Post # 1
I’ve been married for 7 years and my husband knows that I am bothered by my white gold engagement ring. It turns yellow almost immediately – sometimes a month later – after having it dipped. For our annivesary, I mentioned that I would like to upgrade to platinum and my husband was all for that. I have a beautiful 1 carat round diamond, but my jeweler will give me the full value of the diamond towards an upgrade. So, I’ve been looking at a 1.6 carat diamond as part of the upgrade.
My husband picked out my engagement ring all by himself. We shopped a year prior to getting engaged and he remembered a detail of an engagement ring that I really liked, which he incorporated into my setting. But I never really liked the rest of the setting. It’s not as elegant as I would have liked. I never said a word to him, though. And have been wearing it for 9 years.
Now that I’ve given the jeweler the money for the upgraded setting and diamond and have to give my ring to them, I’m starting to have regrets. Even though I don’t love my ring, I’ve been wearing it for so long. I’m not really a sentimental person and know my marriage is strong regardless of the ring. I think my husband was a little bummed that I was trading in my ring too, which doesn’t help. I’m not sure what he was thinking when he was encouraging an upgrade, but now he seems a little sad. And I’m even starting to have second thoughts that 1.6 carats is too big.
What do you guys think I should do? Stick with a setting I don’t love and that yellows quickly? Would you upgrade the setting with the original diamond? Or say the heck with it, and go for the whole thing? Thank you!
Post # 2
You weren’t happy with it 100% of the time yesterday, you’re slightly hesitant today, and tomorrow you’ll be just as unhappy, wishingyou could upgrade. It sounds like your sentimentality has gotten in the way. But if this were really true, you wouldn’t have wanted to upgrade in the first place. Don’t lose sleep over it..get the new diamond you picked out.. it can still be sentimental if you want it to be.
Post # 3
If you want a comprimise, get platinum setting with the same stone. But def dont keep something you dont like just on principle!
Post # 4
Thank you! I’ve never said out loud that I didn’t love my ring. Felt good to get that off my chest. I know that would have hurt my husband’s feelings.
Post # 5
I would keep the original diamond and put it in a setting that isn’t white gold. You seem a bit sentimental about the ring and having something from the orginal ring might help with that. My original engagement ring had a white gold setting but a nickel allergy made it hard to wear. So, I eventually had the original diamond reset in a platinum setting.
Post # 6
I’d go all in and get the 1.6 with the new setting. But I’m not very sentimental.
Post # 7
beegoingstrong : does it turn so yellow that it still looks yellow next to actual yellow gold? I see many people complain about that on here and it just really confuses me because my ering is white gold, was bought pre-owned, originated from a chain store and has been on my finger for over a year now and I have never had it rhodium dipped and it does not look yellow to me. Could it be that I am just not as color sensitive as some people? Or that my wedding band is rose gold so the contrast helps it look whiter? Or because the diamonds are not super pure white either? I just can’t understand why more expensive rings would be made from somehow lower quality, or whatever is causing the color change, gold.
Post # 8
nykkee : it’s my understanding that all white gold yellows because it is yellow gold that is rhodium plated. mine legitimately looks yellow and I’ve been told that it may yellow more quickly based on my body chemistry. my wedding band is an eternity band so it doesn’t rub on things as much. My engagement ring is just white gold on the bottom and wears quickly. So next to my wedding ring, the engagement ring looks just like yellow gold.
Post # 9
I understand. I upgraded but kept my original for over 2 years, just tucked away, because I could not think of parting with it. Even though I wasn’t happy with it. But after enough time, I finally just got over it. I would wait to upgrade until you just feel okay with it! Because I think once you put that 1.6ct plat ring on, you will be happy. But you need to make sure you are ready to let go of the original ring first.
Post # 10
beegoingstrong : I like the idea of keeping the original diamond and getting a new setting. But I am also the girl who’s absolute maximum sized stone was 1 carat because I’m personally not a fan of big stones and find them impratical.
Whatever you do, definitely choose a new setting. You’ve been unhappy with it for a long time, so I’m glad you have the opportunity to change that. Your husband should know by now that you love him no matter what, and he will get past whatever disappoint he may have now, in time.
Post # 11
beegoingstrong : I think you replacing the whole thing is ok as long as you both are ok with it,which it sounds like you guys are. Maybe you and your hubs can pick a setting you both like/love or custom design one together regardless of either stone you pick. As for the white gold going yellow-it’s deff body chemistry. The back of my WG rings all look slightly yellowed. My skin tends to lean on the basic side of the pH spectrum so I need products with acidity to balance it out. Maybe the opposite is true for you if your WG is basically yellow-more acidic skin? (don’t take my word though) Either way I think going for platinum, palladium or unplated white gold (if you prefer a whiter but warmer gold) are good options. Let us see when it’s done either way 🙂
Post # 12
Maybe you could look at the sentimental value differently. Being able to upgrade your ring is an amazing thing after nine years of marriage. It shows success and growth in your marriage and lives. The original ring is sentimental in its own right, but I personally don’t think it should keep you from embracing something new – – especially since you didn’t really like the first ring.
Post # 13
I would just reset the original diamond in a new setting. Once you change settings and the diamond, that ring will never be your engagement ring and I am just way to sentimental for that. I can see how it would hurt your husband’s feelings too, it sounds like he was all for upgrading the setting because your original one yellowed so quickly but now he probably feels like nothing about your engagement ring was good enough for you. A 1ct diamond is not small by any means and an extra half carat would not be enough for me to feel guilty, hurt my husband’s feelings, and pay the difference between the stones.