Post # 1
Last month I asked about wearing my engagement ring to interview for a new job, and being concerned about needing wedding/honeymoon time off. I said I would follow up to let those of you know who also wondered…
I have gone on 6 different interviews and worn it to all of them. I actually didn’t think twice about putting it on, I dressed in my suit and jewelry and it felt natural to wear it.
Here’s the breakdown- out of 6 different companies, two asked me about it on the first interview (one asked how long I had been married, said he had noticed my ring,I explained I wasn’t yet, but would be in October) (Second actually commented on my "rock", when was I "getting hitched") both were surprisingly men who noticed!!
Two didn’t say a word about it, and the final two were positions I was offered, where in turn vacation time was discussed, and both HR’s looked at my finger and said, you are probably looking for time off to get married- one company was very flexible- you can take the time you need (paid vacation, and extra non-paid time off.) The other company I could borrow time off from the following year, but they felt 3 weeks was too long.
Anyway, I turned down both offers (I am holding out for what I want-it’s a huge part of life and want to be happy.)
I am on round 3 of a company I really like, so I am wondering, if negotiations take place, how long is too long to ask for wedding/honeymoon? We’ve shortened it to leave for our out of state wedding on a Tuesday night, and then taking the next two full weeks after for our honeymoon. Is 13 days to much to expect? (we’re going to Africa, so it’s a loooonng flight)
Would love to hear how long everyone is going on their honeymoons and how their employers were about it…
Post # 3
I’ve decided to take 7 days right after the wedding in July. Then we are taking another 7 days in Dec. In my industry July and Dec are the slower months. But I’m the only one that can do my job and being off for 2 wks together would be hard on my company and people in my dept. I’m fine with splitting since it feels like we are getting two honeymoons that way!
13 days does seem like a lot a days to take off. But sounds like you already have the trip planned. Maybe you will have to wait til after the wedding to get a job? Or at least the job you want! Hopefully you find the company that you want to work at and the one that will let you take that much time off your first year of work!
Post # 4
I am taking off 14 days, but my job is very flexible. Good luck!
Post # 5
I think 3 weeks is a long time to ask off at a job you’re just starting (even unpaid). I think I’m taking 10 days off (thursday, Friday, go to work on Monday or Tuesday, leave on Wed take of the whole next week and back to week on Monday) But it depends on the type of job you’re applying for – does someone have to cover for you when you’re out or not?
I know I have to be so prepared to go on vacation I’d rather just come in that Monday/ Tuesday to make sure everything is wrapped up than be stressing about work the Wed before the wedding.
I actually know at least one girl that stayed with a job she wanted to leave just to have the vacation time for the honeymoon and another that waited to start at my work until after the honeymoon.
Good luck with the search.
Post # 6
I think 3 weeks or 13 days is too long also. I am concerned about the same thing because I’m looking for a job after graduation from grad school in December so I’ll either still be job searching or will have just started a job when I need to turn around and take time off. I plan to just take 8 or 9 days though, Thursday and Friday, then a full week and come back the next Tuesday or Wednesday.
Post # 7
Also, I was thinking this when I first read your post, I believe it is illegal for employers to ask about marriage in an interview or as a qualification for employment. It’s up there with age, disabillity, children, etc. This is in Texas and it might vary from state to state, but they aren’t supposed to use those things in determining whether or not to hire you.
Post # 8
Not sure what state you are in but in California its illegal to ask job applicants whether they are married. That’s what my former employer used to tell me anyways. I once asked about someone’s marital status just for conversation during an interview and got in trouble w/ my employer.
As for taking time off, I plan on taking 3-4 weeks off to prepare for the wedding and for vacation. I’ve been w/ the same company for about 5 years so not surprisingly they’re being cool about it.
Good luck w/ the interviews! You sound like you’re almost there (w/ 3 rounds and all)! =)
Post # 9
it does seems like a bit of a stretch to be asking your new company for nearly 2 weeks off.
perhaps you could split your honeymoon in 2 like the above bride?
i’ll be moving to my FH city after our wedding and am having a hard time trying to decide when to begin my job hunt up there, when i should start, ect. if at all possible, i’m going to try to start in December a full month after my wedding date, bc i need to time to move.
Good 4 you! holding out for the perfect job!
Post # 10
Aside from taking time off, does anyone have any insight as to whether or not to wear your Engagement Ring to interviews?
