(Closed) Epidural Comments – "You won't be able to do it!"

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 31
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

Please please, for your own sanity, stop answering those nosy people when they ask whether you’re having an epidural and then you won’t have to deal with their responses! Just say “I don’t know” or “I don’t want to talk about it”. Unless that person is your OB, midwife, anaesthetist, husband, birth support, etc – anyone else doesn’t need to know your plans!

Good luck!

Post # 32
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

I have never been pregnant, but I think those comments usually just come from women who have been through it. My sister was totally against epidurals throughout her whole pregnancy, but when she finally went into labor she did change her mind and wanted one. It was surprising to all of us, because she was so determined before. I am not saying you will do the same, but I think it happens more often than we’d expect, which might be the reason behind those comments. I don’t think people are trying to be rude, they probaly think they are saving you from trouble. 

By the way, she couldn’t get an epidural, because she was already too far ahead and so technically gave birth naturally as she had wanted to. But for her second one she decided to have an epidural from the beginning lol. 

Post # 33
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

I also don’t want to get an epidural. It doesn’t even work sometimes! Yes, I could possibly change my mind, but as it stands now, I don’t want one and I told DH to not let me get it.

Post # 34
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

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Daizy914:  I gave birth to my daughter last January and my whole plan was to have an epidural, I never considered not having one. Well, I ended up having a super fast labor and had to do it med free. Was it rough? Of course. I was clueless to the amount of pain I would feel. I probably would have been more prepared if I didn’t have the epidural as a must have. I’m due again any day now and this time I’m open to doing med free again. Looking back it wasn’t that bad. Im’ sure you can do it!

Post # 35
Member
9800 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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Isabelle663:  Out of curiosity.  My OB gave me the standard “all labor hurts” meaning that pitocin wasn’t worse than regular labor.  I thought pitocin was HORRIBLE….AWFUL.  Do you think it’s actually not any worse?  I went from zero contractions to awful (I was crying) contractions every couple minutes within an hour when I was induced.  You don’t even get a nice warm up like people who go into labor naturally.  It was like zero to 12 on the pain scale and still having to go from 0-10cm plus effacing before that.

Post # 38
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

I’m assuming you’re in the US. In the UK, not having an epidural is considered normal. Equally, women aren’t judged if they choose to have one. But I wonder if our system is more based on women’s choices etc and is less medicalised. 

I wouldn’t say you’re weird at all. I’m not TTC yet but already know that I would only want an epidural if I were in a situation where I need a c section or other assisted delivery. (As an aside , I find it odd that 16 and pregnant say it’s ‘medicine to relieve pain’)

Post # 39
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee

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Daizy914:  those who can’t do it  shouldnt attempt to discourage those who cam do it. Pay no mind to them. i know plenty of women who have done without it, and had an all natural birth. So power to you!

Post # 40
Member
7426 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I went I to labor with the attitude of trying to hold off on any pain relievers until I felt it was absolutely necessary. I was not against epidurals at all, but I did want to try to wait until I was 5cm dilated because my best friend’s mom who is a L&D nurse said that helps decrease the chance of having to get a c-section compared to getting one before 5 cm.

I was induced, and the pain was unbearable for ME. That doesn’t mean it will be for everyone else, and it also doesn’t make me weak for wanting one. I had an amazing epidural, I could still move my lower body very well (the doctors were surprised, so that’s probably not normal ha), and I could still tell when to push during my contractions on my own. My labor was also 26 hours long with 2 hours of pushing. My epidural saved my life because it actually allowed me to get a few hours of sleep. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without it, I was so exhausted when I was pushing, I almost felt like I could pass out from exhaustion. No way I could have done it without the little sleep the epi allowed me to get.

That is MY experience, and yours could and probably will be very different. I think the important thing is to be flexible, but there’s nothing wrong with going into labor not wanting an epidural, just as there’s nothing wrong about wanting one. I just would avoid telling people your plans in general.

Post # 41
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I too experienced the same kind of comments when I was pregnant. I just sternly said I know I don’t want any meds or interventions unlesmedically necessary regardless of the pain. It usually shut people up when I stood behind my plan. I gave birth to my ds all natural and plan to do so if I get pregant again. It was painful but even women who had meds or an epi say it’s painful..you’re giving birth, of course its going to hurt! I think women really need to learn to support one another better rather than judge. We should have each others backs. 

Post # 42
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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Daizy914:  People need to mind their own business! If, during your labor, you decide that you want an epidural, you can always change your mind. Either way, it should be about what you want and are comfortable with. I can’t get over how pathologized birth is in our culture.

Post # 43
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

I had an unmedicated birth by choice, in fact i was writing out my birthing plan when my water broke.  In my plan I explicitly asked the nurses/doctors to not offer/speak of epidurals because i was fully aware that it is available to me, I also didn’t want a hep lock.  I waited at home as long as possible before going into the hospital.  When i did go in, i was already dilated to 7cm.   

I had a jacuzzi tub, birthing balls, adjustable bed etc. available to use, but what worked most was laboring sitting on the toilet (it was a high toilet, so my feet dangled off the side).  Lamaze breathing techniques didn’t help.  I fully attribute my natural birth to hypno-birthing techniques. You encourage you to read the books, listen to the CDs.   It allowed me to focus/meditate my way through the wave of contractions.  It’s pretty amazing what our bodies do in childbirth, we just go autopilot 🙂

After the birth i was so energized and present, i could have walked (shuffled) us up to the maternity floor but i was put in a wheelchair per hospital policy. 

I couldn’t recommend it more, but if you do choose an epidural do not feel that you have failed in anyway. 

If i do it again, i’d go the route of using a doula or mid-wife, even home birthing.  Don’t get me wrong there is pain and challenges in childbirth, but i thought learning to NURSE is WAY more challenging.  I think you get much better aftercare (ie. learning to nurse) with a doula/mid-wife.

Best of luck!  Everything will work out just fine.

Post # 44
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

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Daizy914:  I can’t stand it when women judge or try to one up each other when it comes to birthing, parenting etc. 

Someone will always have an opinion, think they are better for (“that’s what modern medicine is meant for”) or for not medicating, nursing for how long, nursing vs. formula or quietly thinking the name you picked out for your child is crap. 

Bottom line its your birth, your body, your baby.  Nevermind the naysayers.

Post # 45
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I hear this all the time when I tell people I want a completely natural birth.

“oh you’ll change your mind when the pain starts.” “HA! yeah right! keep thinking that!”

etc.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  daisybee90.

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