(Closed) Envelope was addressed to husband only

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

They probably didn’t feel like writing both names. Its not like they had a party and you weren’t invited. Is your name difficult to spell?

Post # 3
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

While that is a little strange, I wouldn’t send a message to the husband at all. They just had a baby, I doubt they want to recieve a message about this type of thing. Perhaps it was a typo? Was the envelope printed or hand-addressed? I’d check with your husband about the thank you cards, because had it only been addressed to the husband, the wife might be upset. But again, she just had a baby, I doubt (although people do get crazy about holding grudges) excluding you on a card is at the forefront of her mind.

And anyway, in the scheme of things, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s just a baby announcement, it’d be a little more rude if it were an invitation. I’d move on.

Post # 4
46647 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Cordellia:  Yes it would have been “proper” to address the announcement to the two of you. But it’s also a complete waste of energy to get all upset about it. In the grand scale of etiquette errors, it’s really very slight.

Did you ask your Darling Husband how he addressed the thank-you note he sent to this groomsmen? If he accidentally addressed it only to his buddy, the buddy could have interpreted it as your Darling Husband only wanting the relationship to be between the two of them, not extending to the wives.

Send them a gracious card, congratulating them on the baby’s arrival and include a line”Note new address”.

Post # 5
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i would facebook him the proper address but not be like –hey you forgot my name on the card…. my husband gets cards and stuff with his name on it- when its meant to have husband and family. it doesnt really bug me. i also get stuff that is meant for the entire family and only addressed to me.

Post # 8
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’d assume it was 100% an oversight an proceed as such. What would you do next if someone accidentally did this? You’d send them a nice message letting them know your new address or corrected address and say you loved the announcement. 

Life is honestly much less stressful when you make yourself always give people the benefit of the doubt first. Unless someone insults me directly to my face, I assume everything else is a misinterpretation on my part. 99% of the time I’m right! 

I made some mistakes on our Xmas card list last year such as this one (forgetting to address part of a couple etc). Holidays are stressful. Babies are stressful. No ones in their right mind!!

Post # 9
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Cordellia:  eh, i get why you’re upset. but chances are they were sending out a lot of birth announcements, got your parents address from something wedding related, and since your hubby sent the thank you note before, the friend probably (in between helping his wife with the new baby) took that as a cue that he should be corresponding with your hubby.

i’d send them a card to congratulate, from both of you, with an updated address.

Post # 10
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Even though you say your name is simple, I bet they were just having a brain fart moment and forgot how to spell it. Don’t read too much into it:)

Post # 11
559 posts
Busy bee

Cordellia:  It was not good form on her part and you both know that. 

It would have been more correct for her to address it to you, but perhaps she forgot your name and didn’t like to ask her man. Or she doesn’t remember you, although you remember her. Or indeed it’s because you didn’t sign the note. Or she wasn’t brought up properly. Or she’s jealous of you – Congratulations 😉


Post # 12
2473 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

They just had a baby. Ecer heard of baby brain?

Post # 13
433 posts
Helper bee


I understand that you’re upset. In the world of traditional etiquette the envelope should have been addressed to you. Yes, once upon a time all social announcements and invitatiions were posted to the lady of the house as she was the one who was most likely to take care of such matters. In my house, my family and my circle of friends that is still the way things are handled, because, frankly, my husband (as sweet as he is) cannot be trusted when it comes to social commitments.

Most people don’t know these rules anymore, although there were good reasons for them, and I dare say that it is still the women who send and respond to social invitations, so I suggest that you simply overlook this faux pas.

Post # 15
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Cordellia:  I’m guessing this is a case of new baby brain and a guy addressing envelopes.  Guys don’t always think of addressing envelopes as an etiquette thing and more as a functional “get it where it belongs” type thing.  Which…he kinda failed on anyway, but that’s beside the point.  I’m sure they didn’t passive-aggressively snub you but rather they were lazy about it.

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