Post # 1
Fellow introverts….I’ve been wondering, how do you manage to deal with the demands of your wedding day without feeling totally overwhelmed. My wedding shower was today and I found myself a little stressed out and tired afterwards…It was lovely and I was so grateful for the work that went in to planning it but I just felt drained afterwards. It was just a little stressful to make sure I talked to everyone and didn’t leave any one out. I also had a lot of friends from different parts of my life that didn’t know each other, so I was trying to navigateall of the groups and making sure everyone was included. I also felt like I was being pulled around a little bit “come look at this”, “open your presents” etc. I also am not comfortable with being the center of attention and photographed a lot…I felt awkward opening the presents with everyone watching. Obviously this is not a terrible problem to have but it just got me thinking about how I will feel during the wedding, when there are a lot more people to talk to and I lot more structure in the time line. Can anyone relate? If so, were you able to feel calm and not like you were being pulled in a million directions?
Post # 3
@Hcrab81: I just got married today! My new husband is asleep and I popped on here to do some reading to help me whine down. I’m very introverted and hubby is an extrovert. First, having a venue that has a wedding coordinator for your day, like mine did, helps tremendously. She took care of everything and it took a lot off me. Although I was still nervous. One good thing about having a extroverted partner is they tend to do all the talking at parties. All you have to do is say a few words and smile. I’ll admit I’m tired but a supportive venue and bridal party helps a lot.
Post # 4
I’m not married yet but I also find planning a bit overwhelming..like sheesh I don’t want to have multiple emails and phone calls etc. So we juggled things around and put Fiance on people duty :). And we also just hired DOC to manage the day so everyone isn’t running to me for everything.
Post # 5
I was terrified I would have a panic attack on our wedding day. It didn’t happen. I was honestly so excited and elated that day, I didn’t feel any panic. My husband is also super outgoing and usually does most of the talking. If you have a larger guest list, you honestly won’t have much time to have extended conversations with very many people. My husband made a short thank you speech while I smiled and nodded. Try remember, everyone there is at your wedding because they love you!
I totally second a everything the poster above me mentioned. A wedding coordinator was a huge help. I didn’t have to worry about anything. I think that helped ease my anxiety.
Post # 6
@icetea: Thank you! Email is certainly a great thing for communication with vendors plus you have documentation of the conversation should anything go awry.
Post # 7
I’m not super-introverted, but I am not a huge social butterfly. I don’t mind entertaining people I don’t know well sometimes, but our wedding is more of a personal moment for us. This is one of the reasons we decided to have a very small, intimate wedding, with only the most important people to us there. It’s a very exclusive affair 🙂 Could you do something like that?
Post # 8
@Hcrab81: I saw an idea on Pinterest the other day of having two empty seats across from the bride and groom so guests could come up, one or two at a time, to chat instead of the bride & groom having to walk around to big groups, so that’s one idea.
Second, have an escape plan. Is there a lobby or back room at your venue where you (and your hubby maybe) could sneek off for a few minutes to relax and breathe? I’m not an introvert and I’m still on the look out for that just to be able to check in with my introverted SO.
Pick a maid to be your security guard. Give her a code word or a gesture to look for and when you give the signal, she should snag you and take you to the ladies room. Not the nicest place to catch your breath, but it’ll work in a pinch.
Post # 9
I’m introverted to the point that I have pretty bad social anxiety. Having a long engagement helps, because I can plan a little and wait… plan a little and wait. It’s very much one thing at a time instead of a million things and a million people all the time.
I’m not having a DJ or MC of any sort, which will help keep things casual and laid back, which is less overwhelming.
Email is the greatest invention in the entire world.
My guest list is also mostly people that I know, including many who know me very well and a great group of kids I’ve known for about 5 years. Kids calm me down and I don’t know how or why. Especially those specific kids.
Post # 10
@Hcrab81: My shower was also yesterday and I felt the same way you felt!! I hate pictures and bring the center if attention. I had to have had to say thank you over 200 times!!
Post # 11
@mepayne: because they are so REAL 🙂 I love having kids around too.
Post # 12
I plan on being hammered….
J/K!!!!!!!! (this would make things worse, lol)
I’m a MASSIVE introvert andI am terrified of the wedding day. Not because I don’t want to marry my Fiance, but because I HATE having that many people look at me. I used to be medicated for my anxiety issues. We are actively combating this in a few ways:
1) Guest list of only people I have spoken to more than 3 times, face-to-face, within the last year
2) Not having a grand entrance (or whatever they are called)
3) Not having a “first dance” (not big dancers anyway)
4) Not having a pushy MC (we had to look for a while…)
5) Having mostly “journalism style” pictures where there is ver little posing
Fiance is an extrovert and can handle most of the stuff that makes me uncomfortable (just like he always does, that wonderful man)
Post # 13
@joya_aspera: That they are! They also love you unconditionally, and I know they’re the ones I can pull aside on my wedding day and say, “Being around too many people makes me nervous. I need a hug.” and they will. No judgment or questions.
Post # 14
@Hcrab81: I like some of the suggestions about finding a “safe zone” or a way to escape. Also, I have been to a lot of weddings with ‘shy brides’ who did not feel a need to be a social butterfly on that particular day because they were in communication by email or by other social media before and after relieving the need to overwhelm the bride on the day.
Post # 15
I would get scared just thinking about the wedding…even before we were engaged lol. 200-300 people just staring at us o_O I hate being the center of attention. So once we became engaged, I’m so glad Fiance suggested a Destination Wedding. We’ll be having less than 30 guests, mainly immediate family coming.
Post # 16
We’re planning to have the empty chairs in front of ours at the head table so people can come up and chat, while we sit and re-group for a bit. I’m the introvert and my Fiance is the classic extrovert, so we have a set habit of checking in that we already use at parties, where we’ll sneak off somewhere and hug, kiss, or just talk about how we’re feeling/how we want the night to go for 2 or 3 minutes. Then we go back out and mingle for another hour, rinse and repeat until we’re ready to go home. I’ve found it also works for me, when I start feeling overwhelmed, to find some good friends or close family members (people who’s energy calms me) and re-charge by being with them for a conversation or two.
I feel the same way about pictures, so we’re planning to have a lot that aren’t so posed. Our photographer does best with a photo-journalist style (and those are my preferred photos) so that should work out.
And, we’re going to delegate, delegate, delegate; it will be understood, approach the bride with a question or problem on that day and risk your life! 😉 Hope some of that helps you!