Post # 16
My friend was proposed too with an heirloom ring, she really wanted her own ring though so got one custom made and wore the heirloom one as a right right hand ring. $500 isn’t too much, I would ask him to do that! I would also be mostly upset that he didn’t listen to you or explain why he still gave you the heirloom ring. Was it a money issue or pressure from the family or is he just thoughtless?!
Post # 17
I’d be curious to see it. Could it be worn instead as your wedding band? And the garnet as your engagement ring?
Post # 18
Hi again! I’m so grateful for all of the replies! I have a fake ring, similar to the one I want. I put it on, based on the suggestions. I was so excited, because I think my engagement ring looks more like a wedding band- sadly, they look TERRIBLE together!
I also wanted to clarify- we spoke this afternoon. He feels awful that I’m not head over heels in love. As I hoped, he gave it to me for several reasons:
1. It’s been in his family for 140 years, and the sentimentality of it meant so much to him.
2. He couldn’t afford the ring I want- right now. However, he said that given some recent events (I had to move an hour away a few months ago), he couldn’t picture his life without me. Me moving made him realize he wanted me with him, full time, and soon. So he gave me this ring so that we could start planning and get our lives on with.
That eases my mind a lot, to be honest. To know that he couldn’t wait another 3 or 4 months to save up is sweet, I think. And we agreed that I’ll get the garnet ring when we can.
Pictures because I thoughtlessly didn’t include them first! First is the heirloom, second is the garnet.
Post # 19
psyche13 : I don’t know if you’ll find this helpful, but I love the heirloom ring!!! I love the Edwardian style and it looks so unique compared to what is current right now (but I personally think they’re going to be popular again). It’s a beautiful ring, you can always wear it as a right hand ring when you get your dream ring, if that’s what’s you decide.
Post # 20
psyche13 : the heirloom ring is very unique to say the least, I hope you get your dream ring!
Post # 21
Wow. I absolutely LOVE the heirloom, and oh my, it’s been in his family 140 years?! That’s incredible. What a gift. I thought PP’s suggestion of replacing a diamond with a garnet was a great idea until I saw it and heard that it’s 140 Years old…yeah you can’t touch that!
But it was thoughtless, to say the least, to propose to you when you told him you didn’t want it. It means squat that I love it, it’s your ring and you have to wear it! I also think it kinda sucks that he proposed with it planning on getting another one…could have been saved for a sibling or someone who would have loved it.
If there’s no one else to give it to, then I would get a super dainty band of garnets to use as a wedding ring or would wear alternate wearing it with the one you really love. It’s such an incredible piece, but so is the ring you actually want. If there’s someone else to give it to, give it to them. That ring deserves some love, but you deserve a ring you actually want!
Post # 22
He didn’t forget you hated the ring- he tried to lie and pass it off, he totally gaslighted you!! I wouldn’t wear that damn ring, and I’d call his manipulative ass out on this crap! If he thinks he got away with this he’ll think he can get away with anything. No way would I start a marriage like this.
Post # 23
psyche13 : when the time comes to get your dream ring if recommend looking for one with a bezel around the garnet, just to protect it a bit, since they are only 7 on the Mohs scale.
Post # 24
I would keep the family ring but also get the one I want… and wear them both. Probably on different hands or maybe there’s a way to make the family one the wedding band and the one you want as the Ering. Surely there’s a way to keep and love both ? Even if it means getting the one you want yourself..
Post # 25
psyche13 : Why couldn’t he have proposed with a garnet solitaire and asked that you wear this as your wedding band? Like.. present both in the same box?
Post # 26
I think it’s sweet that he couldn’t wait, the ring he proposed with is so beautiful! At least he agreed to get you the one you wanted later on. I’d probably save the heirloom to wear at family events and special occasions, I can’t imagine losing or damaging something of that much importance to his family.
Post # 27
I also think that it sweet that he cannot wait to be engaged so you can start planning. No I don’t think it’s manipulative since he promise to buy you the garnet ring. It’s a good compromized doesn’t it? Heirloom/tradition can be important for some people, as I would love to have one lol.
Congratzz on your engagement!!!!
Post # 28
I LOVE the heirloom ring and actually prefer it to the garnet.
Congrats on your engagement!!!