(Closed) Engagement Stalled — Possibly Broken; Advice?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Everything will work itself out in due time *hugs*

Post # 4
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well, are you sure you don’t want to marry him? Or is this something you did because you can’t deal with it right now, you don’t want to be unfair to him? Because if you still love him and still hope you can get things right in your life, perhaps calling it off all together was a bit hasty.

I do agree in your current delicate condition, you probably s houldn’t be planning a wedding, and yes, time to separate is probably best while you try and work things out for yourself, but I do worry that if you still love him and hope to mend things later, that it might be too late. 

But honestly, you do have to worry about yourself right now and getting better. Continue seeing someone about what’s been going on. I do understand you couldn’t drag him down with you any further, but what you should understand is that your situation isn’t hopeless. If you continue to seek treatment and follow the advice from professionals, you could very well be on the road to a happier life sooner than you think.

Just dont’ burn your bridges, try and explin to the ones you love that you just need some time. 

Post # 6
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well, I think it may have hurt him very much. I think he would have probably rather you hang onto it, maybe not wear it right now, but that keeping it may have given him reason to hope things could get back on track one day. That is if you want him to have reason to hope.

But what’s done is done. I think you should speak to him about it, let him know you hope he wasn’t hurt by it, and that it, in no way means that you don’t wish to marry him anymore. If he want’s you to have it back for right now, I’m sure he will speak up.

Just take it easy on yourself right now, I know it’s gotta  be hard to know what the right thing to do is in this situation.

Post # 7
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Firstly, I”m so sorry this is happening. No one deserves depression especially at a time that’s supposed to be the most exciting for them. I know that when in that depressed zone you never want to do anything, nothing holds any interest anymore, even the people we love become hard to handle because there’s little will to do so. 

I think going to the therapist is the best idea. Dealing with your issues, confronting them head on will definitely help, but you have to be proactive about it. I know it’s even hard to go to the therapist and be active with them, but you really must try to open up. Sometimes just letting things out is therapy in itself. You really need to work on making yourself happy and content. Take time to make youself feel good, because that’s what will get you back to normal.

If you Fiance really loves you he’ll want to work with you and help you get better, and make the relationship work. It sounds like he really wanted to be with you. Working on yourself will make you happier and thus the relationship better, idk if it’s too late for that, but hang in there. I hope you guys can work things out.

Post # 8
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It sounds like depression, stress and schedules are a huge factor for the two of you.  I think you did the right thing by telling him that you don’t want to fight about living anymore, I don’t know that I would have given the ring back because it seems so ‘final’ but I’m not saying it’s wrong either.  

Have you spoken to him since this happened?  It sounds to me like you do truly love him and don’t want to end things, but everything is just getting in the way and straining your relationship.  If that’s true, I would try to talk to him and explain that part….that you don’t want to be ‘over’ forever, but you need to work through things alone so that you can live happily again.  I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of this, depression is an evil, evil monster and I’m so glad you’re seeing someone and talking about it.  Have the put you on anti-depressants?  It’s not our business, but if not maybe they wouldn’t be a bad idea right now?  I’m confident that it will all work out in the end, you just have to hang in there!

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