(Closed) Engagement weirdness…..?

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
9520 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Hate to break it to you but life is not like the movies. No one will care about your engagement or wedding nearly as much as you. You know your friends and family best, how they react to news like this.

not really sure what “experience” you are looking for.

Post # 4
Member
398 posts
Helper bee

Congratulations on your engagement! I just got engaged this weekend and feel similar. We haven’t announced it, no one really knows as we are still in the process of calling close family members before we post anything. The only difference really is that I have a ring. It is weird but I take comfort not much has changed, as far as I’m concerned we are just the same and still on the same path. I wouldn’t put too much thought into it, maybe have an engagement party if you’d like more of a celebration?

Post # 5
Member
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

How did he propose? Did he know you would’ve wanted an extra special movie style proposal? 

I guess if he didn’t plan anything special celebratory for the evening of the proposal it can feel a bit anticlimactic.

Maybe you can talk to him and suggest something, tell him inside you feel such an enormity of this moment but somehow you find unable to connect it to the outside world because everything is the same and you would really love it if he wanted to mark the occasion of having gotten engaged by setting aside a special evening?

Post # 7
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee

Having not been engaged, I can’t speak to that experience specifically, but I think there are a lot of events in life that are played up not only in the movies, but in society as a whole as “milestones” or what have you. When those “milestones” have so much importance an weight placed on them, it isn’t unreasonable to feel like they should be or feel “special”! And they are special, to you and your fiance and family (or whoever is involved). 

I’ve had a couple of events (moving in with my SO, becoming domestic partners, talking about marriage, death of a friend) where there’s this feeling of “I’m having so many emotions and experiences, and it’s not reflected in the world/my interactions with others.” I think that’s pretty normal, because recognition and acceptance are part of human existence. 

Not to get all philosophical or whatever! 😉

Anywho, I think you’ll have those celebratory, excited moments in the coming days and months – it just wasn’t immediate, and I think you’ll have a range of experiences with regard to your engagement that will be meaningful and memorable. Just be open to the whole experience, even the less exciting parts – they might be the ones you end up remembering forever 🙂

Congrats on your engagement!!

Post # 8
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Congratulations and gorgeous ring! I think sharing the good news with family and friends will actually help you get excited. Joy is contagious! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!! (To start you off)

Post # 9
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Aw, congrats! I got engaged last November. Immediately went to my parents with my Fiance to tell them/take pictures/etc. My mom decided to make it about herself and told my dad “At least someone did it right” (they didn’t have  a wedding), and then wouldn’t take pictures with me because she wasn’t dressed up enough…lol Not like how I thought it would be at all! Engagement also consisted of Fiance being very unsure in the beginning if he did the right thing, it was a tough time, we are in a way better spot. So if anything, engagement felt nothing like I thought it would at first! Since the tough times have passed though, wedding planning has been pretty exciting and makes things feel more real, so get to planning girl!

Post # 11
Member
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
futuresmith4 :  I think that’s what it is, you need a little celebration and be able to tell your family and just get all the congratulations from loved ones around you!

Post # 12
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
futuresmith4 :  Congratulations!!  My DH proposed at home on a Sunday afternoon and it was a bit surreal and anticlimatic 😉  But it was a good thing and we are now happily married.  DH didn’t think to have champagne or any sort of plan for after he proposed.  After he proposed we called immediate family and then went to pick out pumpkins.  That night we just made dinner at home. 

I’ll just agree with everyone else, life usually isn’t like the movies.  Most of my friends’ DH’s proposed on a sort of casual walk, at a park or at home.  Don’t worry, your experience is normal.   

Post # 15
Member
1807 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Congratulations!!! Yes, you’re right… in movies you see Prince Charming down on one knee giving the ring, she says ‘yes’, everyone cheers… The fast forwarded to 6 months later at the alter where the priest is saying ‘do you take Cinderella to be your bride?’  Nothing in between. 

No fighting over centrepieces, no dress alterations, no crying because the bridesmaids all called you a bitch, no Fiance saying ‘fuck it this is too hard, let’s just elope’ (I only speak from experience with the last one). 

Ive been engaged twice – both times it was sweet (both times were in public romantic places)… So we just kept doing what we were doing before. 

Its similar to finding out you’re pregnant. Big exciting news – but once you get it, it’s just a long wait for the big day

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