Engagement Ring issues

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 3
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee

Ask him about his ring budget! You never know.

Post # 4
Member
599 posts
Busy bee

Sell the first ring and apply the costs to the new ring 😉 

Post # 6
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think you have a lot of options here. I’d take the ring honestly. His money was already wasted and the girl never wore it, I’d rather have a nicer ring. A lot of my guy friends have divorced and remarried- and every time the 2nd engagement ring and wedding  was cheaper. I felt bad for the brides, like they were cheated.

Post # 7
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Does this jeweler not offer an upgrade? Many places will take back a ring and apply the purchase price to a new ring as long as it is more expensive. Otherwise sell the damn thing – what is the point of having a custom made box of bad memories sitting in a drawer in your place? Move on, sell it, and go on with your life. Discuss this with him. 

I had held on to my wedding set from my first husband for a while – I don’t know why I simply couldn’t let it go. But I finally realized that I was holding onto the memories that were associated with it, specifically the hurt and anger that went along with them. When I finally took them and sold them, it was like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders, a weight I didn’t even know I carried. Purge, baby purge. 

Post # 8
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee

Any chance the designer might be willing to take the old ring as a trade-in?  Or could the existing ring be modiied a bit to make it feel like a ‘new’ ring?

In your shoes, I’d probably happily take the old ring (assuming I like the particular style), but I don’t tend to be very sentimental.  

Would it help if, instead of thinking of it as the ring he bought for his ex… as the ring he bought for his future wife (you)?  Kind of a Cinderella shoe thing… the ring didn’t “fit” the previous ex, but it fits you perfectly.  

Post # 9
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Keep the rock and have the jeweler set it new?

Post # 10
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Why is the ring in a box somewhere in the closet? It seems only logical that he should sell. Then he can put the money toward a ring for you.

Post # 11
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

I wouldn’t want her ring either, it would bother me that it was intended for someone else. I don’t get why it matters how much he spends though, he should get you what you like. If you like a ring that’s less expensive than hers who cares? 

Post # 12
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Another vote for sell/trade&upgrade the old ring and buy something you both like!

Post # 13
Member
2846 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I personally would not want her ring either but comparing the two really isn’t fair to your bf. There are a multitude of reasons why someone could spend more at one time than they could at another. Could you sell the old ring and put that money towards getting you one in the next price bracket? 

Post # 14
Member
566 posts
Busy bee

Has he said he’s going to buy you a cheaper ring? Have you actually discussed a budget, what makes you so sure he’s not going to get you one in the same price range?

I wouldn’t want a second hand ring but I’d be happy for it to be sold and the money put towards a new ring.

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