(Closed) Envirobride's birth story – nothing as expected! (long)

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!! I am sorry things didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped. I think you have to allow yourself to love the end result, your healthy son, while also accepting that it is normal to grieve the experience that you didn’t get to have. It is okay to feel sad and disappointed about your birth experience. While my birth experience was very different from yours in many ways, I fought against the c-section and eventually did manage to birth my son vaginally with the help of suction — and I’ve always wondered if that was a mistake and I should have accepted the c-section. I ended up with a terribly long labor, very bad tearing that didn’t heal for nearly a year after the birth, and just a traumatic experience all around. I think it’s important to acknowledge that things didn’t go as hoped and that there’s no way to know how different choices would have changed things. We’ll never know.

Post # 3
1747 posts
Bumble bee

It’s hard not to second guess, but please try not to.  You did what you (and your MW and OB) though was the best plan given the circumstances at the time. 

There certainly are risks to breech vaginal deliveries, and first time moms with an untested pelvis are more worrisome than a multip who’s delivered a 10 lb baby vaginally in the past. Your baby was already in some distress (meconium) and you had some kind of infection.  A longer labor with an infection may have stressed babe even more.  Could you have delivered safely vaginally?  Maybe, there is no crystal ball, we all have woulda, coulda, shoulda moments in our lives.   I know this wasn’t the delivery you’d planned, wanted, or dreamed of, but at the end of the day you’re healthy, and your baby is healthy. Please try not to second guess yourself too much. 

You have lots of time to talk about any future pregnancies with your husband and doctors.   Congratulations on your new addition!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by  .
Post # 4
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Congratulations! I’m sorry that things did not go as planned, but your baby boy is gorgeous.  Don’t have any regrets, you did what you felt best and you brought a beautiful baby into this world. You should be proud 🙂

Post # 5
1534 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow, sounds like things were pretty scary for a bit!  Congratulations on your new baby boy– glad you are both doing well now!

Post # 6
11051 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

envirobride: Thanks for sharing, sorry that happened to you but glad recovery has gone well. Congratulations on your new baby boy, he’s very cute. Don’t have regrets, think of it as that you were lucky you were already in theatre. Hope your appointment with the surgeon goes well for you and gives you all the information you need.

Post # 7
1069 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Please don’t regret the decision you made for a C-Section, the important thing is that you and your baby are both safe and healthy! Who knows what might have happened if you had chosen a different path with all the risk factors? You took the medical advice offered and thankfully everything worked out OK. Just remember that your beautiful baby is fine, and that is all that matters!

Post # 9
5474 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

envirobride:  Wow, what a roller coaster!  In the end, you have a healthy baby and you are ok.  Congrats on a lovely baby 🙂  

Post # 10
3696 posts
Sugar bee

Congrats on your beautiful son! Take comfort in the fact that you made a decision that allowed him to be born safe and healthy. Your doctor will be able to tell you more about the infection, etc., but I think you did the right thing. If you were over a week before your due date and there was meconium, I think you made a smart choice to go with the C-section (and I’m also strongly pro-all-natural!)

I also planned a birth center birth, hit a bump in the road, and ended up transferring to a hospital. It is disappointing – Jijitattoo is right that you can still love the happy outcome but regret some of the twists and turns along the way. One thing I thought of when we had to change our plans mid-stream: I looked at it as sort of a rite of passage into parenthood (a different kind of rite of passage from the ideal birth I had been hoping for). A huge part of parenthood is self-sacrifice – we learn to let go of some of our immediate wants so that our children can have what they need. When we were weighing what to do as I was in labor, I finally decided that even though there were many good reasons for wanting what I wanted, ultimately it needed to be more about LO than about me, and the way it turned out, this needed to be a sacrifice I would make for her. I found that helpful, anyway, and now, several months out, I am pretty happy with how things went. I hope that with time it comes out that way for you, too.

Post # 11
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You absolutely made the right decision to have a caesarian. You were presented with the information, and made an informed decision that lead to a healthy outcome for your baby. That isn’t saying it would have been wrong to deliver vaginally, but as a mother you made a good choice, and you have a healthy baby as a result. Please don’t feel guilty and second guess youself.

Post # 13
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Congrats on your beautiful baby boy! I’m so sorry things didn’t work out as planned but please try not to doubt that you made the very best decision you could with the facts you had at the time. So glad both of you are OK! 

Post # 14
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You made the right choice. If you had tried to birth vaginally you could have bled out. It’s not common but I’ve had a few friends go through that and it’s scary and turns into emergency surgery. Birth plans are just that- plans. You made the best choice when presented with the facts and I hope in time you don’t second guess yourself. You have a beautiful baby boy and didn’t lose your uterus or worse, your life. You are strong abd amazing, never doubt that! 

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