Engagement Ring Struggle: Too Similar to Future SILs?

posted 1 year ago in Rings
  • poll: Would getting a ring similar to future SIL’s be tacky/weird?
    Yes : (7 votes)
    5 %
    No : (123 votes)
    95 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    43 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Since it’s a solitare, which is a very classic and common ring, I’m not thinking it’s tacky/too similar.

    If it was something more unique, such as an oval sapphire with a twisted band and a halo or something, it’d be a little suspicious but if that’s what you both like, whatever.

    Post # 32
    Member
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    catmom04 :  Have his sisters expressed to him that it would “hurt their feelings” or “offend” them if you got a similar ring?? If not, he’s probably just being a dumb guy assuming that this is an issue for women when it really isn’t. 

    Don’t add any details, or get a different shape because he *thinks* they might get upset,

    Post # 35
    Member
    6023 posts
    Bee Keeper

    catmom04 :  Hugs right back to you! I hope you are able to recapture the excitement and fun of ring shopping and your impending engagement.

    Post # 36
    Member
    1969 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Solitaries are pretty similar/same as a style as a whole. It’s a center stone with metal. The only differences are center stone shape, carat, color, and metal color really.

    Post # 37
    Member
    300 posts
    Helper bee

    I think if you wanted a ring that was similar to a very unique style of ring that belonged to your future SIL then yes it would be tacky. However to have a style that is copied the world over like a simple solitaire then no.

    My SIL copied my first e-ring, which was a three stone set with a knife edge band however mine had a champagne diamond center and she had all colorless stones. At the time I was flattered I guess, and because it’s such a “common” style I don’t think I could assumed ownership over the design. I mean she’s an absolute cow but that’s not about having a similar engagement ring! LOL.

    Post # 38
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Round isn’t just the most popular shape, it’s literally the majority of engagement rings sold. For over a century, there has been more effort put into optimizing light return for round cuts than any other. Rounds seriously dominate the diamond world.

    It’s fully absurd of him (or anyone else) to expect you to choose another cut. It’s like saying your favorite ice cream flavor can’t be chocolate or vanilla because his sisters already “claimed” those. It makes literally no sense. What you’re saying about his attitude towards his sisters/mom vs you is worrying actually. But he has no leg to stand on asking you to pick another shape, that’s insane. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    380 posts
    Helper bee

    This sounds crazy to me! Not the OP, but OP’s fiance’s logic. Round solitaires are seen as THE classic engagement ring nowadays, you see them everywhere. If that’s what you truly like most and see suiting yourself, he shouldn’t have an issue. And his sisters’ thoughts on your ring really shouldn’t matter. I myself have a four prong round solitaire that I adore. My two best friends also have them- one with and one without diamond sidestones. And at my friend’s wedding recently, all the bridesmaids minus one had round solitaires on plain bands. It’s silly to have to avoid getting that, especially for that reason. Plus you want yellow gold which will make it different. But even if you didn’t, it shouldn’t matter. Can you frame it that way to your fiance? 

    Post # 40
    Member
    1244 posts
    Bumble bee

    Nothing wrong with having similar taste. Get what you love! 

    Post # 41
    Member
    4539 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    catmom04 :  I would say to your FF that they can’t be too worried about copying or being unique as they both chose a variation on a solitaire. Usually if rivalry and uniqueness was a thing with his sisters they would be very careful to pick something very different to each other. They haven’t done this so his concern about this is not a real thing..

    Also as an aside, I have lots of sisters and our tastes tend to run similar. Its happened more often than you’d think that between my sisters and my mom, we’ve purchased the same pair of shoes, pants, top and even a handbag by accident. None of us  live together anymore and we’ve gone out shopping and purchased the same item without even knowing or having seen it on the other person. I once rocked up wearing the same shoe as my sister to a wedding. We’d both purchased them new for the wedding. My mom and I purchased the same top but in different colors. I had the green and blue she’d bought the black and grey. We both wore it to my uncles birthday where my aunt (moms SIL) had on the same top!! 😂😂😂 Unless its bespoke, then your not copying…you just have the same taste!! 

    Post # 42
    Member
    173 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    Whoever voted yes must not have actually read your post and saw what you were describing was the most classic design everrrr lol. I love the idea of yellow gold and even adding a touch of uniqueness with hidden details like a fancy basket or peek a boo diamonds or a colored gem in the profile. 

    Have you gotten to try on ovals or other cuts to know that you absolutely want a round? If not you might surprise yourself and fall in love with something you didn’t consider 

    Post # 43
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - Saint Louis, MO

    catmom04 :  I could see if they both had some rare cut and you decided to copy but a solitaire cut is so popular for a reason it is a timeless classic. In addition when you get your wedding band choose something different that is a statement piece!

    Post # 44
    Member
    3884 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    It’s not like it’s a custom ruby in the shape of a seahorse with a halo of black diamonds. It’s a solitaire. It’s like saying you can’t wear blue because they also wear blue. He probably doesn’t realise how many engagement rings are round solitaires… 

    Post # 45
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    futuremrs2020 :  I agree! It’d be different if it was a custom ring. If you stick with something trendy/ common it’s no big deal if it’s similar. 

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