Engagement Ring Struggle: Too Similar to Future SILs?

posted 6 months ago in Rings
  • poll: Would getting a ring similar to future SIL’s be tacky/weird?
    Yes : (7 votes)
    5 %
    No : (123 votes)
    95 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee

    You should get what you want! All of my friends have white gold four prong solitaire rings. We have different shaped stones but unless you’re really up close looking you’d never know the difference. And Brilliant Earth has so many beautiful styles I’m sure you could find a solitaire ring with a little extra something to help make yours stand out. But honestly even if you go the exact same round cut four prong solitaire I really don’t see the issue. They are beautiful and classic! 

    Post # 47
    Member
    495 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Honestly, I can’t wrap my head around any scenario where my FH’s opinion about the style of ring I will be wearing would carry more weight than mine. 

    When we started shopping it went like this.  Him:  I’d like to keep it under X dollars.  Me:  ok, what do you think of this style?  Him:  that’s pretty.  What about this one?  Me:  I don’t really care for that because (insert whatever reason I didn’t care for the ring he pointed out).  Him: ok.  Me:  this is the one.  Him: ok. 

    Maybe I’m wrong and I don’t know what your relationship is about, but it feels controlling and unhealthy to me that a man would completely disregard my opinion on something that will be on my finger for the rest of my life. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    798 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I preferred a round, brillant BECAUSE my sister and mom both have one. I wanted something timeless. My setting isn’t identical because it isn’t from the same store (my sister’s was an heirloom, mom’s ring is a 6 prong, and mine is a 4 prong with hidden diamond).

    Get what you like.

    Post # 49
    Member
    848 posts
    Busy bee

    Get what you want! I have a Tiffany 6 prong round brilliant solitaire which is very common and that doesn’t make me love my ring any less. You’re the one who will be looking at your ring every time, so it should be something you enjoy!

    Post # 50
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee

    I had this same conversation with my S/O, except I had the guilty feeling. His SIL has a 4 prong 1ct round solitaire.. S/O and I have decided to do a custom 6 prong 1.2ct round solitaire. I don’t want her to think Im copying her when it comes to the round solitaire.. As my S/O said “Fuck her. Get what YOU like. YOU will be the one wearing this forever. I want you to love the ring I propose to you with.”

    Post # 51
    Member
    954 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    catmom04 : did you try ovals, there a close to round but faces bigger.

    Post # 52
    Hostess
    3610 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    catmom04 :  My sister and I both have solitares and I wouldn’t think twice about my future SIL having a similar ring.  I did have a friend who went nuts when I got a similar ring as her, but I think she’s an outlier.  I wouldn’t change your preference over that! 

    Post # 53
    Member
    86 posts
    Worker bee

    If it was something more unusual like a marquise cut or an unusual setting then maybe but its a round freakin’ solitaire. Literally, THE MOST popular setting ever. Also being as you are ‘family’ soon why should your wants/feelings be of any less consideration than his sisters? Would they are actually even care, or is this something he is pushing on you because that’s what he prefers for budget/preference using that as an excuse?

    The end of the day, it’s you that wears the ring for the rest of your life, it’s got to be something you are happy with. If that’s what you want really that should be what you get, because he is choosing you. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    1299 posts
    Bumble bee

    Like others have said, get what you want/love!  Don’t worry about what the others have.  All the women in my family and I have solitaires so yes, very similar to one another in terms of taste, however we all have slightly different settings and sizes in the diamond.  To me, I don’t feel my ring looks anything like what my sister or sisters-in-law have even though we are all rocking solitaires!

    Post # 55
    Member
    2826 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    What a silly thing to be concerned about, IMO.

    Pick a ring that you like. If it happens to be similar in style to someone elses, so what?

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