Engagement ring problem

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

My friend was proposed too with an heirloom ring, she really wanted her own ring though so got one custom made and wore the heirloom one as a right right hand ring. $500 isn’t too much, I would ask him to do that! I would also be mostly upset that he didn’t listen to you or explain why he still gave you the heirloom ring. Was it a money issue or pressure from the family or is he just thoughtless?!

Post # 17
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I’d be curious to see it. Could it be worn instead as your wedding band? And the garnet as your engagement ring?

Post # 19
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

psyche13 :  I don’t know if you’ll find this helpful, but I love the heirloom ring!!! I love the Edwardian style and it looks so unique compared to what is current right now (but I personally think they’re going to be popular again). It’s a beautiful ring, you can always wear it as a right hand ring when you get your dream ring, if that’s what’s you decide.

Post # 20
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

psyche13 :  the heirloom ring is very unique to say the least, I hope you get your dream ring!

Post # 21
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Wow. I absolutely LOVE the heirloom, and oh my, it’s been in his family 140 years?! That’s incredible. What a gift. I thought PP’s suggestion of replacing a diamond with a garnet was a great idea until I saw it and heard that it’s 140 Years old…yeah you can’t touch that!

But it was thoughtless, to say the least, to propose to you when you told him you didn’t want it. It means squat that I love it, it’s your ring and you have to wear it! I also think it kinda sucks that he proposed with it planning on getting another one…could have been saved for a sibling or someone who would have loved it. 

If there’s no one else to give it to, then I would get a super dainty band of garnets to use as a wedding ring or would wear alternate wearing it with the one you really love. It’s such an incredible piece, but so is the ring you actually want. If there’s someone else to give it to, give it to them. That ring deserves some love, but you deserve a ring you actually want! 

Post # 22
Member
1781 posts
Buzzing bee

He didn’t forget you hated the ring- he tried to lie and pass it off, he totally gaslighted you!! I wouldn’t wear that damn ring, and I’d call his manipulative ass out on this crap! If he thinks he got away with this he’ll think he can get away with anything. No way would I start a marriage like this.

Post # 23
Member
2668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

psyche13 :  when the time comes to get your dream ring if recommend looking for one with a bezel around the garnet, just to protect it a bit, since they are only 7 on the Mohs scale. 

Post # 24
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

I would keep the family ring but also get the one I want… and wear them both. Probably on different hands or maybe there’s a way to make the family one the wedding band and the one you want as the Ering. Surely there’s a way to keep and love both ? Even if it means getting the one you want yourself..

Post # 25
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

psyche13 :  Why couldn’t he have proposed with a garnet solitaire and asked that you wear this as your wedding band? Like.. present both in the same box? 

Post # 26
Member
10 posts
Newbee

I think it’s sweet that he couldn’t wait, the ring he proposed with is so beautiful! At least he agreed to get you the one you wanted later on. I’d probably save the heirloom to wear at family events and special occasions, I can’t imagine losing or damaging something of that much importance to his family.

Post # 27
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I also think that it sweet that he cannot wait to be engaged so you can start planning. No I don’t think it’s manipulative since he promise to buy you the garnet ring. It’s a good compromized doesn’t it? Heirloom/tradition can be important for some people, as I would love to have one lol.

Congratzz on your engagement!!!!

Post # 28
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

I LOVE the heirloom ring and actually prefer it to the garnet.

Congrats on your engagement!!!

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