metal into the mold to create a solid piece and then order a diamond from a trusted market. Their overhead is LOW and you get to benefit from the cost savings.

    Post # 42
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    bnaumov :  Get her a genuine diamond,  you said she was disappointed when you mentioned getting her a simulant. Some moissanite gets an unpleasant recurring rainbow stain. Often people can tell they’re not diamonds because of their splintery cut and colorful sparkle. (Although no one is likely to say anything directly..)

    Check out Debeers https://lightboxjewelry.com. Starting next month you can get a genuine lab diamond for $800 a carat!!  Good luck, keep us posted!

    Post # 43
    2115 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    bnaumov :  I think a lab diamond is perfectly fine! You know what she would like, and you’ll be able to get something nice for her in her price range. I’m sorry people are shooting down your idea on here, you sounded so excited! 

    PS, all this snobbery over a mined diamond vs a lab is why I went with a sapphire! 😜 

    Post # 44
    8 posts

    You’ve gotten some great advice from other bees regarding this, and I think the takeaway of talking to your girlfriend is the most important point!

    Regarding the mined vs. lab diamond, yes, I would still bring it up to her particularly because The DeBeers Lightbox line is selling only ungraded diamonds in settings—no loose diamonds, no rings, no diamonds over one carat. There are plenty of other lab diamond resources that do sell loose lab diamonds or lab diamonds in ring settings, but the Lightbox release might change the game. There is talk that this is a move to devalue the market on lab diamonds generally to make them seem more like costume jewelry and less precious, as though they are “less of a diamond.” I think it’s stupid and annoying, personally. However, De Beers’ move could impact the value of your girlfriend’s ring (and your investment) over the life of the piece of jewelry. Not a big deal for some people, but could make a difference for your girlfriend. Just something to think about. This thread has a good deal of discussion on the point:


    Post # 45
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    bnaumov :  I would also see if a local jeweler can make the setting she wants for cheaper. 

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