(Closed) Epidural Comments – "You won't be able to do it!"

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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Daizy914:  As long as priority #1 is a safe outcome, and of COURSE it is for everyone, definitely don’t worry about what other people who are not you have to say about your birth choices. You just do you. Whatever that looks like. 

I love this quote from Amy Poehler’s book Yes Please. She’s coming at it from a different perspective, but I think the sentiment of not being judgmental regardless of what “side” you’re on is just pure gold. So much of the insecure “Mommy Wars” crap would dissolve if people would just chill the eff out and repeat this to themselves.

 

“I have many friends who have had natural childbirth. I applaud them. I have friends who have used doulas and birthing balls and pushed out babies in tubs and taxicabs. I have a friend who had two babies at home! In bed! Her name is Maya Rudolph! She is a goddamn baby champion and she pushed her cuties out Little House on the Prairie style!

Good for her! Not for me.

That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me.

Post # 49
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

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Daizy914:  I am totally with you! I want a natural birth also, because I don’t want birth to be a medical experience. I feel confident that I can do what women have been doing for hundreds of thousands of years. But that’s me and my opinion. When I tell people I don’t want an epidural I get all kinds of looks and comments as if I’m a crazy person. They say I won’t be able to do it and I just don’t understand why anyone would say that to anyone else.  Even my mom says it to me and it makes me get defensive because it’s my body and my choice. If I can’t do it then let me figure that out, but I believe I can. I just try to block it out.

Post # 50
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

My mom had epidurals with my sisters, but not with me because she just got to the hospital too late to do anything. She has said the natural birth wasn’t unbearable, but having experienced both she’d opt for the epidural if she had to do it again.

And in terms of back pain, a lot of people get epidurals FOR back pain. I find it hard to believe personally if it caused back pain they’d use it to alleviate it. I think people that that has happened to probably had something else (like pregnancy!) that caused their later back pain. Correlation doesn’t equal causation.

That said, it’s ultimately your choice what you choose to do. I hate that people can’t accept that, just because they themselves wouldn’t make the same decision.

Post # 51
Member
537 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

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Daizy914:  i didny read your whole post yet so i coukd repky fast and say…… GET THE EPIDURAL!!!!!!!! I HATE needles and was terrified i almost cried but i squeezed the heck out of the drs and my moms hand but all in all it really wasnt as horrible as i thought bc i was aboht to not get it till the contractions got heavier and i was SOOOOO glad i got it closer to and during delivery bc i wouldnt have been happy camper or able to concentrate on pushing

Post # 52
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not that long ago epidurals weren’t an option. Plenty of moms managed. I’m pro epi for myself (literally the first thing I said upon arrival was put me on the epidural list right now! And I wasn’t in mich pain yet lol!) but I would never discourage someone. Is it possible they just want you to be realistic and keep an open mind that plans change so if that happens you aren’t disappointed? I have lots of respect for anyone that attempts (or wants to attempt) it and def would say omg you’re crazy to someone! But I don’t mean offense – I am just in awe! Anyways, unsolicited opinions suck but you’re going to get a lot of them throughout your life. Time to try and do your best to learn to let them go in one ear and out the other. You can’t control what people say, but you can control how you respond and how you let it affect you. Life’s too short to be annoyed by other people’s opinions on your choose that have nothing  to do with them.

Good luck! You can do it! (And if you change your mind just know that’s OK too!)

Post # 53
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Are you planning on getting a doula? If not, I HIGHLY recommend it. My goal was an unmedicated birth, but I had to have a scheduled induction and the pitocin/my dilation levels made me decide on an epidural, and ended up with a c-section.

There’s no way I would have made it as long without the epidural without the doula. She coached me through each contraction in a way my husband would not have even come close to. As a first time mom, your chances of having an unmedicated birth will be so much greater with this type of labor support.

Post # 54
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I had this discussion with some friends and they both said they wanted an epidural and one wanted a scheduled c-section, when I said I wanted a natural home birth preferably, they were making fun of me and rolling their eyes. People just hate to see anyone do something differently and our society has come to see “normal” childbirth as a medical procedure involving a hospital and drugs. It’s your choice, and doesn’t matter what anyone else says.

Post # 55
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I went into it with the mentality that I would decide in the moment. I told my midwife as soon as we got to the hospital that I wanted it because I was in so much pain, but she said I was ready to push so there was no time. It hurt like hell. Worst pain I have ever felt. But you get through it, you have to. You know that it will end. I’ve decided to definitely not have an epidural next time I give birth.

Post # 56
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

There will always be people that will make negative comments no matter which way you go.  Do what you feel is best! Your body will know what to do! You don’t have to justify your decision to anyone. Good luck!!

Post # 57
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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Daizy914:  I’m hoping I didn’t come across as judgemental, I don’t look down on women for their birthing choices at all. I had a really hard time with everything and I felt that I had personally failed not that other women are failures or anything like that. I can be really hard on myself. 

Post # 58
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

F*ck the haters and do what you feel is right for you!! I’ve never had kids but women had babies sans epidural for centuries and they were fine.

Post # 59
Member
6397 posts
Bee Keeper

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Daizy914:  for me giving birth was more terrifying then the needle which is why I opted for it. But I was really lucky. I had a quick labor, push and delivery time and didn’t tear. And had a great anethesiologist who know what he was doing. I didn’t even feel the needle but then again he never showed me what it looked like either. 

Post # 60
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I think in general people suck at encouraging plans. I have heard people bash for wanting an epidural. Its a personal choice. Getting an epi doesn’t mean you’re choosing to “drug your baby” as some say. That one really gets me.

my vagina, my baby, my labor, my birth, MY decision.

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