Post # 1
Yesterday my mom and I were discussing my upcoming engagement and I told her about the ring I found that i loved, which is a diamond stimulant that I found for under $200 on Etsy. It’s beautiful and you can’t really tell the difference between it and a real diamond but she’s adamant that I’m letting my fiancé out easy with buying me a ‘cheap engagement ring’. Instead he should put in the effort to buy something that’s more expensive and make payments on it (like my father did apparently) because the engagement ring is a physical representation of what you are worth to your fiancé. I guess I kind of understand where she is coming from but in the same token I don’t really understand paying $2,000 for a e-ring when there are so many more important things to spend money on, like the wedding (that I know we will have to pay for the majority on our own), the honeymoon, or a apartment to move into after the wedding.
Now if he had the money to spend on a ring that would be a different story but I thought the ring I found was the perfect harmony between getting a beautiful ring but not having to pay an arm and a leg. Now my mom is making me second guess myself and I don’t know what to do.
What do you bees think?
Post # 2
chrissybee: Get the ring you love! I picked out my ring and I was waaaaay under the budget that my Darling Husband set for me but you know what? I love it so much and I could care less what the price was.
Post # 3
I strongly disagree, and find the concept that a ring = your “worth” quite offensive, to be honest. I do think it matters that your fiance is thoughtful towards you. For some, that means that your partner respects that you don’t even want a ring. For others, it means they propose with the ring you love, or put effort into finding something that you will treasure.
Thoughtfulness can’t be measured by the $ spent on a ring. I’d care about whether the partner is kind and generous in general. A ring is just a ring.
Post # 4
I think your Mom is being ridiculous. The amount a person spends on an engagement ring does not in any way correlate to how much he/she loves that person. I think if you found a ring you love for less, you’re being financially savy! You’re 100% right that there are more important things to spend money on, especially if you don’t actually want the $2k ring your Mom is pushing on you. Put that money toward something you and your future Fiance will enjoy more 🙂
Post # 5
I know you are going to get a lot of mixed opinions on here. I won’t agree with your mom 100% that a ring is about your worth but, if your happy that’s all that matters. Are you going to upgrade someday? I would say go for something a bit better quality that way down the road you won’t have to think about it. I personally don’t get that upgrade thing myself. Your first ring is The Ring, your forever ring.
Post # 6
Absolutely ridiculous, your Fiance investing that money into your future i.e. an apartment to move into after you’re married shows much more of your “worth” to him than some ring bling. I think you are being very sensible and if you want a simulant then don’t let anyone talk you out of it!
Post # 7
Your mom is sadly misguided.
A ring doesn’t show your worth and making payments on one that you can’t afford is just immature.. An engagement ring is a symbol of committment between you and your Fiance. The amount that should be spent on it is decided by the two of you, not your mother.
Post # 8
Get what you and your SO want. Thank your mom for her input, but you guys will have to agree to disagree on this one. The value of a piece of jewelry says nothing about your worth to your fiance. It’s just that, a piece of jewelry which unfortunately society has given so much power to.
And TBH, I could have a million dollar engagement ring…I sure hope I’m worth more than that to my husband.
Post # 9
chrissybee: Tell your Mom that a person’s worth is not measured in carats.
Post # 10
I agree with PPs. You have other things to consider that are more important. It’s not worth you and your Fiance going into debt, etc. I know so many people that live beyond their means….that too risky for me.
Post # 11
Post # 12
Ring = worth is as asinine as it is insulting.
Post # 13
Ok I don’t think the $ amount is exactly what you are worth I think I’m worth a lot more than $2600 to my Fiance and he would agree. But I did want him to save up, put some effort into it you know. I also wanted the ring to be real gold 14k and the diamond to be real and decent solitaire of about 0.5ct. I got what I wanted and he didnt break the bank even tough money isn’t abundant…. we are not stuck making payments on it for years or anything. The ring is paid for. I love it and so does my Fiance. Everybody wins. I don’t feel like he got it easy as in bought a ring he could easily afford without batting an eye (like a couple hundred bucks) It’s not like I wanted a flawless Tiffany either. It would have cost $3100 I think but he was able to talk them fown to $2600. I refused to have a e-ring over $3000! For the record I would have said yes regardless of the ring but would want to upgrade later but I didnt want to do that. I’m sentimental I want to have THIS ring for ever. The right he got me I’m supper happy with and wouldn’t upgrade it even if we wont the loto and I could have 10ct flawless! I have a 0.56ct solitaire Colour H, clarity SI2 I think and cut is Good and the setting is a 14k white gold with rose gold. It’s perfect in every way!
Post # 14
chrissybee: Oh hell nah! My Fiance was willing to spending upward of $5k but the ring I chose was $900 (it was discounted at 50% off)!
You’re smart that you don’t want to make payments for years and have other things you can spend money on. All that matters is you love the ring and your Fiance can be proud of what he bought you. I actually think your Fiance loves you a lot because he’s preparing for your future! That shows more love than a price tag on a ring!
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey
I agree that your mum’s comments is offensive and sexist. It is not the ££ but the thought and effort that goes into it. That thought and effort can be, for example, reflected in how hard and long they worked to save for an expensive ring. But it is not the price of the ring itself that matters, but what it took to achieve it. I would feel less valued if my SO spent little-no thought on me and simply chucked £10k at the first e-ring he saw, than if he spent large amounts of time reflecting on my taste and personality to find a £200 which he knew I would adore because he knows me.
‘Expensive’ is relative anyway.