(Closed) Engagement ring issues

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

On your wedding, Ask him to get you a bridal set

consisting of both engagement ring & wedding band.

You can get ones called ” perfect fit “

and the’re made to sit snug next to eachother =)

Good Luck & sorry to hear hes being a fool lol

 

xoxo

Post # 33
Member
6262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I would just get a band you really like that can stand on its own, and wear the e-ring on your right hand

Post # 35
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

Yikes I’m appalled by his childlike reaction. 

Post # 36
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
@Briarroselex:  I am SO SO SO SORRY you are going through this. And the fact that he is posting that kind of comment on FB? He is acting like a child stomping his feet until you apologize to him on your hands and knees and say you were so wrong in this situtation. You are not in the wrong here. You are human and just like any other woman who wants everything about her “happily ever after” to be absolutely perfect- from the proposal to the ring to the the I do’s. Nearly every girl dreams of this time of her life and it’s really unfair that he’s acting like this over something as little as a ring. I understand he is upset- but you even offered to compromise and use the setting with a bigger/different stone. Relationships are about compromise from both parties and I would be scared if he wasn’t willing to compromise here to make you happy. good luck sweetie! 

Post # 37
Member
764 posts
Busy bee

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@dewingedpixie:  its easy to sit on your throne and say what you ” would have done” when you’re not the one experiencing it. In my opinion, this is the ONE time someone SHOULD get what she wants and if its not an heirloom, it shouldn’t be forced upon her and then a funky  attitude taken when she didn’t fall to her knees with grafitute. If the conversation of what she wanted came up-which she claims it did, he should have ASKED her thoughts on heirlooms.  I beleive Heirlooms can be gifted SEPARATLEY..as a wedding present or something. 

Post # 38
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

Yeah, he seems like a huge a**hole. Are you sure you even want to walk down the aisle with him? It seems like his true colors might be coming out…and that’s scary.

Post # 39
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

I feel really bad for you! Becoming engaged is supposed to be a happy time, and your SO is making it extremely negative. Communication is so important, and it sucks that he is not able to even talk about this, and work out a compromise so you both are happy!

Given the situation you are in, I like the idea about a wedding band with colors that compliment  the stone’s natural color. I love the aquamarine one (I’m a march girl, so I’m partial!)

speaking on personal experiences, marriages aren’t always the best when there is a lot of one sidedness.  (With my ex, it was all take and no give on his end. Didn’t turn out well!)

i hope this is an isolated incident, and everything works its self out! I’m sorry this was an upsetting experience for you! When you feel better, post a picture!!!!

Post # 40
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

Wow..He sounds a bit jerky! I would get a real nic, princess cuts that you like, wedding band. Just wear that alone. Put the heirloom away for just special occasions. Get a 2mm plain band and wear it with the diamond weddin band daily and wear the plain with the heirloom at special times!

Post # 41
Member
3101 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@dewingedpixie:  

Box chains sell crap, sorry to say.

I did not buy from a box chain, but this is so hurtful to those Bees who did!  Are you just trying to make them feel bad about themselves?  Do you truly believe this to be universally true?

When you die that rock wont miss you, if you’re lucky and a good human others will love you and miss you.

What a morbid thing to say!  Are you always this cheery on Sundays?

Post # 42
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m surprised by the amount of bees who think it is not appropriate for the giver of a conditional gift to pick it by himself and be upset when it is seen as not good enough (particularly when it’s an heirloom ring). I don’t think this represents the typical attitude in the real world. I think that pushing to exchange an heirloom ring for something else may be seen as very materialistic among a large proportion of people. They may not be here on the bee but I can certainly see how the OP’s fiancé is feeling hurt and angry that she’s reacting that way to his conditional gift, and have I difficulty seeing how he could possibly be being selfish or a horrible person because he feels that way.

OP, I’m not saying it’s necessarily materialistic to have preferred a different type of ring in an ideal world, but we don’t always get in the real world what we’d have preferred in an ideal world. This man comes with this ring. I suggest you ask yourself: Do you want both or neither? Decide, and make your peace with your decision.

Post # 43
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

Ok, just saw the part about him posting an Emo status update to FB, that is kinda lame. However, I don’t think that suddenly makes him a horrible person… just kinda lame.

Post # 44
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

View original reply
@ceebree:  Ok a better way to put it would be box chains dont sell the best quality for the money you spend. I am not a cheery person typically its not what I’m known for.

 

And as for the death statement that is pretty typical of me. I truly do focus on my family and friends becaues as much as I do like nice things in the end none of that really matters.

Edited to add I’ve gotten crochetty in my old age, particularly when my chronic pain is acting up.

Post # 45
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 

View original reply
@Briarroselex:  I agree with other poster- I would either find another place and get the diamond band you want, or go with some color for a band, I would love rubies!

 

on a side note, my ring is a G centerstone and it looked pretty yellow when I went into jewlers in the mall- so I think its the lighting

 

 

 

Post # 46
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

View original reply
@blingbling:  Considering 1 I didnt receive an engagement ring with my first marriage, 2 I actually showed my fiance cheaper rings than what he bought because I felt it was too expensive, 3 we considered a vintage piece because of how I felt about cost and herritage I think I can stand pretty tall in what I said. Some of my most prized possessions are heirlooms, some of which have little if no value beyond heritage and memories. Yet if a fire ripped through my house and I could grab 5 things I’d grab my engagement ring, the 2 violins that were my grandfathers,  the jewlery box that was my grandmothers and holds much of her things that I inherited, and my cat. I’d let the first edition  rare books the many other pieces of jewelery that my fiance has bought me, the fine china, the antique tea cups, my many strange collectables, my road/tri bike, etc all go. Why? Because they’re all replaceable in the end. Even a first edition mark twain is replaceable those violins however are not, nor are her things. Why? Because they’re gone and they’re the only link I have to them left. I’m an extremely sentimental person that is precisely why my fiance bought the ring he bought because he knew I’d never let him upgrade.

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