(Closed) Enough with the child talk….. we get it….. you have kids……

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I compare this topic of talking about kids, and trying to stop it, to a friend who once tried to ban talking about the one thing most of us had in common at a New Years Eve party.  We are mostly gamers, we talk about game when we get together. Banning the one topic that we all had in common kind of lead to large moments of silence.  Once he relaxed he rule, or left the room as to not remind us about the “rule” conversation started flowing a lot easier.

Unfortunatly, trying to ban a topic that three out of 4 people have in common is just going to be hard.  I’m sorry that that does not include you, but if the situation was reversed, and you would likely not like someone asking you to not talk about XYZ thing you had in common with two of the other girls.

I would suggest either like PPs have said, talk to the guys if you aren’t interested in the girls’ conversation.  The other suggestion I have is drag one of the girls into a side conversation, and rinse and repeat as often as you need to. 

Post # 33
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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@Chrysoberyl:  +1

I would make it as awkward as possible.  Like every chance I get, “Wow, I don’t have kids, so I don’t have anything to say on this!”  “You guys love your kids so much, no wonder you never seem to talk about your hobbies!”  “So when was the last time you went to the movies without your kids?”  “Thank God I never have to worry about cleaning up kid puke!”  “I definitely feel like you all are speaking a completely different language- I don’t understand any of this!”

I may even pull the “Yeah, I wish I could talk so pationately about my kids like you do…  Too bad we’ll never have any… Ever since.. the accident…”  And leave it at that.  (But seriously, don’t do this.)

… Or just talk with the guys.  Dinner dates don’t have to be divided male/female anyways, and if their topic is more interesting, join in.

They should be allowed to talk about thei kids, but constantly with no breakl?  I mean, school/work is a major part of my life, but I know better than to just talk about that.  Or about Fiance.  Variety is the spice of life, and things get very boring very quickly if you only focus on one aspect of it.

Post # 34
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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@Apple_Blossom:  +10000000

” I just wrote a book and I’m cancer research but I know it means nothing…right I mean you said life meant nothing until you had kids” Just keep making it awkward. Also to those of you saying their kids are their life, uh well how come only moms get this right? While going to school I am writing a book. I just gave my friend the first three chapters to read, she loves it(was terrified she would hate it) and wants me to keep sending her chapters. So can I praddle on with no end in sight about my book? Ever thread, ever comment, ever time I go out, talk about my book. Give dirty looks if someone who doesn’t like to read or write isn’t in to it.

These threads turn into complaining about women talking(solely) about their kids for a reason. IF anyone yapped about anything other than kids that much, they’d be called narcississtic, accused of hogging the conversation etc. Yet a mom can give a play by play of madison’s day at the petting zoo and everyone is expected to listen attentively or be “bad friends” who “don’t understand”

Post # 35
Member
4844 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

God yes, I hear you. Or pregnant women. “LOL my vagina is the wierdest colour right now!” “Little billy had a diaper blow out at costco” “Let’s re-live our entire birth story again” “How many stitches did YOU get? lololol”

 -_- Like, have you seen movie or something? Have you bought a new pair of shoes or something? Has your life had any significance at all post-conception? Please. Or, failing that, tell me that little billy made a craft or something, not about how he projectile vomited outside your door while you two were attempting sex. 

Based on legit conversations. Rant over. 

Post # 36
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

The same can be said for a lot of brides. Some people never STFU about their wedding. It’s tedious.

Kid talk can be tedious, too. That’s why I limit it to friends who are also moms or when someone specifically asks for an update.

Lest, you know, you lump EVERY SINGLE WOMAN WHO HAS REPRODUCED together under the “asshole mom” heading.

Post # 37
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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@annifer:  Funny thing is, I don’t remember my mom or aunts or mom’s friends being like this. My cousin and I would play and NEVER did they have a kid conversation. No breast pump chit chat. When I was a teen, I do not recall any moms doing the never ending kid chat. NOW, things are different, I do not know what it is but women these days seem to think the whole world is dying to hear about their kids, like the suspense is killing me, how is potty training going? I just want to know why? If you or any one can answer that, lol. Why? Women use to not want to bore people by talking on end about their kid. THey would discuss other things and maybe the kid was mentioned for 5 seconds. It is in the last 5-10 years that there has been this huge shift and suddenly everything to do with babies, children, pregnancy, other issues(breastfeeding in public) can and is being talked about at all times and written about and don’t have an opinion unless you are a mom(otherwise just listen) and be sure your opinion is popular(i.e. ofcourse I am fine with you breastfeeding a half foot away from me at the mall while I eat my salad. Crazy opinions like, atleast put a baby blanket over your shoulder, result in you being attacked). So, yeah totally not trying to be bitchy I just want to know why kid/pregnancy talk is on steroids

Post # 38
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@EncoreBridetoBe:  So you’re asking me why I discuss my child with my friends who also have kids?