Of course employers are NOT allowed to ask about your marital status (my understanding is that this is a federal law, not a state-to-state thing), but I think that with the E-Ring being a visual cue, it’s impossible for an interviewer NOT to notice it or make inferences about you and your plans.
I don’t plan on wearing mine to interviews simply because I work in a profession where you are expected to work VERY long hours. While I’m very proud of my relationship and my FH, I don’t want there to be ANY chance that an employer will take that into account. Thoughts?
Post # 11
I plan on taking the friday before the wedding and then the next two weeks (so that is a total of 11 working days), regardless of whether I am at my current job or a new job. My logic is its the only time we will ever be able to justify taking 2 straight weeks off. Marriage and honeymoon are once in a life time things, and I would regret not taking the time to fully enjoy it. Esp if the reason was for a job that obviously didnt give a darn about me to begin with if they were giving me a hard time about taking more then 5 days of vacation!
Post # 12
I guess it depends on what sort of job it is. With my husband’s job either him or another guy HAVE to be there. So when one of them take’s the leave, the other one has to scrub in on every case and wear lead all day long. NOT FUN. So they try not to leave the other on their own for too long. My – I’m a programmer – as long as I schedule my leave around projects (and get all my work done) – my boss is pretty flexible.
By you leaving are you piling your work on others while you are away? Or is it work that will wait until you return?
Really though – if you ask for the time off in negotiations before you accept/start the job – then it’s not like you are blind-siding the company! You have the right to ask, and they have the right to say no 🙂
I’m not sure if it’s illigal to ask about ‘marriage/kids etc’ in an interview, but it’s not in an employer’s best interest. It’s to protect them. If they don’t give you the job, they’ve given you ammunition to sue and claim discrimination based on whatever they asked. It’s just safer to steer away from those questions 🙂 I mean you can walk into a job interview 8 months pregnant – and they are NOT to ask about the baby 🙂 Might seem wierd to you since EVERYONE asks about the baby – but it’s a no no 🙂
Post # 13
We are taking the two days before the wedding (Thursday and Friday – although we work a schedule with every other Friday off and that is actually a Friday off) and the Monday immediately following. The wedding is in July, which is actually looking like maybe a busy month for us workwise. Then we are taking two weeks in February for our actual honeymoon. We split the time for two reasons, one of which was work. It is pretty common where we work to take a week, less common to take two. Very few take more. So anything over 2 weeks tends to raise eyebrows.
As far as asking for vacation before even having the job – probably a good guideline is not to ask for more than you would expect to have before the end of the first year. In other works, if you get 10 paid days a year accrued, to ask for three weeks a few months after you start is probably excessive. If you are asking for more time off than you would have, I would indicate that you are happy to take it unpaid rather than trying to borrow against future vacation. In the job I currently have (where I accrue 10 days a year) I started in March and took 2 weeks in July to go on a cruise with my mom. I let them know after the offer but before I accepted, and also let them know that I understood I wouldn’t have paid vacation by that time but would need the time away from work regardless. They actually worked me a very nice deal with comp time from extra hours both before and after the cruise, so that I ended up with no unpaid time off.
However, it all just depends on how bad they want you. I probably would never have gotten away with this kind of thing right out of school, but now with 20 years experience, an MS, and as one of the few experts in my field in the country, I can get away with a lot. However, asking for too time off, no matter who you are, still is taken to mean that you’re not that serious about the job. And if they thought I wasn’t serious, they would look for someone who was.
Post # 14
At least in my profression, law, they say not to wear a ring to interviews because people will ask (because they are trained to notice) and want to know if you will stick around- lost me my second interview!
anyway, to answer your question- i would ask for no more than 5 days off- combined with weekends that is 10 days.
Post # 15
I’m taking a little over 3 weeks off total, but i’ve been at my job for 3 years and haven’t taken vacation really (so they’re more than supportive of my request). It is a difficult time for me to take off, but i’ve shouldered more than my share when other people go on vacation. As long as management authorized your vacation, I think you’re on the clear (sounds like that one employer is cool about it). Good luck with your dream job
Post # 16
I think if you say you have made previous travel arrangements for the dates you need off- they will either say "ok" or "thats not acceptable"
We recently hired someone and they are in similar predicament. We knew it when we hired him and are accomodating his needs (since we knew it ahead of time and we found him to be the right fit for us- we were happy to work around the time off he needed)