(Closed) Engagement [VERY LONG] – Parents not happy, FI frustrated

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 50
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It can be hard to stand up for yourself when it makes people you love upset. When i’ve been manipulated in the past I often wonder why seeing ME upset doesn’t make THEM feel guilted into changing their behaviour, but it never does. Sometimes good people can do bad things and manipulating another person is a bad thing. It doesn’t mean we stop loving them but it also doesn’t mean that we have to accept their bad behaviour, that isn’t protecting them, it’s slowly teaching them that it’s ok to behave like that. Part of our responsibility to those we love is to help them be the best people they can be, sometimes that can be hard. 

There’s a whole wing of my family who are Roman Catholic and very involved with the church. I know they are fine with contraception so don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t a real Catholic! 

Keep your chin up and remember that as long as you always behave with compassion and kindness (which you obviously do!) other people’s issues are there own. 

Post # 51
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Hey Girl!

I need you to know I feel your pain. I’m not sure if it is quite as bad, but my Fiance parents are not very supportive of us. They see him as their young son, who can never grow up. His father is very emotionally absent so his mother is completely dependent on her children. We have been together for going on 6 years, and they still have no gotten used to the idea of him having a serious relationship. We have had a longer engagement, and it has taken them until 6 months to go to even START getting involved, and that is ONLY by obligation. His parents criticize every decision we make. They act nice to me in person most of the time, but they are just not supportive to us as a whole. It really stinks but it says nothign about you or your Fiance, and I am trying to understand that. I used to take it personally but I now realize there is simply NOTHING i could do to make his parents support us or love me more. They can’t let their boy grow up. I hope you know that you’re not the only one!

 

 

Post # 52
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can’t emphasize staying with him enough, if you truly feel he’s the one. I have an acquaintance who was 45 before finally marrying, due in whole to her mother disapproving of every guy she dated. She simply didn’t want her daughter to get married, period, because she wanted her to keep living at home, which she did. Finally, she met a guy online, they eloped and she moved to another state to be with him. She very quickly got pregnant, had the baby and now is divorced, because he just wasn’t the one for her. Honestly, the one probably got away years ago because she let her mother bully her around. Now she is single again, this time a single 52 year old mother, once again living with her mother, who is now a disabled widow.

Please don’t let this happen to you.

Post # 55
Member
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@BlueMockingbird:  I’m so glad to hear that things are beginning to improve. Feburary is coming up fast now!

Post # 56
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2000

@BlueMockingbird:  so good to hear everything is getting better. February will be here soon!

 

Post # 57
Member
3518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

*deleted* didn’t realize this was an old thread πŸ˜›

The topic ‘Engagement [VERY LONG] – Parents not happy, FI frustrated’ is closed to new replies.

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