- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
@Extension54: *thumbs up* Thanks! I was already in bed so going & pulling the book out just wasn’t going to happen!
I, myself, had a very long labor but b/c I had a good support team I was able to maintain confidence until transition.. and even this it was about my mental disappointment over the actual “pain”
(37 hours to get to 4cm, 5 more hours to get to 7cm, 2.5 more hours to holding my baby… that’s 45.5 hours!!)
@MsSparklyBee: Definitely. Overall, the women who prepared to go unmedicated with supportive birth teams have said things like “It was definitely hard, but manageable” while moms that didn’t prepare expressed things like feeling “like dying” and those that got epis that failed “I felt like I was being ripped in half” (these are all quotes I hear daily from moms that fall into these categories.
There are occasions where those who planned natural with supportive, trained providers, had more difficult deliveries, but I’ve only heard one (that comes to mind at the moment) that was traumatic & she suffered PTSD from and that wasn’t because of the pain associated with going natural rather it was because her choice was taken away & she had no control of her labor b/c her provider forced her to deliver a certain way when she clearly needed intervention (the provider wanted to keep her transfer rate low).
I’ve also read countless times from women who had very minimal “damage” when their providers were specifically trained in the naturalness of birth & used methods that helped birth rather than inhibited it. 95% of the severe tearing & tailbone damage I’ve heard about were from women who birthed in the lithotomoy position, which logically isn’t surprising considering it closes the pelvis & create obstruction for the baby to maneuver around… If you read Ina May’s book Guide to Childbirth & refer to the Farms stats in the back you see a VERY different image of “damage” than we see in commonly practiced deliveries. Very few severe tears (more than half of their births have NO tearing & only a small few had severe 3rd-4th degree tears).. my homebirth MW has also only had ONE 4th degree tear in her 20 years… not the common story of moms who birth with teams that aren’t well versed in or supportive of natural birth.
Also, I think it’s forgotten and often ignored that it is NORMAL to want to cave & quit. Even in a very “easy” birth… it’s called transition & is the most mentally challenging experience of most any womans life! It sucks! BUT it’s sad that our systems don’t acknowledge this stage of labor & support it for what it is. Before the day of pain meds women declared things like “I quit…” “this baby is just going to have to stay in there..” “I can’t do this..” now we say similar things but also add “I want meds…” “I need an epi…” etc… to me it’s sad that a woman would have a team that so quickly folded when she is so close to acheiving what she desired to have (this of course does not include birth where intervention is needed & life saving). You can read countless birth stories of moms that wanted to go natural but caved between 7-10 cm b/c her team just couldn’t/didn’t provide the support she needed. Transition SUCKS, but it’s the shortest part of labor & no woman should discredit herself b/c she felt like she couldn’t do it then… that is exactly what the hormone cocktail in that stage produces & is part of the process. FWIW, there is a feeling of accomplishment that comes from an unmedicated birth that just doesn’t come with any other delivery route. It’s not being on a high horse or looking down ones nose… that’s just the way it is. We don’t diminish the accomplisment that comes from finishing a marathon or any other challenging task one sets out to do, why would we diminish the acheivement of birthing unmedicated. I know MW & doulas that DO give medals & awards to their moms that accomplish this feat AND I can say that I felt like freaking Wonder Woman when I had mine… both times I felt wonderful, like a new mom, getting a new baby (it really is surreal regardless of birth method), but only after my unmedicated birth did I feel like nothing could ever stop me from achieving something I wanted.
Sorry for the rambling… I just want to be sure that the correct perspective of birth, pain, & delivery “damage” is had b/c the views that we’re given by the common medical community & media is vastly different than those who practice evidence based natural birth methods and it only attributes to moms being fearful of birth & having poorer experiences. If a mom chooses to get an epi, it really should be because she’s informed & not because she scared of birth… especially when it doesn’t have to be like we hear from so many commonly practiced births.