Post # 39
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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@annifer:  No. First I had know idea YOU had kids, so just know nothing was/is directed at you as a person or mother. Rather it is a statement/question about the MAJORITY of moms these days.

I am asking when it became acceptable to talk non-stop about pregnancy, babies, kids, breastfeeding, labour etc etc? It was not always this way. For a long time I was an only child so I listened in to adult conversation and no kid talk. How do I know my aunt was breast feeding? I was a nosey 4 year old who followed her in to the private room she went into. If my mom was going out with friends the ONLY I came was if they had kids and they wanted to take theirs. I even asked my Mom about this, she doesn’t know why but is equally(if not more because she is a mom) annoyed that it seems to be acceptable(or people think it is) to act like now the conversation topic is up to you and there is no such thing is Too Much Information as long as its baby related etc etc

Post # 40
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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@urchin:  +1 Agreed.

We are one of the last couples of our group to have kids and we have “endured” conversations about kids, gone to various kid’s recitals, plays, school functions and loved absolutely all of it. It was just us being involved in the lives of our friends who happen to have children.

While I do hope that these women have hobbies and lives outside of their kids I also hope that you OP realize that these kids are a huge chunk of their lives. They can relate to each other on this and so of course this will be a huge topic of conversation. If you are truly that bored to tears it might be that you might want to look into a new group of friends. Yes it is absolutely your right to decide to not have children but if you are going to be annoyed by the topic of children by those that have them perhaps you might want to branch out and find other CBC couples that would have a wider range of topics and interests. I know that there are several social groups for CBC couples around my area. Might be worth checking out.

Post # 41
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@californiabride2013:  Peole talk about what they most have in common. You are the only one that doesn’t have kids in common with them. Perhaps they spend the majority of the time with their kids. It may be hard for them to talk about something else. If I were you I’d maybe find a new group of girls to hang out with. In the meantime, just tell these ladies, “I am going to talk wiith the guys, ladies. We aren’t having kids, so I don’t know what I can contribute to the conversation. Thanks!”

Post # 42
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@EncoreBridetoBe:  Ah, gotcha – I wasn’t as clear about having a kid in my previous post as I thought.

I don’t have any answers for you. I talk about this stuff with my friends who also have children because I find it interesting to hear their experiences. As long as the people involved in the conversation are all okay with the level of information being shared, what’s the problem? I take pains to not yap about that shit with child-free friends. But then I’m also not one to talk about my kid’s potty habits, ’cause really – ain’t no one cares about that.

If I had to hazard a guess as to why some moms talk endlessly and aggressively about their kids, it’s not just moms. It’s everyone. We’re a really navel-gazy society right now. Everyone prattles on endlessly about everything. We’re on a wedding website where people dissect flowers and invitations and every exhausting detail. I bet your mom didn’t know much about her friends’ weddings, either.

Post # 43
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee

@californiabride2013:  This will be me in a couple years 🙁 I’m childfree by choice and ALL of my friends want to start having babies soon.

Post # 44
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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@annifer:  Bless you! In one of my posts I metioned a pic on facebook of _____ morning poo. That was a true story. I love my cousin dearly but I HAD to say something about a facebook pic of her daughter on the potty with a caption informing the world it is her morning poo. WTF? Ofcourse ALL her fellow mommy friends, who are hippy earth mother types who are zen until you have the audacity to disagree with them, cheered on this photo and flamed me for saying “she’ll kill you when she is 18, it’s the internet. Still pissed at my parents for the bathtub pics I found of me”

Post # 45
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee

@californiabride2013:  I mean, I get that the child is a huge part of their loves and I love when people talk about things they’re passionate about, but to prattle on and on about ONE thing when someone else TRIES to change the subject is just rude.

And the talking down thing is rude, I don’t ever say “Well you’re not an engineer you wouldn’t understand” or tell other people “you’re not engaged you wouldn’t understand”, “You didn’t just buy a car…” etc. etc. and refuse to talk about anything else and anyone who doesn’t want to talk about is less of a person somehow. UGH

Post # 46
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

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@allyfally:  +1 I agree.

The topic ‘Enough with the child talk….. we get it….. you have kids……’ is closed to new replies.

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