Hey there! I am dealing with this type of situation.
I have a close friend, who I asked to be a bridesmaid, and I thought she would be the top fitting person for this role, she has always said if I got married she would be so into helping me plan (this is not a strong trait of mine and I am not super girlie).
When I asked her to be in the wedding party she was very much into the idea.
Fast forward a bit of time and she is giving off jealous and avoidant vibes.
At bridesmaids dress shopping she commneted that everything was ugly and she couldnt find something that fit her well (I picked the colour and fabric only just to keep things consistent, and there were 27 different dress styles that the girls could pick from… my thought was.. go wild and find something you’re comfortable in, whatever shape, style, length, sleeves/ no sleeves etc).
She keeps saying she will tentatively attend the few events I hoped to do, which were very simple, one was a bachelorette party, which would just be a night out, the other was a weekend away at one of the groomsmen’s cottage 2 hours away, very low key, minimal cost.
I haven’t asked for help with anything else or planned to have an engagement party,or bridal shower.
It’s making me feel guilty for feeling excited. I dread now asking anyone for help or advice too. Even though it’s one person, it’s shadowing over my happiness.
I get that people have lives, jobs, kids, other events. But in her case she is clearly being avoidant, and its not a matter that she has other things to attend on these days.
Anyway I digress. She has also said things like “I cant believe you are getting married before ME”. She;s been with her bf for 10 years and he obviously doesnt want to get married.
It’s very hurtful for me, because I don’t have any family myself, and my friends are my family. It sucks to have one jealous person because I am finding I am sensitive to this very much so. It’s hurtful also when you’ve put so much of your time into helping people in many ways, and get the shaft.