- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
My little brother and I are 5 years apart, Im 23 and he is 18.
My brother hasnt made the best of choices, dropped out of high school, almost got in junvinile trouble, hung out with the “bad kids” at school. Most of his friends now are on really hard drugs and will steal, sell, do anything to get them.
Almost a year ago, he got his girlfriend of a year and a half pregnant, he was 17 at the time and she was 18. When I found out (I was the first one that he told), I was so hurt and jealous, envious, everything but happy for him. All I could think about is how is he going to take care of this child, whats going to happen between him and his gf, is the child going to have the things he needs, is the child going to have a good life? A stable home?
I was also upset bc my parents had always expected me to give them their very first grandchild (since im the older and more financially stable one) and my brother kind of took that away from me. I was the one that graduated high school, worked my butt off in college and at my job, bought and paid for a brand new car with my hard earned cash, while my brother was having sex, getting drunk and high, skipping school, stealing, vandalizing, no job, doing everything he shouldnt be doing.
While I was trying to do things (in my opinion) the right way, be done with college or at least almost done, be engaged first, then married and THEN have a child after my SO and I became financially stable of course.
My mom and dad were so proud of me for having those type of goals but after they found out that my brother was giving them their very first grandchild, all that seemed to not matter to them anymore, actually the havent mentioned it since..
Now that my nephew is here, my brother straightened up, he now works (not the best of job bc of his schooling history) but they make it. He no longer gets high or drinks, parties and stuff.
Its been almost a year since my nephew has been born and a couple of weeks ago my brother sends me a picture of a ring….a ring that he is getting his gf.
I talked to him about it and he plans on asking her before the end of this year. They wont be able to have an actual wedding bc her parents arent going to pay for her wedding and they wont have the money to pay for one but the plan is for them to go to the Justice of the Peace and get their marriage licsense and get married and then when the time comes that they can actually afford a wedding, they will have an actual wedding ceremony and reception to follow.
Oh and now that marriage has came in the picture and they are actually serious about it, my brothers gf admitted to me that they had planned to have a baby all along, that they were trying to get pregnant and they ended up actually succeeding.
So…..I really dont know what Im trying to get out of this, maybe for someone to tell me to stop being a jealous brat and be happy for my brother (which I am happy for him, my brother and I come from a divorced family and I would love to see my brother and his gf be able to make it as a couple and give my nephew something that we didnt get to have), maybe I just need someone to talk to, a voice of reason. I tried telling one of my co-workers about it and they just kind of laughed and said “your younger brother of 5 years is getting married before you are?”.
It just bothers me that my brother that had a baby after a year or so of being with his gf and now is fixing to get married after almost 3 years of them being together. I feel like his life is progressing, family wise and im stuck in a rut. Maybe im just mad at myself and is blaming my brother for it.
My SO and I have been together 3+ years and we arent even engaged yet…
So since they are going to get married, they plan to start trying for another child later on, which clashes with my plans.
Me and my SO’s plan is to get married in 2015, and start trying for a baby a year or so from then. They want to start trying in 2016 also bc they want their kids to be around 3 years apart, give or take. Im not saying its going to happen like that but if it does they will once again take the joy and excited away from me having my first kid bc they will also be pregnant….